View Full Version : Redemption[2,930 words] (language)

May 25th, 2015, 09:03 AM
Here's a zombie story I wrote a few days ago.Let me know what you think :)

They were coming at them in droves, their blood-caked arms outstretched like sleepwalkers, some of them crawling on the asphalt and others shuffling in agonizing slow-motion, uttering guttural ‘oooh!’sand ‘aah!’s. They were closing in.

“Holy shit, that god damn car alarm must’ve attracted them. We shoulda waited to get supplies further down the road” Kevin cried. He grabbed Eve by the arm and they both dashed back into the mom-and-pop store – the words Lettuce eat were printed in pink letters above its double glass doors – as quickly as they had come out of it.

“What if there zombies behind the back door?” Eve said softly as they were running through an aisle littered with broken glass jars of food, her matted long hair breezing behind her. They both hadn’t bathed in at least a week.

“Can’t you see how many of them are out there? How dense are you? I’d rather take my chances back here than in front!” Kevin said, glaring at Eve and pointing a frantic finger at the front doors. He hated snapping at Eve like this, but she had the capacity to unnerve him at the most inopportune times.

Eve said nothing, only went on staring at the entrance with glassy eyes and a quivering lower lip.

“Move you son of a bitch!” Kevin shouted as he pushed the emergency exit door to open it, but it didn’t budge.

“Give me a hand, will you? I think something’s blocking the door on the other side!” Kevin said frantically, and glanced over to the entrance again. The zombies were now in the store.

Eve snapped out of her trance and renewed her efforts to skedaddle out of here by putting all her weight — all 110 pounds of her—on the door, grunting in effort as if she were bringing a new soul into this world.

They were about to give up — the first-in-line zombie now was making it through the bead curtains to the storage area— when the door finally started moving, the thing that was blocking it scraping against the asphalt.

“Take out that zombie while I open this fucking door.” Kevin said, grimacing, tufts of wet hair plastered to his cheeks and forehead.

With one swift movement, Eve turned around, un-slung her shotgun and opened fire. As light was spilling in from the opening door, she could see half of the zombie’s head tear off clean, the rest of it landing somewhere with a huge splat!. The thing collapsed in front of her like a sack of bricks, coagulated blood oozing out of its head—or what remained of it—and she shrunk back, gasping in terror.

“God damn!! Take that, you fucking door!” Kevin shouted triumphantly. The door was finally open.

“Oh thank God!!” said Eve, wiping beads of sweat off her forehead.

They both darted out into the crisp mid-afternoon air, turning right towards Main Avenue, relieved that once again they avoided a dire fate.


On the night of September 3rd, the couple was cooped up in a farmhouse just east of the small town St. Ann, Pennsylvania.

“Kev, do you really think there are other survivors out there? I mean, we haven’t found a single soul with his wits still intact since this whole mess started? And I — ”

“Of course there’s other people hun” Kevin interrupted, “ Remember those screams we heard in that town…whatchamacallit….Tempest I think? And I swear I saw curtains from houses twitch more than once. I’m sure there’s other folk around babe” Kevin said, and put his hands over Eve’s. The kitchen was a horror show of their dancing shadows, courtesy of the flickering light of a Coleman lantern.

“I sure do hope so sweetie”. She looked out the kitchen window “I’m getting tired of wandering from place to place, afraid of what might be lurking around the corner. It’s funny, Kev, since I was a little girl I’ve always wanted to walk across the country and go on hiking trips, but never imagined it would be like…you know…like this”

“I know, babe, I know”. Kevin took a sip of his coffee “I used to go hiking with my dad, too. But, at any rate, don’t worry your pretty little head off. The CDC is our best chance for finding people who can come up with a cure for this thing, if there are still people down there. If that plan bombs, then we’ll go west, hop on a plane and fly to a remote island and build up a community there”.

Eve looked at him, her eyes damp orbs. “I love you” she said, choking back tears.

