View Full Version : The Politics of Being Super

August 28th, 2015, 07:24 AM
An attempt at an all dialog fiction. Sink or swim, right?

"The time now is 10:55 and only moments ago the heroic duo Laser Larry and his sidekick Blades nearly succeeded in capturing the elusive Diddler. The Diddler has terrorized citizens of Hearthome City for months, but only now have we seen a glimmer of hope. Here with us now is Lucy Lark to tell us more on this story. Lucy."

"Hi, Bob, it is quiet here at the corner of 27th and Maple, but earlier it was a very different scene. Witnesses say the Diddler arrived under the cover of darkness in an effort to break into the National Museum of Overpriced Gemstones. When the alarms sounded our heroes arrived where an epic battle soon ensued. Ma'am, how would you describe the face off between Laser Larry and the Diddler?"

"Oh it was amazing. The Diddler came out the museum with these two big... cannons I guess and here comes Laser Larry. He falls out of a helicopter waaaay up in the air and shoots at the Diddler. Pew, Pew. Then the Diddler starts shooting back. Concrete and smoke everywhere. Then Blades comes up behind the Diddler and grabs him like this."

"Oh, that's okay, we don't need a demonstration."

"Well, he grabs the Diddler in like a bear hug and it looked like he had him. Suddenly the building across the street blows up and the Diddler slipped away, but not before dropping all those gemstones on the street. Thank goodness for Laser Larry and Blades."

"There you have it, folks. Another Diddler plot thwarted by our very own super heroes."

"I have something to say."

"It seems another witness has come forward with more to add."

"Yes, my name is Marco Mills of Mills Bakery. My bakery has stood for 3 generations, or at least it did until all this super hero business started up. Now every time those two come dashing in and ALMOST catch the bad guy, my bakery takes substantial damage in the battle."

"So you're saying that you don't appreciate the deeds of Laser Larry?"

"No. I mean, what happened to a good old protect and serve police force? At least when the cops were making their rounds I didn't have to board up my windows. I've taken so much damage to my shop that my insurance has dropped me from coverage. How am I supposed to raise a family like this?"

"It seems not everyone is impressed with the job our heroes are doing. Bob, back to you."


Good Morning, Hearthome City. It's 6:31 in the A.M. and a balmy 55 degrees. Make sure your kids bring their jackets to school this morning. Our top story: while the super heroes Laser Larry and Blades patrol the streets at night, during the day a new super hero of sorts has emerged. Marco Mills of Mills Bakery is making his rounds again this morning raising awareness for the collateral damage caused by our beloved super hero duo. His efforts are met with mixed feelings."

"It's something regular people just don't think about I guess. I mean, two dudes come smashing through the city after the Diddler and something gets wrecked. Who pays for that? The businesses I guess."

"I think it's stupid. Laser Larry is fighting for our safety. So what if a few windows are broken. At least our kids can go to sleep knowing they're safe because Laser Larry and Blades is out there fighting our crime. That is worth more than money can buy."

"I don't know. I think this Mills guy is crazy if he thinks the Mayor is going to do something about it. There are just too many other important things to worry about, like the potholes on 8th Avenue."

"More on this story after weather and sports. This has been Bob Hammil, have a great day, Hearthome City!"


"Top Stories at this hour. A school bus was overturned at the intersection of Highway 1788 and Bay st. No injuries were reported, but a full investigation has been launched. Are your pets becoming resentful? A new study shows that an estimated 45% percent of dogs and a shocking 97% of cats exhibit signs of resentment toward their owners. In city hall today the Mill's Initiative goes for a vote. The Mill's initiative states that all businesses in Hearthome City should be granted the ability to purchase Super Hero Collateral Damage Insurance to offset the cost of damages small businesses incur during super hero battles. More news after this break."


Good Morning, Hearthome City. It's 6:13 in the A.M. Commuters should watch for ice on overpasses, and make sure those kids have coats. It's going to be a cold day today. The Mills Initiative, passed last October is proving to be a double edged sword. With us today is the head of the Super Hero Collateral Damage Committee Natalie Kim to talk about the success and failings of this controversial legislation."

"Hi, SHCDC has worked closely with the businesses of Hearthome City for several weeks now. What was slow enrollment at first became an avalanche of business owners crying out for coverage. In January alone a record 117 businesses registered and paid for Super Hero Collateral Damage insurance. Out of the total of 279 businesses registered with the SHCDC, nearly 80 percent have made damage claims. Everything from missing goods, to damaged buildings. Our inspectors are working long hours investigating the claims, and we are almost three weeks behind. The most shocking part is that a vast majority of these claims are legitimate and now the city is struggling to keep up financially."

