View Full Version : Girl and the Sun ( 1,971 words ) - short story

July 8th, 2018, 10:36 PM
There once was a young girl. Danica was her name, born on the first day of spring. That is why she blossommed early, like flowers when Vesna comes. Her long blonde hair, the colour of the Sun, covered her face while her azure eyes gleamed whenever she would smile. Songs were sung and many dreams dreamt about kisses from her cherry lips. There was no maiden as fair as her, which young Danica soon learned.
Courtships of young men became a bore for her. They were only peasants, rough and crude, only selfishly craving to own her beauty. "I'm more than that", she thought to herself once. "I deserve more than that...". Yet it wasn't the opulence of a kniaz or the tsar that she craved for. Nay, she did not want them. She did not want any man in particular. "But what do I want?" she asked herself while coaming her long golden hair. No thought would come up to give an answer, no matter how hard she thought about it. Putting aside the coam her eyes got fixed on her image in the mirror. "What do I want though?" rang repeatedly in her head. And just as she was ready to give up once more on pondering the question, she overheard her friends talking while coming up to her cottage:"I bet Danica has spent hours in front of the mirror just admiring herself, as always.", one said. "I bet she thinks she's as pretty as the Sun, you know.", added another one. The girls laughed when Danica came in front of them, smiling as always and hurrying them to get to the summer fair. "Maybe you will catch an eye from the boys today.", Danica hinted on purpose. She knew no one could see the others beside her. The girls pouted, but said nothing in return. They knew it too.

The remark though got stuck in Danica's mind. "Am I as pretty as the Sun? Surely I am more fair than any other girl. And there is nothing more beautiful than a fair maiden. Except the Sun... The Sun which shines on the world with its beauty is something else...". The thought would not leave her for the rest of the day. The girls noticed their friend being absent and quiet on the way to the fair, but they thought nothing much of it. Green from jealousy all of them thought it was just a whim of a pretty girl. The first one to break her out of such state was the old miller whom they met on the road. "Oh, you girls goin' to da fair I see. Fair as always all of ye are. Especially you, sweet Danica. Seeing you is like looking at the Sun itself, my dear!", cheered the old man while taking his hat off and bowing to her. The girls thanked the man for his kind words, since surely he must know beauty with his many years of experience born out of his amorous adventures, legendary in the village lore for a long time already. "Can you imagine the old geezer bedding so many women? There's no way!", the girls chuckled and continued their way.

When they came to the sunflower field, halfway through, a young man jumped out from behind the tall flowers. It was Dušan, the local poet of sorts, with his gusle hung over his back and a sunflower in his hand. "Oh Danica, I did not expect to meet you here", he proclaimed in an obviously rehearsed tone. "'Tis just my luck then!", he continued dramatically:"You get the pleasure of a guslar following you to the fair! They say it brings good luck, and that a poet may bring girl a luck in finding a husband.". His stunt was followed by open laughter from Danica's companions, while she accepted the game the young man had started:"And surely the poet gets no pleasure from such a feat, m'lord?". "It depends on the poet they say. Sometimes the husband the young woman finds turns out to be the poet himself actually.". Danica couldn't hold herself from laughing. She liked Dušan, but he was just a boy foolishly in love. Her hand touched his face and pinched his chin:"Look, you've got no beard as of yet Dušan. You're sweet, I swear. I've seen no man kinder than you and you will make some girl very happy. Some girl of your age perhaps, hm?". The sad look in the boy's eyes was hard to witness as he lowered his head and looked at the ground. Suddenly, he lifted it back up and looked Danica right into azure saphires that were her eyes:"Aye, I do know that Danica. I know you can never love an ordinary man, let alone a poor guslar who earns his bread like a vagabond, singing from town to town. There is no man alive you can see as your equal. Everyone who looks at you admires you and loves you, but it also hurts to look at you. You're just that pretty... Beautiful as the Sun one might say.". Her hands wrapped around him, hugging him:"For such kind and honest words, guslar, you deserve a reward.", said the beauty with a wide smile. Before the young boy could ask what that reward might be he felt the warm red lips upon his own. Before he could recover from surprise Danica was a long way ahead with her friends, leaving him stunned. "Hurts to be looked at... like the Sun...", rolled in the beauty's mind. Her friends got obviously dismayed with her display of affection towards the young man. It was not the Danica with her nose stuck up in high heavens that they imagined her to be all this time. They hoped to find out more at the fair which was just beginning to appear on the horizon.