“Well, that escalated quickly!” Kevin said, and grinned. That’s my girl! He got up and led her into the living room.

Kevin very much liked the cozy and intimate vibe of this room. At the far corner, overlooking the room, was a wonderful cobblestone fireplace. On its shelf stood ornamental plates, photos of people, and nestled in between them, an hourglass. Its partner in crime, the mighty Grandfather clock standing a few feet to the left, was ticking away the hours and days. In the middle was a long coffee table, surrounded by majestic Victorian-style carved wooden chairs and a linen sofa, waiting patiently for their next occupants. A soft grey rug draped over a chafed hardwood floor, a mahogany bookshelf, a decorative armor, and flowery wallpaper completed the picture. Lighted Candles on every surface gave the room a surreal touch, as if one were attending a cult sacrificial ritual.

“Let’s dance our butt off tonight! I’m in a good mood!” Kevin said cheekily, as he lead Eve into the open space of the living room.

Eve laughed. “Yeah but there’s no music silly!” she teased.

“Who needs music when we have vocal cords! Start singing!” Kevin said, twirling her around and around, her hair gently stroking his arms as he uttered the opening lines of Love don’t let me go! with a smirk on his face. It had been weeks since he felt this good. He supposed the shower he took today — this was the first house they’d found that still had running water — had something to do with his chipper mood. They’d been taking baths in creeks and rivers all this time, naturally, but it just wasn’t the same. You just couldn’t enjoy a proper bath in nature’s arteries given that, at any moment, a swarm of those smelly, undead creatures could rustle their way out of a bush or a shrub, coming at you with a chip on their shoulder, uttering their guttural non-sense. Nothing could beat the shower head’s steady stream of warm, steamy water massaging your body, washing away yesterday’s sweat and worries. And Eve, in particular, looked beautiful tonight. She was wearing a white tank and blue jeans, her silky blonde hair accentuating her pale, milky complexion. Tattooed on her arms were a few scratches—not zombie scratches, thank God— that graduated her into the ranks of a warrior. Upon meeting her, the first thing you would notice is how those stormy blue eyes peered into your soul, making you a little excited. Then, if you were a man, you’d find your eyes wandering down to the soft swells of her breasts and you’d feel your jeans tighten, wondering what she’d look like under the moonlight, without any clothes, beckoning you with a naughty finger.

They danced and danced. Their musical accompaniment were their voices and the crickets chirping outside.

“Gotta use the bathroom, babe” Kevin said, and halted.

“Aww, make it quick hun! And when you get back, I’m gonna show you another type of dance” Eve said. She nodded her head toward the sofa and looked back at him, starry-eyed. She was ready.

“I think this is gonna be the quickest piss I’ve ever taken” said Kevin, letting go of her hands. With mad anticipation, he rushed up the stairs to the 2nd floor, almost tripping on a toy fire truck in the hallway, and went into the bathroom. He was still whistling Love don’t let me go as he peed into the toilet, his pelvis gyrating, making his pee go around and around in a circle. I’m gonna get it on,yeah!. When he finished painting patterns in the toilet bowl with his pee-brush, he flushed and looked into the mirror. A handsome, black-haired bloke stared back at him, and Kevin noticed the nice suntan developing on his face. Today, he wasn’t just assuring his girlfriend that they would find other people, he felt it. Sure, the screams they’d heard throughout the towns they passed through weren’t coming from those dead these, but he had feared those poor souls would perish, along with his hopes of building a new civilization. Soon, he thought, some friendly fellow would come along, a messenger of a much larger group, and would shake their hands excitedly and invite them to join his group. He would bes —

A scream that could chill charcoal startled him out his daze. It came from downstairs. A woman’s scream.

A dagger of fear sliced through Kevin’s chest. “Hey babe!!what’s wrong?!” He shouted.

The scream repeated, this time more muffled and choppy. Kevin rushed out of the bathroom, his pulse accelerating. “What the hell’s goin on?Babe?” he cried as he swooshed into the living room.

