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Kevin
May 21st, 2015, 05:47 PM
“What the hell?! You—!”

“Whoah—get out of the way, Fatso!”

“You’re an asshole!”

“You’re going to yell at me for that? She’s a Slow-walker. ‘What the hell’, back. Thanks, but you’re still alive, aren’t you? Look back there.”

“I can’t see anything.”

“That’s because the building’s down—Godzilla took it down… right after we went through the intersection. That cloud, it’s called a debris-cloud. And that would have been us, crushed under it, just like Fat-Thighs.”

“You don’t need to call her that. “

“I wouldn’t, except she can’t hear me—her fat thighs kept her from getting out of the way of Godzilla.”

“It’s not a ‘Godzilla.’”

“’Space-monster, one of many that invaded 20 years-ago, and now plague the Earth.’- looks like a Godzilla to me. ‘We would have been dead’. Go ahead… you can say it.”

“You almost hit her.”

“She was trying to kill us. By walking so slow, she was trying to kill us.”

“You’re still an asshole.”

"You're welcome."

TJ Shortt
May 26th, 2015, 07:34 PM
Interesting conversation happening here. Would love to see some more detail.

hypocritter
May 27th, 2015, 10:04 PM
Lol,little humorous road rage,actually sounds a lot like my old dad.

DeadMaster
May 28th, 2015, 06:34 AM
Heh.. A little bit funny, not much.

JellyTrigger
June 12th, 2015, 05:53 PM
“What the hell?! You—!”

“Whoah—get out of the way, Fatso!”

“You’re an asshole!”

“You’re going to yell at me for that? She’s a Slow-walker. ‘What the hell’, back. Thanks, but you’re still alive, aren’t you? Look back there.”

“I can’t see anything.”

“That’s because the building’s down—Godzilla took it down… right after we went through the intersection. That cloud, it’s called a debris-cloud. And that would have been us, crushed under it, just like Fat-Thighs.”

“You don’t need to call her that. “

“I wouldn’t, except she can’t hear me—her fat thighs kept her from getting out of the way of Godzilla.”

“It’s not a ‘Godzilla.’”

“’Space-monster, one of many that invaded 20 years-ago, and now plague the Earth.’- looks like a Godzilla to me. ‘We would have been dead’. Go ahead… you can say it.”

“You almost hit her.”

“She was trying to kill us. By walking so slow, she was trying to kill us.”

“You’re still an asshole.”

"You're welcome."

Dear Kevin,

I found your small conversation very amusing. I don't want to seem like a mean guy to anyone, but making fun of ol'thunder thighs was very funny. This reminds of the conversations my best friend and I have on a daily basis (He's the mean one I swear!). We tend to share an abnormally crude humor. Also, I had no idea where Godzilla came from, but I enjoyed his company inside this story as well.

All and all, it was a fun teaser. Hope to read more from you soon!

Sincerely,
Christian Rodriguez
The Newbie Writer

troughs
July 2nd, 2015, 01:25 PM
The punctuation seems to be all over the place. I also agree with DeadMaster - this is not incredibly funny. The focus of the humour appears to be the sheer size of their deceased friend rather than the dialogue or the relationship between the characters. This doesn't work because the piece is composed entirely from dialogue, and we know nothing about the fat character outside of this context. The characters come off as unnecessarily mean, to no real purpose.