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PiP
August 11th, 2017, 09:23 PM
I am studying a poetry theory book by Stephen Fry. One of the exercises in the book is to write single lines and pairs of lines of iambic pentameter which are unrhymed

- That are conversational
- some that are simple
- some more complicated in construction
- silly
- descriptive

If you are a new poet and unfamiliar with iambic pentameter check out Wiki (Iambic pentameter (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Iambic_pentameter)) and Poetry Kaleidoscope (http://www.languageisavirus.com/poetry-guide/iambic_pentameter.php#.WY4HyzN9670)

I challenge you to write two lines and share them to this thread. Who's going to be first?

Sebald
August 12th, 2017, 12:38 AM
Everybody else probably understands, but would it be possible to give an example?

Freethesea
August 12th, 2017, 02:32 AM
I've never written a poem before, or at least not since grade school. But I like PIP so at the risk of being completely wrong and appearing somewhat... stupid, here goes.

He promised freedom in a road called sea
With a plan of illusion, and pocket of need

Hey... I should get something for trying and if it isn't a footstep counting pentameter, feel free to start over.

Darren White
August 12th, 2017, 05:55 AM
this morning I forgot to eat my pork
I took it with me on my bike to school

(commiserate excruciating pain
the agonizing disappearance hurts (that one is debatable))

remember always step outside the box
and eat a homemade cheesy roll instead

(oops sorry, that's six, which two shall I keep? I'll delete the rest)

PiP
August 14th, 2017, 12:08 AM
I've never written a poem before, or at least not since grade school. But I like PIP so at the risk of being completely wrong and appearing somewhat... stupid, here goes.

Hey, don't worry. Iambic pentameter is harder than it looks.

He prom/ised free/dom in/ a road/ called sea


This one is correct


With a plan of illusion, and pocket of need

Stick to one and two syllable words at the moment. Think about the stressed accents and where they fall on the these words.

i am crap at this.... summons Darren or one of our poetry mentors for a better explanation :)

Phil Istine
August 14th, 2017, 12:38 AM
Upon a clifftop drawing in my eye
a lonely willow wept despairing tears.

Ok, it's not exactly brilliant :) , but it is an example. Ten syllables per line. Syllables 2, 4, 6, 8 and 10 are stressed.

JustRob
August 14th, 2017, 08:28 AM
I find this style of verse too long to use,
And so because my lines are short I lose.

(I know that on this thread lines should not rhyme,
But for my part I do it all the time.)

... and I'm also fully aware that the stresses in the second couplet are probably wrong, but am I bothered? You only asked for one.

Darren White
August 14th, 2017, 01:05 PM
I have my hands, some paper and a pen
Today I write a five feet blank verse poem
(ehhhh.... isn't exactly right, but still fun)


Today I write a five feet blankverse ode (thanks Phil : )

Darren White
August 14th, 2017, 01:11 PM
I am studying a poetry theory book by Stephen Fry.

Me curious, is it "The Ode Less Travelled?" Or a different book?

Darren White
August 14th, 2017, 01:19 PM
With a plan of illusion, and pocket of need

Freethesea,
Your second line changed into a cool other meter with a nice musical quality to it: Anapest :)
That meter has two syllables in a row without an accent/stress, then followed by one with accent/stress. It swings!

Freethesea
August 14th, 2017, 02:17 PM
Freethesea,
Your second line changed into a cool other meter with a nice musical quality to it: Anapest :)
That meter has two syllables in a row without an accent/stress, then followed by one with accent/stress. It swings!

Thanks Darren White for the encouragement! But I'm thinking of just reading this thread and leaving the poems to the professionals.

I hope your 'five feet blank verse poem grows into 10' and you're welcome to steal my cool line for a hit song.

PiP
August 14th, 2017, 02:57 PM
Me curious, is it "The Ode Less Travelled?" Or a different book?


Yes, it is "The Ode Less Travelled". I have several other books but I find this one the best for meter

PiP
August 19th, 2017, 11:38 PM
This week is full of bloody bullet holes

The clock is ticking time tick tock tick tock

Darren White
August 20th, 2017, 05:35 AM
This week is full of bloody bullet holes

The clock is ticking time tick tock tick tock

Your clock 'tocks' really loud, what's wrong with it?
Are 'ticks' perhaps so bored they fall asleep?

Phil Istine
August 20th, 2017, 08:50 AM
I have my hands, some paper and a pen
Today I write a five feet blank verse poem
(ehhhh.... isn't exactly right, but still fun)

If you change poem to ode, it would help as the second line would be ten syllables. :)

Phil Istine
August 20th, 2017, 08:51 AM
Yes, it is "The Ode Less Travelled". I have several other books but I find this one the best for meter

Yes, I've read that too. I will re-read more thoroughly sometime though.