"So the city is paying the businesses for the damages?"

"For now, yes. No big insurance companies were interested in starting up Super Hero Damage insurance so the city has stepped in to cover the cost. Mayor Bahls has said he will not raise taxes, nor will he discontinue the SHCDC if this is what it will take to keep Laser Larry and Blades in Hearthome City."

"But how long can the city pay for all these damages?"

"Our financial analysts have given up a 7 month window before drastic changes in the city's finances are considered. We have a group of top notch economists working hard to come up with a solution to our financial crisis. For now, we still urge all businesses to register with City Hall and take advantage of the Super Hero Collateral Damage Insurance."

"Thank you, Mrs. Kim. Now here's Tim with sports."


"We interrupt our regularly scheduling programming to bring you live to City Hall where Mayor Harold Bahls will speak about the ongoing financial crisis of Hearthome City."

"Citizens of Hearthome City. Our streets have been safer, but our wallets have been light. Street maintenance and basic utilities have suffered under the strain of our financial crisis. With our city under such financial pressure, crime has risen a startling 34%. Everyone from petty thieves to costumed villains have come out of the woodwork to ravage our once fine city. With the rise of crime has come the rise of super heroes to fight it. It is because of this trend I announce a collateral damage tax levied on any super hero working within the city. It is a small tax, of course. We love our heroes that work so tirelessly to keep us safe. It is my hope that these measures can help us out of our current financial crisis."


"Good Morning, Hearthome City. It is 7:29 A.M. Thunderstorms are expected late in the afternoon so be sure to bring those umbrellas. In the news today, where have all our heroes gone? The past few weeks we have seen a sharp decline in super hero activity. Witnesses say even Laser Larry and Blades have been all but missing since the Super Hero Collateral Damage Tax was instituted. Lesser known heroes have laid down their weapons in lieu of signs to picket in front of City Hall, calling for the end to the tax. Fearing a rise in crime, the police force has bolstered their ranks, increasing the size of their force by 33 new officers in just the last month."


"The time is now 9:45. We are here with Lucy Lark and head of the Super Hero Collateral Damage Committee Natalie Kim. Lucy."

"Hi Bob. It has been several weeks since the super heroes went on strike. It seems a very unlikely phenomenon has occurred. Mrs. Natalie Kim is here to tell us more."

"The collateral damage from super hero battles has risen exponentially, but at the SHCDC we are just plain baffled. While the super heroes of the city continue to strike a new force of outsourced super heroes has stepped up the the plate. These super heroes come from far and wide on work visas. Many speak little or no English and have minimal super hero training. Due to their citizenship status, the SHCDC is unable to collect taxes to cover the damage caused by these lesser skilled heroes. The results are disastrous. It seems the SHCDC will be closing its doors August 31st due to the lack of funding. We can only hope that a miracle will save our crime riddled, economically failing city."


"Good Morning, Hearthome City. The time is 6:29 in the A.M. Top story. While everyone was snatching up turkeys for Thanksgiving this weekend, one person's snatching days are now over. The infamous Diddler was apprehended Saturday following a routine traffic stop. He was found in possession of almost $25,000 worth of stolen merchandise from the Burke's Jewelry store in downtown. The arrest was surprisingly anti-climactic. Here with us is Sergeant Doug Farrow and Officer Denise Markopf to tell us more."

"Oh, where to begin. Officer Markopf and I were on our beat following an informant lead when we spotted a Chevy G20 speeding down the highway. We hit our lights and the van pulled right over. We saw the driver shuffling around when we walked up to the van and just assumed he was reaching for a weapon. Officer Markopf opened the door and we saw the Diddler furiously trying to remove his makeup. Without a second thought this scrappy green officer yanks him out of the van and has him cuffed without even so much as a struggle. All this time these super heroes were trying to catch him and all it really took was a little police work."

"It really surprised me. It's only my second day on the force, and already I've been able to really do something good for the city of Hearthome. I used to grow up wishing I had super powers like the heroes do. I guess you could say being a cop is a super power too."


Good Morning, Hearthome City. It is 6:25 A.M. and a New Year has officially begun. This last year Hearthome has seen it all. From financial crisis, to increased crime rates, the rise and fall of the super hero and finally peace. Here's to hoping our next year is boring by comparison."

August 28th, 2015, 03:32 PM
An innovative bit of societal satire I found refreshing.

While the sequence of newscasts adequately portrays the storyline, I could see this as a graphic storyline, adding to the parody as it were.

No nits that I noticed, well done.

August 29th, 2015, 01:26 PM
I enjoyed this bit of satire, well written, also. One minor nit: Larry and Blades are out there fighting our crime.