View Full Version : A random description

August 21st, 2018, 03:36 PM
I stand up. Where am I? I just touched this damn pin and now Iím at a different place. This isnít New York City. This seems to be more futuristic! Ö Almost fantastic! I watch around. This place is truly amazing.
I go forward. Three teenagers fly above me with jetpacks. They arenít the only one, who fly. Every vehicle flies. Ė Cars, train and even the buggy. Ok. Itís more a hover buggy. But hey!
I run. I canít believe this place is true. I arrive a train station. People live their life as normal as we do. However, itís more like in a cheesy sci-fi movie. A guy uses a hologram to look at a map. I believe, he is looking for the right train.
ďAre you coming,Ē A voice says. Itís a woman in a red uniform.
ďHuh? You can see me?Ē I ask stupidly.
ďYes. Of course, I can. Are you coming? We havenít all the day.Ē
I step into the train. The doors closed.
Wow! Even the trains are more amazing than in my world. A flying car is next to the train. It moves. The train got a glass floor. So, I can see it under me. It moves again. Pity! Itís away now. Iíd like to observe it longer. Ö

August 31st, 2018, 01:42 AM
Sometimes the words, they get in the way, when all we're trying to do is immerse the reader in a scene.

If you say it's cheesy, it colors the whole scene as such. If that's your intent, well done.

No doubt you see it. Now get out of the way so we can see it.