PDA

View Full Version : Hardboiled Egg gets fried



Ian8777
September 18th, 2015, 08:46 PM
I was just getting used to things being quiet when she came back into my life and opened the door. She had bad news written all over her face like a Sunday tabloid reporting an earthquake. Her blonde hair fell down her heart shaped face. She was a blonde enough to make a bishop kick a hole in a stained glass window. To be honest it could have been a lot worse. It could have been her husband laying his greasy fat fingers all over me. He was a loser, a drunk. The kind of guy who goes out for a beer and wakes up in Singapore with a full beard. The silk was tight on her legs and under it the muscles worked slow and easy. I saw weight there, and control, and, brother, those are things I like in a woman. She ran her fingers down my face and lowered her lashes until they almost cuddled her cheeks and slowly raised them again, like a theatre curtain.

She took me from my box and cracked me into the frying pan. It was hot like a hot dry Phoenix night that blows across the desert and makes your hair curl and your nerves jump. On nights like that every booze party ends in a fight. Meek little wives feel the edge of the carving knife and study their husbands’ necks. Anything can happen. You can even get a full glass of beer at a cocktail lounge. When she had done cooking me she laid me out like a teenage corpse on a piece of wholemeal. Her full red lips moved like pistons on a steam cruiser as she cut into my yoke. The last thing I felt was a funny feeling I had written a poem and it was very good and I had lost it and would never remember it again.

The end.

J Anfinson
September 21st, 2015, 03:48 AM
The similes here don't always work very well and the title gives away what could be a good punch line. Maybe you could call it something like "Fried". I honestly think this needs a lot of work before it would be funny.