View Full Version : A Tale of Two Walkers

March 27th, 2019, 08:16 AM
I wrote this on a whim for my girl cousin through email. She was writing me about how scared she was of one day ending up in an old folks home.
So I wrote this in an email back to her intending on it to be fun and humorous. She didn't take it that way, so I digress.
When you read it please bare in mind it is a fun and humorous story.
Thank you for reading.

A Tell of Two Walkers
A Love Story for the Aging
I was living in the retirement home, setting there enjoying my favorite pass time eating lime green jello, while watching out the window as the Mexican guy mowed the lawn.
Then in she came, the new girl, and she was hot! She had the cutest walker I have ever seen with pink handles and ribbons hanging from each side. She wore a colorful flowered night gown that came down just to the top of her ankles sporting a pair of red socks, with a pair of blue house shoe sandals on her little feet.

I smiled at her, only to remember at that moment I had forgotten my teeth, which were still in the drinking glass setting beside my half eaten lime green jello. She noticed me and smiled back and started my way, so I waited patiently for her as she pushed her walker forward while shuffling her feet to catch up with it. My heart sank, as she almost reached me when I heard Hound Dog Joe’s creaking bones move as he got up and introduced himself to her. I knew she was impressed by his walker, all the women where, because he had the largest walker in the house with bright yellow tennis balls stuck on the feet. He pulled back a chair for her to join him and I watched her accept the offer to set down. Hound Dog Joe stole my girlfriend, and then when I watched as the food cart rolled off back to the kitchen, a brilliant idea struck me on how to win back the girl of my dreams.

That night while everyone slept, I crept into the kitchen picking up my little walker and setting it back down shuffling my feet behind as quite as a mouse in a room full of cats.
I studied the food cart and figured out how to use a butter knife to unscrew one end with the wheels on it. Then wondered how I could attach it to my fateful little walker. I opened a few drawers and found what I needed, duck tape.

The next day at lunch I wheeled up to where my girl was sitting with Hound Dog Joe, gave her my sexy look and said, “Vroom, Vroom.” , as I pushed my new wheels back and forth, then said, “Hey sexy you want to go for a ride?”
At that moment the maintenance man showed up, cut the duck tap removing my new wheels.

I gave her a look of embarrassment as Hound Dog Joe roared with laughter, so I turned away in shame. Has I started to shuffle away I felt a soft hand on my arm. I turned to look and she had taken her teeth out giving me a big gummy smile. My heart became warm as the sun as we both shuffled away with our walkers.

The End

Olly Buckle
April 14th, 2019, 07:35 PM
I know Americans 'set themselves down', but when they have surely they are 'sitting', maybe not, you are pretty consistent about it. A pastime is a single word with a single 's', and 'where' and 'were' are quite different, as in 'What was where we were when we went?' (does alliteration help memory? Don't know :) )

Short but amusing, I liked the tennis balls.

April 24th, 2019, 01:47 AM
This story caught my eye and I found myself laughing aloud through it. I am a bit of a grammar/spelling nazi so some things stuck out to me, but not so much that I couldn't enjoy your story. If I received this in an email, I would have found myself chuckling aloud. I found it to be quite comical. I, too, liked the tennis balls and think you are very good at story telling. I liked the ending as well, where she was smiling toothless. Your attention to detail was great and added just the right tough of humor!

May 4th, 2019, 04:24 PM
This was heartwarming. Very nice little e-mail. :D

May 23rd, 2019, 09:03 PM
Beautiful story, great thought flow! :)

June 3rd, 2019, 08:20 PM
I like the concept that in an old folks home masculinity is now tied to how big their walkers are, but I would have liked to see the trope subverted and scoffed at.

Jim Creeper
July 24th, 2019, 07:05 PM
Lol. A sweet tale. A few... Eh... Poor decisions grammatically, and a few mis-words. It seems like your spelling errors could be attributed to rushing perhaps? Either way, I enjoyed it. Damn Hot Dog Joe 😄.