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caters
August 6th, 2015, 02:15 PM
I know I don't usually make jumps between chapters where the 2 chapters aren't 1 after the other but I thought that maybe my 10th chapter needed critiqued. Besides I am also a member of 2 other writing forums.

Chapter 10: The Exploration

A brave cube decided to explore the unknown. One habitat that has not been touched by anyone is a swamp.

He went south and just continued in that direction. Luckily, he could find deer wherever he went so he only needed to pack fruits, veggies, water, and carb rich foods, as well as some energy drinks to replenish electrolytes.

He walked for 15 hours in 3-4 hour intervals. So he ate breakfast, walked for 4 hours, ate lunch, walked for 4 hours, ate dinner, walked for 4 hours, ate a late night snack, walked for 3 hours, and then slept for 8 hours. He knew how to survive any kind of animal attack and how to get rid of porcupine quills and had antivenom for any venomous snakebite.

His walking speed is 5 mph. So if he walks for 15 hours a day at 5 mph he walks 75 miles a day. The closest swamp is 1000 miles away. Therefore, it will take him 2 weeks to get there.

After 2 weeks he got to the swamp.

He told the 3x3 by radio transmission “Hi. I am at the swamp. I will see who lives here.”

The 3x3 said “Okay. Be careful. I have heard that there are large animals that have a lot of bite force.”

The brave cube said “Okay. I will call you if I get bit by any large animal here.”

The 3x3 said “Okay.”

He saw many animals that live in the northern woodlands such as raccoons and cougars. He looked at the strange animal in the swamp. It was after him.

The brave cube said to the 3x3 “Uh Oh. There is a large animal going after me. I can survive the attack but can you come here as fast as possible to treat the bite that results? I will send you the coordinates.”

The 3x3 said, “I am on my way.”

He flew to where the attack was happening. The brave cube drew a picture of the animal that was attacking him before he was attacked.

The brave cube said after the attack, “Ouch, that hurts and it is bleeding really badly.”

The 3x3 took him to the hospital and took the drawing with him.

He said at the hospital “Doctor, Doctor, This is an emergency. A large reptile in the swamp bit this brave cube. Here is his drawing of it.”

The doctor took him to the emergency room.

He said “I have never heard of that reptile. Give him some antibiotics and stop the bleeding. Give him some fluids once the bleeding has stopped.”

The brave cube asked the doctor to match the picture of the reptile that bit him to pictures of reptiles.

He did and said “He was bit by a”

The 3x3 and brave cube both gasped before the doctor told them what it was.

The doctor said “alligator”

The cubes asked “But how do you know it is a gator?”

The doctor said, “Wide rounded snout, lower teeth don’t stick out, and a gray to black color means it is a gator.”

The 3x3 said “Be careful when you are around gators in the future. They are very opportunistic and will eat fish, mammals, reptiles, and even birds.”

His pieces that came apart grew back within a few weeks. He knew now to be careful when around gators so they do not attack him. However, there was another reptile in the swamp. He saw part of the faceoff between the gator and this other reptile.

He asked the scientist “What is this reptile that I saw facing off with the gator that bit me?”

The scientist looked at pictures of this other reptile.

He said, “It is a crocodile. Crocs and gators both live in the swamp and they sometimes faceoff. Whoever is bigger is the winner. Looking at your picture of the gator and croc it looks like the gator won this one.”

The brave cube said “Okay. So not only do I have to be careful around opportunistic gators but I also have to be careful around crocs even though a croc attack is less likely.”

The scientist said, “That’s right.”

So, the brave cube made a food web of the swamp after several more trips. Inevitably, a reptile bit him every time. Most of the time it was either a gator or a snake that bit him. The last time he went there though a croc bit him.

The brave cube after his long recovery from that croc bite showed everybody the food web of the swamp. He said “Gators and crocs are the top predators in the swamp. Crocs will sometimes eat sharks and gators will sometimes eat cougars. You always have to look out for gators and crocs when you are in the swamp.”

1 thing that I am wondering is if I am using split quotes correctly when the doctor tells them what reptile bit the brave cube.