View Full Version : Delivery for Miss Jones - 4176 words

May 1st, 2015, 07:28 AM
My parents have finally started talking to me again. They were really hurt when I left town three years ago, out of the blue. Things have been tough at times since and sometimes I look at my daughter Grace and wonder what sort of a father I am; still I know that no matter what happens it was worth it, even if it was wrong.

Looking back I always knew that year 12 was never going to be very successful for me. I had no plans on going to uni and really school was just a chance to hang around with my mates and cause trouble, I was not a bad kid, I just lacked any sort of focus or desire to be at school. My parents were always going on about how I really should stick it out and get my leaving certificate, I am sure they only wanted the best for me but school sucked. I spent ages trying to find a way to not go back after year 11 but in the end I gave up and said I would, it made my parents happy and life at home more bearable. My parents and I did disagree about my subject choices as I picked the easiest subjects I could but I still had to do the core subjects get my leaving certificate. I was not looking forward to going back to school and all that involved, being treated like a kid again.

My part time job at the IGA supermarket was a good escape from school and my parents. Over the Christmas holidays I had started to work full time, this had given me enough extra money to buy myself a car and keep it fuelled up. Having finally turned 18 just after New Year’s, I also needed to now work enough to buy grog. My parents did not like me drinking in the house with the other kids around so I mostly went to the only pub in town or around to a mate’s place, sometimes I would not go home for a few days at a time. They worried about me but being 18 years old at the time I thought I knew everything.

I was working most days at the IGA and then out drinking somewhere of a night time. Life was good. Rolling in to work on a Monday morning after a big weekend, a couple of weeks before school was going back I was half thinking about sticking school and asking the store owner if I could keep working full time, he seemed happy with my work and I was loving the relaxed lifestyle of working and drinking.

Since I was now 18 and had a car, most of my days were spent out doing deliveries, it was something the owner Mr Lee had done for a long time himself but of late, he had been getting me to do them. I didn’t mind as it gave me a chance to drive my car which I loved, it was going to be a scorcher that day so spending the day out driving with the A/C going sounded good to me. While I was loading up the car with the morning run to the regular customers, at the last minute Mr Lee gave me another box for an address on West Arm Rd, with a note to go after 12:30pm. The morning run was the same as every other day, everybody was happy to see me and by 12:30pm I had only the last box to deliver. The address was not one I had been to before and the last I had heard that place had been empty for quite a while, somebody must have finally moved in.

Pulling up in the driveway of 15 West Arm Rd, I noticed a very nice looking XR6 Falcon near the side of the house, whoever lived here at least had a decent car and it made my old VP commodore look even worse than normal. Grabbing the box of groceries from the back of my car, I could not help but take a second to admire the XR6 as I walked past; I really liked that model and hoped that one day I would be able to afford something like that. I stopped to get a better look at the nice mags when I heard somebody yell out “Hi, you must be the grocery man”. Looking up at her standing at the front door the only word that even came close to describing her is stunning.

The first thing I noticed was her blonde hair (I always had a thing for blonde-haired women) next the rest of her came in to focus. Standing there looking like a right dickhead the only thing I could manage to say was “nice car”.

“Well I am glad you like it, do you want to bring the box inside for me?” she replied as she turned and walked back in the front door. I followed her in and straight away, my eyes were fixed on her cute little arse wiggling side to side as she walked. I guessed she would have been in her mid 20’s, still young enough. It was at this point I noticed her left leg looked very weird; it was a prosthetic leg below the knee. I could tell this as it was rainbow coloured and I could see the fake ankle joint just above her socks. I really tried hard not to stare but it was the sort of thing that really stood and was hard to take your eyes off. I didn’t want to be rude and say anything about it.

I put the box of groceries down on the kitchen bench, I could see she has only just moved in, boxes were stacked up high and she had quite a mess of pots and pans on the kitchen floor. She walked up beside me and brushed my arm as she headed towards the fridge.

She almost caught me starring at her leg as she turned back around,
“You look hot, would you like a drink?” she asked me, while holding a can of coke in each hand. She invited me to sit down at the table; she pulled up a chair beside me and introduced herself as Bree Jones. We chatted for a while about the normal stuff, she was really keen to hear about the town, places to hang out and places to avoid. When we got on to the footy she really shocked me as she was quite a big Crows fan and we chatted about them for quite a while, she thought they had a chance of making the top 8 that year, sadly she was wrong and they finished 12th. I was still not sure how to ask about what happened to her leg so I didn’t say anything about it.

