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View Full Version : A fun way to improve editing skills. Starring everybody's favorite person!



Burkholder
January 5th, 2017, 03:59 AM
The problem with trying to improve editing chops is that it's hard to find a consistent source of bad writing to fix. (that isn't my own..) Well, folks I have found the font of everlasting passive voice and misplaced modifiers: Donald Trumps twitter account. The rules I laid out for myself is that I can't change the content of his tweets and I cant exceed the 140 character limit. Within those parameters I must turn the haphazard collection of words into a legible sentence. For example:

Original:
I would have done even better in the election, if that is possible, if the winner was based on popular vote - but would campaign differently

In English:
If the election was based on the popular vote I would have campaigned differently and done even better.

Original:
China steals Us Navy research drone in international waters - rips it out of water and takes to China in unpresidented act.

In English:
China, in an unprecedented act, stole a US Navy research drone out of international waters!

I hope you find this little game as fun as I do! It's only depressing if you think about it too hard.

[emoji169] [emoji170] [emoji171] [emoji172] [emoji173]

EmmaSohan
January 6th, 2017, 04:24 AM
A great idea. It has to teach elegant, good writing.

Trump's tweets have more energy? To twist your idea around, I was trying to write like him. That's hard. He starts with a "fact", then adds emotion. That's as far as I got.


Trump most widely read author ever! A master! Tweets are magic! Study and learn from him.

The Fantastical
January 6th, 2017, 11:03 AM
Agh.... trump :apologetic:

Burkholder
January 6th, 2017, 02:19 PM
A great idea. It has to teach elegant, good writing.

Trump's tweets have more energy? To twist your idea around, I was trying to write like him. That's hard. He starts with a "fact", then adds emotion. That's as far as I got.
I tried writing like him. Was too big of a dummy. So sad! #MakeAmericasGrammarAtrocious #MAGA

EmmaSohan
January 6th, 2017, 07:35 PM
I tried writing like him. ...

Can I see? I can't capture him.

Burkholder
January 6th, 2017, 08:07 PM
Can I see? I can't capture him.
Donald doesn't get captured because he is strong and smart. He wins. Wins bigly! And MSM wont report

(I imagine him as a 13 year old Russian boy who is semi fluent in English and has a mild case of ADD.)

EmmaSohan
January 7th, 2017, 04:07 AM
"Boeing is building a brand new 747 Air Force One for future presidents, but costs are out of control, more than $4 billion. Cancel order!"

I'm sorry your thread got moved to humor, and I like your point. I think you can do the same thing with Camus, at least occasionally, perhaps because it's a translation. It's A LOT harder with King, there's usually a very good reason for his seemingly bad sentences. I hate: "He knew where he was going; few better." But try to rewrite it? I can't find anything I like. Rushdie might also be interesting to rewrite.

And I apologize for hijacking your thread, though it probably wasn't going anywhere here. Can you actually write a more powerful tweet than the one above? Again, it starts with a fact, then adds emotion, finishes with a huge punch. All in 140 characters. I can't see how the illegal grammar takes anything away from it.

Bard_Daniel
January 20th, 2017, 05:58 AM
An intriguing idea. Interested to see where it goes.