View Full Version : Alligator Club (Flash Fiction)

March 7th, 2017, 06:18 AM
Alligator Club

The club started pounding and lights strobe back and forth, ecstasy was high and the night was lively. People heads were bobbing to the sounds of some drum-and-bass and house music. Tonight it was only me and my friend Clarissa that was jamming to the expanding crowd that packed in together among the place that is. We thumped and jumped as the people jumped as one in the room. And as we moved to the rhythm things went slow and slower. Slow motion we knew we felt right above our bodies and we didn’t care. Was it the drugs? Who knew and who cared! We were having a great time with our contortion of hands going along in a daze to the hour. Slower it had gotten within the flashing yellow, blue and red, lights spinning round like a disco ball. Some people saw something as the club disappeared. But I ZieZie and Clarissa saw it first hand. Was that I saw? Alligator by the pool, there was a court and it was row of lines buoying the water and there was deepest cove of water. We were there stunned and people behind us were too.

"What’s that?" said I.

"What’s that?" went Clarissa pointing to whatever it was.

The people behind us faded into the background and these unknown things were swimming below the grounds of the pool, we never saw anything like this before. And it was certain that I would never even for Clarrisa who loves anything mysterious could comprehend seeing whatever it was by the ends of a thread this situation was presenting us. I could hardly understand what was happening in the first place since the room and my friend suddenly held us in like chains. What was going on in the slightest?

"Let me get a closer look." said Clarissa.

They really were alligators and they sprang from the water and tried to gut us and loads from the pool started appearing from the pool more and more came running out of the aqua blue water. One by one, one after the other, it simply come rushing in at us like dodge-balls in gym class.

"Get us out of here!!!!!!" we said.

The club’s music kept pounding, heavy rotation of tunes drove the system of the room, into a constant state of…

‘Interior crocodile, alligator, I drive a Chevy movie theater, interior crocodile alligator, I drive a Chevy movie theater.’

"What is this?" I asked.

The room went back into playing drum-and-bass again. But to my horror, this happened.


And yes everyone was dead and not a soul in this club, my fathers venue is stained in blood, and I am in the biggest kind of trouble there is. Where is my father in the first place?

"I must remember that I am only 12, I am only 12, I am only 12, I only 12." mumbling over and over again.

"Why are you mumbling?" asked Clarissa.

"We gotta go." I said.

I grabbed her sweaty hand exiting the club and out from the fleeting hour of my problematic despair. We or at least I am in the biggest trouble of them all! My father is going to tear me to shreds. I am only twelve, only twelve, only twelve, god help me now.

"Where you taking me?" she questioned my efforts.

"An alleyway to hide from someone, father." I reply.

No I can’t do this, I began weeping and I noticed something funny… my earring of an alligator shaped symbol was missing, my mouth was too. HOLY CRAP I HAVE NO MOUTH! AHHHHH!!!

"My mouth, your mouth, how are we still speaking?" Asked Clarissa.

We began to question everything and this life was totally a bad experience for us, I will continue to weep again if I don’t have eyes to weep with that is. I will never go clubbing ever again in any age or anyone that demand my life for it.

Cave Troll
July 19th, 2017, 06:13 PM
I think a good polishing of this would improve it greatly. It needs
a good re-examination and a bit of rewording to make it a bit less
jarring (The beginning paragraph is a bit wonky in spots).

Though you did a fine job of describing the setting and atmosphere.
Haven't really read any drug based Horror before, but this was interesting.
Having never taken Ecstasy, I don't know how it affects the brain, but
the ending of your story sure makes it sound scary.

Well good luck with this. :)

July 31st, 2017, 07:07 AM