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rickyknight1
July 3rd, 2016, 11:26 PM
I have a secret, I can create worlds
and transcend time. It happened when I was a boy. Back when, my father's bedroom was filled with smoke. "Its time to start acting
like a man." Thats what he always said. Then one day I remember staring, feeling confused. He weighed like 90 pounds and he kept spilling out his arteries.
I remember always waking up to the sound of my mother's type writer.
She was the most beautiful woman
I had ever seen; she has the perfect mixture of joy and laughter, mixed with a dab of pain and misery.
I have a secret I can create worlds
and live in them.

(Part 2)

"What kind of deranged child writes
this kind of junk!?" That was my aunt's husband speaking. I made sport to catch a peek of her when she came out the shower.
One day, I decided to write about it, he found it. I heard the murmurs between the two of them- I caught a glimpse of her, and she looked slightly aroused. It was on that day that it happened.
I saw a purple orb hovering over me in my bedroom. It blackened everything! I felt like I was in another dimension. I have a secret and it happened on that day.

(The hero)

I was a giant and I stood 6 feet tall with bulging muscles. A sharp sword was held tight by my firm grip. I glared over the horizon with the sunset right beneath me.
My eyes held a burning amber, my fortitude was held together by righteousness and justice. I wore them like a breast plate.

(The villian)

I king Iron fist, am ruler of these lands. I took it with my bare hands and I held it by it's neck.
I gave it no relief, when it cried it's plea for mercy.

rickyknight1
July 3rd, 2016, 11:42 PM
(World #1)

I was now a part of the world which I had created, it was beautiful- the lands expanded as far east as they did towards the west; the sun glarred right in the middle of the sky, the clouds were so bright and fluffy- one could skip on them.

I soon saw smoke rising up ahead, it was coming from a small town. One which, was filled with slaves and merchants. This smoke was symbolic but, in a different light.
It signaled hard manual labor and as creator, it's one with whom I was opposing. This world was very different from what I had intended it to be.

All of it was atrocious! Like the dirt beneath my nails, I regarded it all as foul. Soon after I became bold and I confronted the town's people. I demanded for an explanation- I sought answers with questions that I hated, like- 'who's responsible?' for example.
I was in hot pursuit of my culprit and I wanted to slit his throat.
Eventually, I came across several answers of which I did not like.

I had sorted out counsel, I met with a mage, one with whom I could gain advice, he familiarized me with the perpetrator- he was an infamous king, who had taken the citizens captive; and he went by the alias "Iron fist".

rickyknight1
July 3rd, 2016, 11:54 PM
(King Iron fist)

I sat in my chair a golden throne, I find it very fitting.
[one of the kings trusted advisers, Lorell, walked in and approached the king]
"My king- I have received some disturbing news.
The end of our raid is come.
As we speak, he is looking for you."
"Lorell explain yourself.
Why do you trouble me with the actions of just one man?"
"Aye, one man yes but, this is not
just another person.
He is the creator, and he is seeking penance on our behalf."

The king grew furious and with a stroke of pride he said, "Shall one man come and rise against us and my empire!?
Or shall one man dare to venture, and contend against a giant fortress?"
"Oh! But, my king- we must become more clever.
We must not make the mistake of under estimating our enemy.
He must perish right away, and I know just the person to do such a- job."

rickyknight1
July 4th, 2016, 12:20 AM
(The Dragon)

And so there it was- death in the sky. At the sight of this dragon, my whole body trembled- the men were immobolized, we stared in shear terror as the mythical beast approached us.
It's roar shook the earth, It was spraying hot- lava from its mouth; melting everything in its paths.
"Let's make a run for it!" The mage
yelled out.
We scrambled around looking for safety, the dragon kept flying above encircling us- like a shark when it smells blood.

"We have no choice, but to use my enchanted staff." The mage suggested. "In the light of recent events, we created a number of poweful items." He said.
"Do what you must." I replied.
He got up on his horse, and climbed up on the hill to get closer to the ddrago, he was planning to strike it with his staff.
The dragon immediately noticed and dove in on him at maximum speed. I immediately knew- that I had to do something.
So I grabbed an archers' bow and arrow, and climbed up a hill on the opposite side- facing the both of them, as they were heading on a collision course.

I took a shot at the dragons' face, and my arrow exploded upon impact. I stuck a grenade with a sticky like substance on it's edge. The detonation caused the dragon a short confusion.
But, the mage plunged on the opportunity. He stood up on his horse during mid stride, then he leaped in the air, and pierced the dragon right through its neck.

It fled from the scene, We watched it drag away as it's neck wound spilled basins of blood. It made it a hundred yards or so before collapsing into it's eternal resting place.
It's vacated existence and inevitable death opened the tunnel- for my life to continue once more.

(The final battle)

The king was riding fiercly on his golden chariot, there was a cloud of dustball expanding right behind him, the lightning of the sky gathered up
just for this ocassion.
His horses were black, and his armor was made of gold and metal. I for one had no chance to quiver in my boots.
"We meet at long last creator.
I am king iron fist, ruler of these lands.
A show of respect and grattitude is owed you."
"I'm not here for your appraisals. It is as enemies that we meet."
"Aye, but the calf deserves to know its been eaten by a lion.
The sheep by a wolf. Likewise the snake by the eagle, and you the creator by me."

I drew my sword, I had no recompensations for that man. I recountered "I hope that by nightfall- I get to stick your head on the tip of my blade."
He attacked me with an enormous hammer. So much so that- had I been strucked, I would've surely turned to dust.
I instructed all of my men to stay behind; this little endeavor was between me and the king. But We were evenly matched, and our battle had come to a draw.

"I did not figure you a warrior creator, I am impressed. Indeed, it is by unforseen circumstances that we meet.
I have shaped this world very unlike you-"
"I've been disgraced! I am not proud of this- world, as you call it."
"Fret not.
I am the execution of your right arm, for behold!
Before me- this world swung loosely by it's tail."

I had already set a trap, It was a giant boulder- hanging on the cliff above his head. I launched my dagger at it, setting free that which I had already ensnared.
It crushed him his legs were immobilized, and he became invalid. And in the end, I got to keep my promise. I grabbed him by the flock of his hair; and I proceeded to dicapitating him.

-THE END-

Jay Greenstein
July 4th, 2016, 01:12 AM
First. Breaking prose into short lines does not make it either poetic or poetry. And once it's put back into normal form it's obvious that it's not been meaningfully edited, or even spell checked, which is always a mistake, because you should present nothing but your "A" game.

You need to work on that and present it in more readable form.

rickyknight1
July 4th, 2016, 01:38 AM
First. Breaking prose into short lines does not make it either poetic or poetry. And once it's put back into normal form it's obvious that it's not been meaningfully edited, or even spell checked, which is always a mistake, because you should present nothing but your "A" game.

You need to work on that and present it in more readable form.
You can read it now, it should look and feel much better!

Grim_L
July 5th, 2016, 07:02 AM
I really like your writing style. It seems very honest to me... when most the time I read others people's stuff it seems the complete opposite.

rickyknight1
July 5th, 2016, 03:03 PM
I really like your writing style. It seems very honest to me... when most the time I read others people's stuff it seems the complete opposite.
Yes I read somewhere that it's good for the author to remain honest in his writing.