When I asked what brought her to our small out of the way town she told me that she was meant to be half way to England by now with her husband, living the dream they both had to travel they had been saving up for, but plans changed when he got caught shagging his personal trainer. She ended up packing her things and leaving him. After looking around, she saw the job advertised for the new relief teacher at the high school and being a small school in the middle of nowhere the school was happy to give her the job. For some reason I did not say anything about being a student, if that was to seem older or what I do not really know. I guess at that stage I was really considering not going back to school so in my mind at least I was not a student, technically.

It was almost an hour later when I thought that maybe I should go back to work, I really enjoyed talking to Bree but didn’t want to get in trouble with Mr Lee for slacking off. As I left Bree said she was really glad to have met me and she hoped to see me around town, she had not really met anybody else yet. The rest of the afternoon dragged on and I could not get Bree out of my head.

Just before closing for the day, Mr Lee got a phone call from Bree out on West Arm Rd. She had forgotten to order some light bulbs and really needed them before it got dark that night, he said he could put them in an order for tomorrow but he was just about to close and all the staff were about to leave. Hearing this I told him I was happy to drop them off on my way home that night, it was on the way and in my own mind I would be happy to see Bree again.

Driving out towards Bree’s house I decided to stop at the pub and grab some grog, she seemed like a typical chick drink drinker so I got a six-pack of beer for me and some colourful fruit drinks for her.
My nerves were going all over the place and I almost missed the turn off to her place but saw it at the last second. As I pulled up behind her car in the drive way, this time I did not waste any time admiring it, I knew what was inside the house was even better looking.

I knocked on the screen door and yelled out.
“I have your light bulbs”
Bree yelled back
“Come in, I will be with you in a second”
I went in to the kitchen and put the light globes on the bench. Bree walked in to the kitchen looking quite hot and worn out, she thanked me for dropping off the light bulbs and then we had an awkward silence. Just as I was about to leaving she asked me if I would mind helping her for a couple of minutes, she was trying to put her bed together and it was hard with one person trying to get all the pieces in the right place. Not having any plans for the night, I said I was happy too.

Getting the bed together was much easier with two people and soon it was all together. Next, we tackled the bedside tables, the tall boy, then the couch needed to be moved and before long, it was getting dark. We crashed out on the couch and Bree said she could kill for a drink but had not had time to go to the bottle shop. When I told her I had some grog in my car she starting smiling, I dashed out to the car to grab it. I offered her one of the chick drinks but instead she grabbed a beer, my kind of girl.

We sat back on the couch and both knocked off the first beer in quick time. Talking and drinking we found we had a lot in common. We both came from large families but in her case, she had lost touch with most of her family as she moved to the city to go to uni and then when she moved back home it all felt different and she could not stand it. She was on the next bus back to the city and that is when she met her boyfriend who became her husband, what a mistake he turned out to be. Her family didn’t like him at all and after a while she stopped going to see them, next the phones calls stopped and soon it had been a 6 years since she had heard from them. She has tried to call them a few times but the phone just rang out every time. In the end she drove out to see them only to find the farm had been sold and nobody knew where they had moved too. Thinking to myself that puts my maths right off and she must be closer to 30 years old.

The topic of her prosthetic leg had not come up to this point and I was not really sure how to raise it, this problem was resolved a few minutes later when Bree went to stand up and let out a little moan.
“My bloody leg is hurting again, they still can’t get it to sit right in the cradle” she said, moving backwards a little to get her balance.
“So what happened to your leg? I didn’t want to ask before” I said while trying to not make it in to a big deal.
“Well the short version is that I hurt it when I was a teenager on the farm, I was opening a gate and didn’t put the brakes on the tractor properly and it rolled over me and crushed my leg. As I was out in one of the back paddocks it was ages before anybody found me. I was very lucky to not die. The doctors did all they could and I spent ages in hospital but the damage was too much so in the end they had to remove it. I used to be fairly active with swimming and running, I still can to some extent with my prosthetic leg but the pain in the joint does make it hard at times. I try to not let it rule my life and I don’t wear it all the time, around home quite often I just use crutches to give it a break. Recently I had to have the top cup replaced and the new one is not as comfortable until I wear it in. She said, at this point she took it off and tried to adjust it before putting it back on. It was a weird sort of feeling seeing her do this.