Phil Istine
August 20th, 2017, 08:59 AM
Tsunami nightmares flood my fitful sleep
awash with screaming cries of those who died

Phil Istine
August 20th, 2017, 09:24 AM
His ten commandments chiselled out of stone
reminding all to keep their inner peace

Darren White
August 20th, 2017, 09:40 AM
Pentameter is not a simple word,
for syllables with stress are two, not one,
depending on the country you are from.
In english I just ruined the iamb... too bad.

Darren White
August 20th, 2017, 11:10 AM
If you change poem to ode, it would help as the second line would be ten syllables. :)

Do you mean that poem is two syllables????
It is, I checked Howmanysyllables
That's simply awful, I've always treated it as one LOLOL
Languages!

PiP
August 20th, 2017, 11:57 AM
Do you mean that poem is two syllables????
It is, I checked Howmanysyllables
That's simply awful, I've always treated it as one LOLOL
Languages!

I tend to use a dictionary. However, the HowManySyllables does appear to be a good reference point. Like :)

Phil Istine
August 20th, 2017, 12:03 PM
Syllable count can vary with dialect, as can the stress point of a word - but most of it is consistent across the main brands of English.

Darren White
August 20th, 2017, 12:04 PM
I tend to use a dictionary. However, the HowManySyllables does appear to be a good reference point. Like :)

Yeah, I check dictionaries, Thesaurus, anything...
But it simply didn't occur to me that poem could be more than one syllable, so I never even thought about checking it :D

Howmanysyllables is cool, there are more of those sites, it's tricky business, syllable counting. The number of syllables depends on where you come from, US, UK, Australia, or even different regions in one country.....

Phil Istine
August 20th, 2017, 12:07 PM
Yeah, I check dictionaries, Thesaurus, anything...
But it simply didn't occur to me that poem could be more than one syllable, so I never even thought about checking it :D

Howmanysyllables is cool, there are more of those sites, it's tricky business, syllable counting. The number of syllables depends on where you come from, US, UK, Australia, or even different regions in one country.....

Here's one: pate Here's two: paté :)

PiP
August 20th, 2017, 12:09 PM
Syllable count can vary with dialect, as can the stress point of a word - but most of it is consistent across the main brands of English.

This may be a 'doh' question, but regardless of what the dictionary dictates as correct, I wonder if the stress points of spoken American English different to English (English)?

Phil Istine
August 20th, 2017, 12:17 PM
This may be a 'doh' question, but regardless of what the dictionary dictates as correct, I wonder if the stress points of spoken American English different to English (English)?

On TV programmes, I've noticed that on a few words, the stress sometimes falls on a different syllable. I'm not certain but I think this happens more in the south. I'm trying to think of an example but none spring to mind at the moment.
EDIT: Got one. Brit English says aluminium. US English says: aluminum . A small spelling change too.

Darren White
August 20th, 2017, 12:20 PM
This may be a 'doh' question, but regardless of what the dictionary dictates as correct, I wonder if the stress points of spoken American English different to English (English)?

That's something I unfortunately can't answer for you, because I am neither. I'm not even from an English spoken country. I do know however that I stopped doing poetry contests on another site when 'exact rhyme and stress' was requested and mandatory, simply because (as here with the word poem) I miss and err a lot.

PiP
September 5th, 2017, 11:41 PM
Okay, back to work :)

That dog keeps barking even in my dreams

The summer blues will fade to autumn hues

Phil Istine
September 6th, 2017, 07:00 AM
When writers feast on sugar-coated turds
improvement seems to linger far behind

TuesdayEve
September 18th, 2017, 03:22 AM
Oh, look! Four tiny little pinkish pigs!
All sitting near a very hot stove, ouch!

TuesdayEve
November 4th, 2017, 12:33 AM
Sun breathing on my cheek defied the rain
Warm sill I placed my hand resting waiting

Bloggsworth
November 4th, 2017, 12:01 PM
I had a thought at Christmas Time
to have some thoughts which really rhyme.

TuesdayEve
November 7th, 2017, 03:39 AM
Waiting, nervous for the knock at the door
Excited, anxious, figgety, ready

RC James
January 23rd, 2018, 08:31 AM
in full wedding night posture, unavowed,
forever's dusky form was their dark shroud

Phil Istine
January 23rd, 2018, 09:14 AM
in full wedding night posture, unavowed,
forever's dusky form was their dark shroud

This is close, but the first half of line 1 throws it off.
Consider this (heavy beats emboldened):

in full wedding night posture, unavowed,
forever's dusky form was their dark shroud

The only glitch I see is with wedding, where any slight stress ought to fall on the first syllable.
Maybe line 1 could be something like:

in wedding night regalia, unavowed

The problem with online syllable counters: In "regalia", the first two checkers I tried gave it as 2 syllables and 4 syllables. I reckon it's 3 because I would say it as reg.al.ya rather than reg.al.ee.a . I really don't know where the count of 2 came from in one of the counters.