Lots of people were already there, from all the villages nearby. Singers, dancers, jugglers, bear trainers, vodka vendors, hunters and farmers selling their produce. There was a bull fight already happening in the field, while on another one located next to the old forest were pack horses racing in pulling chopped down trees on the ground. In the middle of it all was an old blind guslar sitting on a red carpet with a wodden bowl for small money placed in front of him. He stroked his long beard when someone made a request:"Sing us something old man!". Only when he heard a metal clanck of coins in the bowl did he grab his instrument. In an instant he started strumming the strings made out of horse hair with his bow. With a deep voice he sang the oldest song he could remember, passed from time immemorial, about the Sun going on a trip every day from his castle to survey the world and look after mankind. Every morning his mother would see him off leaving in his chariot pulled by white stallions, and every evening she would welcome her son back to tuck him all tired from patrol in his bed so that he could do it all over again tomorrow. "And that is why there is daylight and how the Sun shines on all of us with its beautiful light every day", finished the blind guslar. From the crowd one small boy pulled his father's clothes asking:"Daddy, is the Sun as beautiful as Danica?". The crowd burst out in laughter and cheered even more when Danica herself came out of nowhere thanking the child and lifting him up to hug him. The boy's parents were friends of hers, one of the few true ones, living in a different village. She thus parted with her friends to spend time with the young couple, much to the delight of all of them. Suddenly, the old musician called for them, asking to see Danica. As she approached the old guslar shielded his eyes as if he was looking into a bright light. "My dear child, you are as beautiful as the Sun indeed!", he mumbled. "You must speak to him!", he added. "Speak to who?", Danica asked, but before she could receive an answer the small boy pulled her away to show her a bullfight. When she turned her look back to find the old man he was nowhere to be found.

Evening was fast approaching after few hours and Danica needed to go home. Her friends were missing as well which meant a solitary journey for her that evening. The sun was about to set in the west as the sky was coloured with tones of red. Last rays of sunlight were about to dissapear when Danica looked at the setting sun from a hill just outside her village. "You must speak to him!", she remembered the old man's words. Not knowing why, but feeling free to do so with no one around, she yelled towards the sun with all the pride born from compliments she recieved that day:"Oh bright Sun, I am more beautiful than you! If you do not believe that then come out at the sky and I will come out to this hill!". She then rushed home feeling foolish for what she has done. That night though, Danica woke up before dawn. The same feeling she felt on that hill overtook her - pride and curiosity at the old guslar's command. She just had to find out if the Sun will respond. "Oh, how silly I've become", she thought to herself:"But, no one would be there to see me. I just have to know.". She went out without even coaming her hair, wearing just her white dress for field work. Dawn was near so she had no time to waste.
When she got on the top of the hill dawn was just breaking. The Sun came out fairly quickly as Danica watched the sunrise sitting on the ground with her hands resting on her knees. The sun disc was rising steadily towards the sky but suddenly it stopped. Danica thought she was imagining this, but for a long time the Sun just stood there, unmoving. Out of nowhere the entire sky lit up so that she couldn't look anywhere except into the ground to shield her eyes. The sky itself started changing colors, changing from day to night three times. Then it all stopped and silence ensued. Danica lifted her head up. There was a young man standing in front of her, glistening in a golden armour embroided by jewels of all kinds. His blonde hair was flowing in the wind, glistening. His tall stature made his golden eyes seem even more imposing. "What is your name girl?", the man asked. "Danica...", the beauty answered, smitten with the man standing in front of her. "You truly are the most beautiful girl I have ever shun my light on, Danica. The old poet was not mistaken. I can see that now.". Danica stood up only to have the golden man kneel in front of her, taking her hand:"Please, grant me just this one wish. Be my bride, lovely one! I promise I will give you a place where all can admire your beauty properly, Danica!". The girl's mouth opened, a question leaving her lips:"What place could that possibly be, bright one?". The Sun god got up, clutching her hands on his chest:"The sky, my love. The night sky, where you will shine the brightest and from where you can observe all that you love and all that is beautiful. That is what you crave, isn't it?". Her lips developed into a broad smile as she exclaimed her confirmation with joy. She was then taken to the god's castle and put on the night sky to shine as the brightest and fairest star of all, as Danica the Morningstar.

Inspired by a Serbian folk song:

Sunce se djevojkom oženi

Djevojka je suncu govorila:
"Jarko sunce, ljepša sam od tebe!
Ako li se tome ne vjeruješ,
ti izađi na to ravno nebo,
ja ću izić za goru na vodu."
Kada jutro vedro osvanulo,
izlazilo na nebo sunašce,
a djevojka za goru na vodu.
Ugleda je lijepo sunašce,
ugleda je kroz jelovo granje:
kol'ko se je ašik učinilo,
triput je se sunce zaigralo,
pa odvuče lijepu djevojku,
da je uzme sebi za ljubovcu, —
od nje posta zvijezda Danica.

The Sun got married to a girl

A girl was telling the Sun
"Bright sun, I am more beautiful than you!
If you don't believe in that,
then you come out on that flat sky
and I will come out on the hill to get water."
When the bright morning broke
the sweet Sun was coming out on the sky
and the girl on the hill to get water.
The beautiful Sun saw the girl,
saw her through pine branches:
it was so love smitten
that the sun danced three times
and took away the beautiful lass,
to take her for his wife -
and from her became the Morningstar.

July 9th, 2018, 12:35 AM
I would be lying if I did not say I was thoroughly impressed with your skills as a writer and a story teller. You set the stage well and told a multi level story that all came together in the end. Each little segment had a purpose and was part of the fabric of the story. You managed a nice balance between show and tell. I saw no spag issues and thought this to be a very professional piece. I am honored to be the first here to comment on your work and I am looking forward to you being a huge asset to this community...Bob