Our conversation returned to how lucky Bree was for this job to come up when it did and the timing was perfect for her. When Bree started to ask questions about me and my family I gave her very short answers and then asked her more about herself, at this stage I didn’t want to give too much away about myself and my family.

As I stood up to grab us each the last beers she grabbed me and pulled me towards her, our lips met and it felt bloody amazing, even for an older chick she was still quite a tidy unit. The first thing I noticed was that her lip gloss was strawberry flavour. Her lips felt some smooth and full, I had always done all right for myself with the girls but this was different, she was a real woman. Our passionate embrace continued and I did not want it to ever stop. Soon our hands were exploring each other’s body, the feel of her skin sent shivers down my spine, the smell of her hair and her hands touching my skin under my t-shirt had got me going. The night ended well for both of us.

Driving home in the early hours of the morning, I needed to keep my eyes and mind on the road as it was full of animals, this was hard as I had a million thoughts racing in my mind, if I do go back to school will that change things? Should I tell her I am really a student? What if she finds out before I can tell her? What if other people or the school find out and she gets sacked? Deciding to sleep on it I headed to bed as soon as I got home, I was careful to not make any noise and wake the rest of the house up. I could not stand 20 questions at that time of night from my parents.

The morning came all too quickly and arriving at work right on time my mind was again filled with thoughts of Bree, what had happened last night and how I was going to tell her I was really a student. At one point during the day I jumped on Facebook on my phone to see if I could find Bree, she had a profile but most of her details were hidden, given she was a teacher I guess she didn’t want students (like me) looking her up. The day dragged on and by 4pm Mr Lee told me to head off home. Leaving work to head to Bree’s place I still had a lot on my mind but I knew I really had to tell her the truth; it was not fair to lead her on like this.

When I arrived at the front door I knocked and she came out looking quite upset, she just looked at me and then walked back towards the kitchen, I followed her and thought that maybe she was having regrets’ about last night. Spread out on the kitchen table was a lot of text books and notes, when I noticed that I was on top of one of the piles I almost fainted on the spot.

Bree looked at me and said only two words, two words that made my heart sink. “I know” and my whole world collapsed. On the top of the pile of papers was my school profile, this has my name, age, address, all my school information and worst of all a photo of me. “I went in to the school today to pick up some books and setup my office, how shocked was I when I was given the student profiles and on the top of the pile I saw you” she said with tears swelling up in her eyes. “You know we can’t let anybody ever find out about what happened last night, I would lose my job” she added, as if I was going to tell anybody. We sat down and worked out a plan, nobody could ever find out about us and we were to both forget about last night and that it ever happened. I was so devastated by this; I knew that I would have trouble forgetting out her, especially as the chances were that I would see her at school all the time.

The last few weeks of the holidays passed and we didn’t see each other at all, I still kept thinking of Bree but I knew nothing else could ever happen between us. School went back and we pretended to not know each other, thankfully Bree didn’t have me in any of her classes after I decided to change out of her computing class in to wood work, I did that to make it easier for both of us. Fate hit us again when I was caught playing up in history and sent for a detention that afternoon, walking in to the detention room at 3:05pm I was shocked and a little surprised to see Bree sitting behind the desk, I was the only student for detention that afternoon and clearly she was uncomfortable with us being alone in the room together. She told me to take out my book and read, over the top of the book I kept sneaking looks at her, geez she was looking good today. After a while she saw me and asked “What are you doing?” which I replied that I was just looking at the most amazing woman in the world, she told me to stop being silly and keep reading my book.

The floor squeaked as Bree walked towards me sitting behind the desk, she stopped an inch away from me, so close I could smell her and I reached out to kiss her. I froze, not knowing what to do. I sat and just looked at her, our eyes locked, what was happening? I leaned forward and our lips met, our tongues started to explore each other’s mouths, this felt really good. We heard footsteps and the classroom door start to open; she quickly steeped away. The cleaner entered; thankfully he had been looking the other way. I went back to reading my book, feeling more confused than ever. I sat in silence, a million thoughts racing around in my head. The clock ticked over 4pm; finally it was time to leave. Again she told me nobody could ever find out about us and we were to both forget about this. Why was she doing this to me, using me and then regretting it?