He couldn’t believe what he saw. The decorative armor had somehow sprung to life and was attacking Eve, growling, his hands raking at Eve’s neck for purchase, while she struggled to keep him away, screaming.

Kevin rushed over to the coffee table where the shotgun was, grabbed it, and opened fire. A big hole appeared on the thing’s forehead, coagulated blood splattering on the floor and couch, and the armor collapsed on the floor with a clang! half in and half out of the fireplace.

“Babe are you ok?!please, God, tell me that — oh God you’re bleading! I’ll be right back, I’m gettin some paper towels and dissenfectant!” Kevin said shakily, and went stormed out of the room.

When he came back, out of breath, he was holding a bottle of iodine, alcohol, big band-aids, cotton and a roll of paper towel. Eve was leaning against the back of the sofa, crying and pressing her hand hard against the wound on her neck to stop the bleeding.

“I’m sorry Kev, I was taking off my shoes when…when” her voice trailed off, and she sobbed uncontrollably. When she seemed to regain her composure she continued “that thing just came to life and…and…he was so fast and quiet…I couldn’t—”

“Shhh…calm down babe, everything’s gonna be all right, it’s over now” Kevin said as he was disinfecting the wound. He didn’t truly believe what he just said, the ‘everything’s gonna be alright’ part in particular, for the dreariness he had felt the previous days came back like a boomerang, came back with a vengeance, the same way an old loan shark comes back, demanding his money whilst two smelly goons clamped you by the sides, enabling said shark to punch you repeatedly in the stomach.

“Am I, am I gonna turn into….you know” she trailed off, not wanting to say the words.

“Don’t even think about it babe, you’ll be fine, this disinfectant will do the trick. Just don’t move your head so I can clean it off real well” Kevin said, trying as hard as possible to hide is worry.

When he finished patching up Eve, he carried her up to the master bedroom upstairs.

Kevin didn’t know how many hours passed. The disease had spread throughout her body much faster than he anticipated. She would go into fits of delirium, interspersed with brief periods of lucid consciousness and deep sleep. In her deliriums, Kevin would take on the role of her mother, her sister, her lousy step-dad, sometimes even all of them at the same time, and she would go into heavy, foul-languaged temper tantrums that put sailors to shame. Ocassionally, Kevin would wash her face with a damp cloth, as she was burning up.

“Kev, whe-where are we? I’m not fee-feeling too good? Where’s Olivia” Eve said with a weak voice. Her clothes were soaked with sweat and she was radiating heat like an oven.

“She’s coming, sweetheart. We’re on the rollercoaster, we’re waiting for her to come.” he said as he stroked her hair lightly, teary-eyed. He didn’t know what else to say.

“Who? Olivia? She’s sca-scared to death of ro-rollercoasters. She’d rather give…” she broke off, went into a coughing fit, then continued “she’d rather give a speech in front of thousands, as much as she-she ha-hated those too, than get on…get on… a rollercoaster”

“Livvie told me that—”

Eve suddenly grabbed his arm, and with a momentary glint of sanity in her eyes she said “Kevin…I want to know that…it wasn’t your fault…after I’m dead, you know what to do”

“Babe…you’re talking non-sense you wo—”

“Just promise me you’ll do it!” she yelled, with all the strength she had left, and went into another series of coughs, this time more raspier ones.

“I promise” he said, defeated, lowering his eyes from Eve to his thumb-twiddling hands.

“Good”. Even now, amidst her pain and scorching fever, it felt good to win her nth argument with Kev.

Eve then went in another fit of delirium—her last one. She trailed off, for the last time, coughed her final coughs, and issued her last breath.

Kevin checked her pulse, then kissed her sweat-greased forehead, the one he had kissed so many times before. “Goodbye, my love” he said, tears streaming down his face, and looked into her glazed eyes for the final time before gently closing them with a shaky palm.

“Goodbye, my love” he repeated.


