Pete_C
August 30th, 2017, 10:21 AM
This has been spurred by a recent conversation, but is something that comes up time and time again on WF and in other crit groups. It's the instruction to cut work back, or the converse to add metaphor, emotion and imagery.
What tends to happen, especially with developing writers, is that they put together a poem, read it and think that it isn't poetic enough. They add some imagery, insert metaphors, weave in some fluffy poetic devices and show it to the world. They are then told to cut it back, remove anything that doesn't add to the message.
This is one of the most common comments when criting poetry, and that's because one of the most common errors is overwriting. Poetry tends to bring out the verbose in all of us.
I just saw a crow flying past. That becomes a demonic crow flapping his way across a bruised sky. Actually, the sky is stormy and bruised, like the face an orphan. The crow suddenly has a beady eye. A beady-eyed demonic crow flapping with the devil's energy across a sky, stormy and bruised, like the face an orphan! That's more poetic, isn't it?
No. Feedback says cut it back!
So, our developing poet writes something skeletal and sparse, only including words that add meaning. They post it up and are met with a different set of comments. Add metaphor, add imagery, add poetic devices. It's a devil/deep blue sea situation.
The reality is that for any poem, regardless of style and content, there will be a point where the message carries no flab, every word adds sense and power, and the work will be just right. The goal is not to cut back or to add, but to find that balance. At that point a poem has focus, strength and direction. The difficult part is how to achieve that balance.
It's easy to tell people to remove any part of a poem that doesn't add strength, that doesn't help to crystalise the message, but that's not the way to get it right. It's only one tiny step in a process that every writer should apply to every piece they produce. Too little is as bad as too much, and the wrong words are another battle altogether. Get it right and you end up with strength, emotion and imagery that allows the reader to go on a journey. Yes, you're spoon-feeding them, but you're spoon feeding them nectar. At times you want them to work to get that spoonful, but when they do work what they get is pure nectar. if they don't, you've cheated them.
Some might argue, 'Well, I want my poem to meander and be whimsical'. Fine; give the reader pure meandering and whimsy. Don't just make the poem vague and drifting and hope for the best. Readers will remember a powerful message, even if it's not heart-wrenching, shocking or inspiring. So long as it's the apotheosis of what you're saying, they'll remember it. If it's flabby or too thin, if it is vapid and indiscriminate, they'll soon forget it.
Don't think cut back, don't think add; think how can I deliver the essence of what I'm saying?
So, why the obscure title for this rambling post? Many many years ago, following a traumatic incident, I penned a piece about how illusion inevitably led to disillusion. It took me around 8 weeks to write and ended up being scrawled over around 6 foolscap sheets (and I have pretty small writing). I was very proud of it, and shared it with someone who was a sort of mentor at a writing group I attended. They explained to me it was pretty verbose, contained duplication and redundancy, and it needed a lot of work. However, he then explained (better than I have done) about using the right words in the right phrases, and delivering a compelling message via the poem.
I went away and worked on it, again for many weeks. I questioned the use of every word, of every line, of every image and removed those that didn't add to the purpose of the poem. Eventually I ended up with one line: All the flowers are made of paper.
I realised two things. The first was that one line summed up everything the rest of the verbage was trying (and failing) to convey. The second was that my poem was ironically an illusion that led to disillusionment. I put it away and forgot about it. To this day I always strive to deliver only text that adds to the reader's journey.
It doesn't mean I always achieve it...
What tends to happen, especially with developing writers, is that they put together a poem, read it and think that it isn't poetic enough. They add some imagery, insert metaphors, weave in some fluffy poetic devices and show it to the world. They are then told to cut it back, remove anything that doesn't add to the message.
This is one of the most common comments when criting poetry, and that's because one of the most common errors is overwriting. Poetry tends to bring out the verbose in all of us.
I just saw a crow flying past. That becomes a demonic crow flapping his way across a bruised sky. Actually, the sky is stormy and bruised, like the face an orphan. The crow suddenly has a beady eye. A beady-eyed demonic crow flapping with the devil's energy across a sky, stormy and bruised, like the face an orphan! That's more poetic, isn't it?
No. Feedback says cut it back!
So, our developing poet writes something skeletal and sparse, only including words that add meaning. They post it up and are met with a different set of comments. Add metaphor, add imagery, add poetic devices. It's a devil/deep blue sea situation.
The reality is that for any poem, regardless of style and content, there will be a point where the message carries no flab, every word adds sense and power, and the work will be just right. The goal is not to cut back or to add, but to find that balance. At that point a poem has focus, strength and direction. The difficult part is how to achieve that balance.
It's easy to tell people to remove any part of a poem that doesn't add strength, that doesn't help to crystalise the message, but that's not the way to get it right. It's only one tiny step in a process that every writer should apply to every piece they produce. Too little is as bad as too much, and the wrong words are another battle altogether. Get it right and you end up with strength, emotion and imagery that allows the reader to go on a journey. Yes, you're spoon-feeding them, but you're spoon feeding them nectar. At times you want them to work to get that spoonful, but when they do work what they get is pure nectar. if they don't, you've cheated them.
Some might argue, 'Well, I want my poem to meander and be whimsical'. Fine; give the reader pure meandering and whimsy. Don't just make the poem vague and drifting and hope for the best. Readers will remember a powerful message, even if it's not heart-wrenching, shocking or inspiring. So long as it's the apotheosis of what you're saying, they'll remember it. If it's flabby or too thin, if it is vapid and indiscriminate, they'll soon forget it.
Don't think cut back, don't think add; think how can I deliver the essence of what I'm saying?
So, why the obscure title for this rambling post? Many many years ago, following a traumatic incident, I penned a piece about how illusion inevitably led to disillusion. It took me around 8 weeks to write and ended up being scrawled over around 6 foolscap sheets (and I have pretty small writing). I was very proud of it, and shared it with someone who was a sort of mentor at a writing group I attended. They explained to me it was pretty verbose, contained duplication and redundancy, and it needed a lot of work. However, he then explained (better than I have done) about using the right words in the right phrases, and delivering a compelling message via the poem.
I went away and worked on it, again for many weeks. I questioned the use of every word, of every line, of every image and removed those that didn't add to the purpose of the poem. Eventually I ended up with one line: All the flowers are made of paper.
I realised two things. The first was that one line summed up everything the rest of the verbage was trying (and failing) to convey. The second was that my poem was ironically an illusion that led to disillusionment. I put it away and forgot about it. To this day I always strive to deliver only text that adds to the reader's journey.
It doesn't mean I always achieve it...