She must have been making a point of trying to avoid me because for the next three weeks I didn’t see her once; it was like she had disappeared. I knew she was still around as some of my mates were in her classes, they kept talking about her and how hot she was, I really had to try hard to not say anything. If only they knew the truth about me and her.

Sitting in the maths classroom on a Friday afternoon for the last lesson for the week I was shocked to see Bree walk in and asked Mr Lennon is she could talk to me outside. I followed her outside and once we were near the picnic tables she sat down and said “I am leaving today, I thought I should tell you. I am pregnant and don’t know what I am going to do. I am leaving as it is the best for both of us, I don’t want to ruin your life too”. I think I almost fainted at this point; I sat down and tried to gather my composure.

As she walked away from me I could hear her crying, I kept thinking that while this was a big mess and clearly she was being the adult and looking out for me, she was carrying my child. My tears flowed freely but I had to pull myself together and get back to class.

The short walk from the picnic tables back to the class room was the hardest and longest of my life, I had so many thoughts rushing around in my head. I was torn between her and the rest of my life here in this small town, what sort of life would I have if I stayed? What if I left? Until this point I had never had to make any major decisions and those I had my parents had helped me with, this was not something I could talk to them about, they would hit the roof.

I was almost back to the classroom door when it hit me, I grabbed my bag from the classroom and left, stuff school and everything to do with it; Bree was worth it. I ran towards the car park and out the drive way, just as she was about to turn on to the main road I jumped in front of her car, when she stopped quickly so she didn’t hit me I jumped in and told her I wanted to go with her.

Smiling, we kissed and I told her to head towards my place. She parked up the road from my parents place while l ducked inside, grabbed what I could fit in a couple of bags, including some cash I knew mum had hidden away and with that we were off. As we drove past the welcome to town sign I looked back and decided no matter what might happen we would always have each other.

Not long after we moved in to our little unit the police showed up, my parents had reported me as missing. Thankfully Bree was not showing by this point so they said they would get the local copper back at home to let them know I was safe but that they would not disclose my location.

That was 3 years ago, now Bree is working part time teaching at a nice little school and looking after Grace while I manage the local IGA, somehow we have managed to make it work. A couple of weeks ago I saw one of my old mates from school in the store, what he was doing 1200km away from home I don’t know, he told me that my parents really missed me and that I should call them. I talked to Bree and she agreed, a couple of days later my parents turned up and for the past few days they have been staying with us and getting to know little Grace. We sat them down last night and told them the whole truth; they were shocked at first but can see how much we love each other and Grace. It seems that a few rumours had been going around town about us back then and when we both left on the same day a few people sort of worked out what was happening.

Time might not heal all wounds and I know “technically” we did the wrong thing but we have had such an amazing life together. Sometimes doing the wrong thing is the best thing you can do.

Olly Buckle
May 1st, 2015, 10:02 AM
My impression is that this needs a good edit totighten everything up and quicken the pace a little
Look, this is pretty well a random sentence I picked out
Looking back I always knew that year 12 was never going to be very successful for me
In retrospect I was never going to have a good year twelve.
Probably not how you would do it, but it knocks about a third off, and it really is not the most important sentence for the story line.

A good start would be all the places where there is an extra word in there qualifying things

When we got on to the footy she really shocked me as she was quite a big Crows fan and we chatted about them for quite a while,
We got on to the footy, she shocked me as she was a big Crows fan, and we chatted about them for a while
Then you think 'How much is important information for the story

We got on to the footy I was shocked by her knowledge and we chatted about it for a while

That makes it clear that 'shocked' is a bit overdoing it, 'surprised' ? My point is this is all 'incidental filler', not the main story. It is necessary, but needs to be kept brief if you are going to hold the reader's attention.

May 3rd, 2015, 09:56 PM
I agree with above regarding tightening the story up - i tend to do the same thing and am trying to work on overcoming the habit. that said, i like the style it was written in. it's engaging and readable. keep it up!

May 4th, 2015, 06:34 PM
I enjoyed that, keeping it PG was a nice touch.
Most stories of this theme end in arrest or something bad, it turned out really nice, a feel good!

Tightening up is a good idea as said above, no big changes just tuning.

May 5th, 2015, 02:08 AM
Thanks for all the feedback, I will have a look at improving this based on your feedback.