On the day of October 5th, a light drizzle, spat out by menacing clouds that were floating by faster than the speed of light, was dampening most parts of western Indiana.

Kevin was trudging somewhere along interstate 152, on the outskirts of a little town in Indiana called Ann Arbour, unmindful of the drizzle falling around him. He had lost a few pounds since the dreadful night his girlfriend died, and was now sporting a scruffy beard. For the past few weeks, he had been walking from sunrise to sunset, taking brief lunch and dinner breaks in zombie-infested diners and supermarkets, despite his better judgement, which seemed to be gagged and shoved into a dark place. During nights he would sleep in houses, or at least try to—sleep seemed like a relic of the past, too—and those glazed blue eyes would come back to haunt him. Those accusatory eyes. Every night, like clockwork.

Kevin reached into his battered and wet knapsack and brought out a tweenkie. Ah, the breakfast of Champions! He opened the package and stuffed the tweenkie into his mouth, and he suddenly remembered a strange quote his high school sociology teacher would say: ‘It’s easier to fool 1000 people than to fool one’. Sure. And the equivalent quote in this strange world is: ‘It’s easier to dodge 1000 zombies than prevent getting chopped up by a single one, one wearing an armor suit no else’.

He threw back his head and laughed, chunks of tweenkie flying out of his mouth. It was a cold, detached laugh, and it lingered in the air longer than it should have.

The drizzle died down a little, and Kevin stopped. Up ahead, a traffic jam cut off interstate 152 in two. A large BP truck had toppled over, sending the myriad of cars that had crashed behind it up in flames. Once more, against his better judgement, Kevin pressed forward.

He slowly walked on the gravel shoulder past blackened cars, mausoleums of an ancient civilization. About halfway through, he saw three zombies feasting on a carcass in the woods.

“Pay no attention to moi, soldiers. I don’t taste good” he whispered as he tip-toed past the trio.

The three zombies looked in his direction, slowly got to their feet and were shuffling towards him, growling. Ah crap, do these things have superhuman hearing as well?

The three zombies were the tip of the iceberg though, as more zombies had caught a whiff of fresh meat and were shuffling towards him, some of them coming out of the cars, some of them from the shrubs in the woods and some from the front of the car spill.

“Holy shit!” Kevin said and opened fire. Zombies were falling like sacks of bricks , , but many more were closing in on him.

“There’s one bullet left, that’s all I need.” he said, his back up against a red Honda.

Tears streaming down his face, he slid the revolver’s muzzle in his mouth.


A hole appeared in one of the zombie’s forehead, and he pushed it with all his strength. The zombie flew back, toppling other ones behind it like dominoes, and a temporary rift appeared in the sea of zombies. Without thinking twice, Kevin zipped through it, barely making it out, as zombie hands clutched and tore off parts of his shirt and pants.

“I ain’t dead yet, motherfuckers!!” he screamed at the top of his lungs, panting harshly. He was now a safe distance between the sea of zombies.

As he looked ahead on interstate 152, he saw the twinkle of chrome approaching. Is that a live person?

For the first time in weeks, he saw the clouds in the sky break up and sweet sunshine making its way down on the land.

Harper J. Cole
May 29th, 2015, 12:29 PM
I liked the descriptive passages, particularly the paragraph beginning with "Kevin very much liked the cozy and intimate vibe of this room."

I did feel the characters acted in a rather blase manner in the house, though (would they risk singing when there might be zombies around?), and I would have thought that the armoured zombie would attack them straight away, as zombies aren't usually portrayed as having the brains to wait their moment.

I appreciated the upbeat ending, though. :thumbr:


May 30th, 2015, 06:42 PM
Hi! Thank you for the feedback!

In my mind, the characters were cheerful because they had cleared the house of all zombies and found no zombies in the surrounding areas, but I failed to put in that info...or I'll just have them tone it down a bit. And about the zombie...it was a little dubious but I put that in there because it felt like a good idea at the time.I'll probably to make it more plausible or just put in another idea!Glad you liked the descriptions!