View Full Version : Cubik's world Chapter 11

August 29th, 2015, 03:53 AM
I changed the title to Cubik's World so that I wouldn't go to court just for using Rubiks in the title(turns out Rubiks is trademarked).

So here is the 11th chapter that I recently wrote:

An extended family was told to go to the desert to study how animals survive a very hot environment.

The oldest of the children said, “I’m scared. What if we run out of food or get too hot, or run out of water, or get bit by a venomous reptile? Those are all very likely in the desert.”

The mother said “I know. If we run out of food, the cacti might have some fruit for us. If we get hot, we can go to the shade. If we run out of water, we can tell the cubes to send us some more water. If we get bit by a venomous snake or lizard we can ask the cubes to take us to the hospital ASAP.”

So they traveled to the desert. This took them 2 weeks. They were now ready to study wildlife. The father organized them.

The father said “You young children, study the bugs and watch out for scorpions. You older children, study the small mammals. You wife, study the larger mammals. You dad, study the non-venomous lizards. You mom, study the non-venomous snakes. You father-in-law, study the venomous lizard known as the Gila monster. You mother-in-law, study birds. I will study venomous snakes.”

They all said, “Got it.”

They all went their separate ways and made sure they stayed in contact.

The youngest child said “Look, a spider. And it is spinning its web. How does it do that?”

His sister said “I don’t know. Let’s study this spider.”

Her brother said “Okay.”

The oldest child said “Look, a ground squirrel.”

Her sister said “Do we have a device that lets us see in burrows?”

Her older sister said “Yes, This small camera will allow us to see inside the squirrel’s burrow without digging.”

Her younger sister said “Cool. Let’s study this squirrel.”

The mother said “I hear a howl. There must be a wolf or coyote somewhere. I will follow the direction of the howl.”

The paternal grandpa said “Oh, right there is a lizard. Looks like an iguana. I will study this lizard.”

The maternal grandpa said “Right there is a Gila monster. I have to be careful because if I get bit by the lizard it is going to really hurt.”

The paternal grandma said “There is a kingsnake. It is completely harmless.”

The maternal grandma said “There is a little elf owl. I will study this little bird.”

The father said “There is a rattlesnake. I have to be really careful, even more than my father-in-law because rattlesnake venom is very powerful.”

So they all studied animals of the desert from small bugs like spiders to venomous animals like rattlesnakes. One of the younger children got stung by a scorpion.

The older sister called everybody and said “My brother just got stung by a scorpion while we were studying this spider.”

They said “Well call the 3x3 to get him to the hospital because even if the venom itself doesn’t cause any harm, he might be allergic to it.”

She did that and took precautions when around scorpions. The doctor gave him some scorpion antivenom. He was all better in a few weeks.

After a few weeks she called the 3x3 again and told her “If my brother is all better can you transport him back to these coordinates?”

The 3x3 said “Yes I can” and transported him back to where his sister was.

He said “Hi, I miss you so much. Have you learned anything about spider silk production?”

His sister said “Yes, a lot. Each spider has 6 glands, each for producing a different type of spider silk. These different types of spider silk are used for different purposes. The spider kills its prey by delivering a venomous bite. The bugs it eats help it produce more spider silk.”

Her brother said “Cool. I have had spider bites before and they are very itchy. Is that because of the venom?”

His sister said “Yes the venom a spider injects causes the bite to be very itchy. If you get bit by a black widow or a brown recluse you are going to need medical attention because these are 2 spiders that can kill humans.”

Her brother said “Look, a snake, and it is coming towards us!”

They said “Grandma! Have you been following this snake?”

She said “Yes I have been following him. Don’t worry, he isn’t dangerous.”

They said “Well we have been studying spiders and how they use their venom and webs and other bug’s defenses against spiders”

Grandma said “Cool. Do you want to follow me with this snake and maybe study other bugs along the way?”

They said “Yes, definitely.”

Grandma said “Well follow me as I study this snake and you can study the lives of other bugs.”

While they studied bugs and snakes their maternal grandpa was bit by a Gila monster. He called the 3x3 to transport him to the hospital.

Everybody said “Uh oh. He is the only one that has studied the Gila monster and now we need someone else to study them.”

They called the other grandpa and said “Your cousin that was studying Gila monsters just got bit by one. Can you study Gila monsters along with the non-venomous lizards you are already studying?”

He said “Unfortunately no. I am already occupied with these lizards.”

They all said “Uh oh. He is going to miss out on the Gila monster.”

The young children following their grandma said “Call my father, he is studying venomous snakes and the Gila monster is venomous”

Grandma said “Good idea. I will call him”

So she called him and said “Hi. Your father-in-law just got bit by a Gila monster and since you are studying venomous snakes, can you study the Gila monster while he is gone?”

He said “Unfortunately no. My father also said no.”

The youngest sister said “But then who is going to study the Gila monster? I mean my brother got stung by a scorpion so until he is immune to scorpion venom I don’t want him risking his life studying a lizard.”

Her father said “I know you don’t want him to study these lizards but they only use their venom as a defense. He could study them safely.”

The young children called their grandpa at the hospital.

He said “Hi grandkids. Glad to hear you are doing okay. Have you been following a snake?”

The younger brother said “Yes. We have been studying bugs and following Grandma who is studying this harmless snake. We were wondering when you will come back to study Gila monsters because neither your cousin studying lizards nor your son-in-law studying venomous snakes will do it.”

Grandpa said “In a week or 2. Why don’t you study Gila monsters?”

The older sister said “My brother is scared that he will get a venomous bite like you did. He already got several venomous stings from scorpions and lots of spider bites while we were following Grandma.”

Grandpa said “Well okay then. I guess I will be here a week or 2 after you come home or something.”

Each family member or group of family members continued studying animals. The younger children and grandma found the older children.

The older sisters said “We have been watching these ground squirrels. We have seen a few snakes including these with rattles at the end of their tails.”

Grandma said “You mean the rattlesnakes your dad has been studying?”

The older sisters said “Yes those are the ones as well as the kingsnakes that you have been studying.”

The children are back together. After some time they came across their dad and their mom.

They said “Mom! Dad! We have been studying bugs and ground squirrels and we have seen coyotes eating these ground squirrels and rattlesnakes. We have also seen scorpions that have stung our brother several times. We were very afraid when we saw the rattlesnakes.”

Dad said “But why? Why were you so afraid of these snakes?”

They said “We knew they were venomous and could bite us. And because we are small, some of us could get eaten by the rattlesnake. Luckily, any snakes other than kingsnakes that Grandma has been following didn’t bite us.”

After a while they came across both of their grandpas and their grandma. They were back together.

They all called the 3x3 and said “Help! We are stranded in the desert. Because we all went our separate ways at first and now are back together we don’t know the way back. Can you pick us up at these coordinates?”

The 3x3 said “Yes I will take you all back home. Don’t forget your journals about all the desert animals.”

They all said “We got them.”

They went back home and told everybody about all the desert animals and their experience.

They all said “Cool. Now we know all about 2 habitats. Those are the southern swamps and western deserts.”

Some people asked them to do mountains next, others forests, others prairies, others the African savannah, others the arctic, others the Antarctic, and requests for different habitats just kept coming.

This extended family now had to decide where to explore next.

Are there any errors as far as grammar and style? What about sentence structure, do I have too many simple sentences?