View Full Version : Oscar Rat and Malodor Skunk Meet. Adult, 1,830

October 24th, 2014, 02:09 PM
"Please, Peuti. Can you keep those kids quiet? I have to study for a Geology test," Malodor Skunk begged her older sister.

Malodor shared a burrow with three sisters and four brothers, along with her father and mother. The five room space was also crowded with sister Peuti's six kids, including teenage Nancy Skunk.

She had to finish high school, Malodor thought, in order to get a good job and out of that crowded mess. Malodor didn't want to marry the first nice skunk boy she could find, then settle down in the same kind of burrow to have her own dozen kids.

Not all that personable or intelligent, poor Malodor suffered through high school, becoming a very nervous little stinker. Graduating fourth from the bottom of her class, she found herself with a diploma. Armed with that piece of paper, she set out looking for a job.

Malodor wondered what lay ahead. She was feeling even more insecure and depressed. And she had thought her diploma would make it easy. Weeks of searching around town produced no results. She was too small for loading trucks, looked too dangerous for clerking (many afraid of being sprayed). And couldn't type very well.

"Well, at least I'm old enough to buy a beer, she thought, stopping in at the "Ratskeller Bar" in the basement of a large apartment building (Mine and Oscar Rat's).

Tired from job hunting, Malodor anticipated sipping a cold brew in an air-conditioned setting. She relaxed in a back booth of the mostly empty dimly-lighted room, with tired feet up on the seat beside herself and feeling circulation return to sore legs.

Relaxed and half-asleep in the cool dimness, the tired young skunk barely noticed a large rat come in and sit at the bar.

"Hey, Mabel, where's all'a the action today," he yelled.

A particularly obnoxious young rodent, Malodor thought. She had seen a lot of rats like him in high school. Ugh, just what she needed, she told herself, a boring rat to interrupt her solitude.

"I love a little squirrel in the afternoon, you know, Mabel, honey," the evil but really good-looking creature called to the bartender while scratching his butt. "How 'bout you and me, baby, getting together later? Say what, babe?"

"Only in your dreams, Oscar. Only in your pathetic wet dreams." Mabel made a point of crossing to the other end of the bar to wash glasses.

Malodor, keeping an eye on that rat, went up to the bar for another drink.

"Can I have another beer, please, uh ... Mabel?" she asked politely.

"Sure, honey." Mabel grabbed a fresh glass. "And what's a girl like you doing in a place like this?" she asked with a warm smile.

Malodor sighed while watching the rodent out of a corner of her eye. She hoped the guy would leave her alone. If not, she could always try out her skunk-fuey moves.

"Job hunting," Malodor replied, taking the beer and settling onto a stool in front of the bar. "It's so hard to find a job."

"Tell you what, honey. Maybe you could work here? One of our bartenders is leaving next week and Mr. Raccoon hasn't got anybody to take her place yet. You're certainly pretty enough to draw in customers. If you can take it, that is." Mabel nodded toward Oscar.

Taking his cue from the nod, Oscar grinned and came over to take the stool next to Malodor.

"Hi there, beautiful." he smiled, receiving two dirty looks in return. "How's about tanglin' a little crotch fur?"

Malodor half-turned. Pretending clumsiness, she knocked her cold beer over, splashing it down on his furry privates.

"Eyipppp!" Oscar jerked back and grabbed himself.

"Sorry, mister." She stood suddenly. Being larger and with one foot behind his stool, she pushed. The wet rat fell over onto his back, stool and all, while the two girls laughed at his plight.

While getting up and brushing beer off his fur, Oscar noticed her raised tail.

"Okay, okay. Sorry girls. I have'ta get on home. See ya' later, Mabel baby." Oscar hurried out the door.

"That was a nice move. I've always wanted to do that to the rat." Mabel laughed.


Oscar found himself in a daze, even pushing the wrong elevator button as he made his way upstairs to an empty apartment. Here he was, trying to celebrate a new job. Even finding the skunk of his dreams to help him, and he screwed it all up. He didn't know why.

The rodent hookers he normally frequented seemed to like him. Why didn't the nice girls? After all, he tried to be a gentlerat. Oscar aimed hard for that gentle Mike Hammer attitude. What more could a guy do? Why, he almost never jumped their bones at first sight -- like he used to.

And here he had even received his first paycheck from the Rat Archives. Now he could be certain of paying his rent on time. All he had to do was what he did best, write stories for the Archives. The venerable Rat Archives consisted of a complete history of Ratkind, from long before human oafs had fallen out of trees and were too stupid to climb back up. At least he could dream.

"Since I can't cash my paycheck until tomorrow," Oscar told himself, "I better sneak into Charlie's place for one last meal."

He went through a rathole in his apartment, scurried through the space between walls until he came to my apartment and, sticking his head in to make certain nobody was home, scampered inside.

"Ah, sausage pizza," Oscar whimpered happily, looking in the refrigerator, "and cold beer."

The pizza went in a microwave, two beers to the bedside table.

Finished, he carefully gathered his crumbs to shove under the pillow and hid empty beer cans under the mattress. He then turned off the television and left. He hadn't paid much attention to the movie, what with thinking of that nice-looking skunk girl.


"All right, Malodor, you have the job, starting tomorrow morning at ten," Mr. Raccoon told her. "At first, all you have to do is open beer and help clean. The morning bartender, Harry Hog, will teach you how to use the cash register and mix drinks.”

"Yeah, nicer clientele in the morning, Malodor. No obnoxious rats," Mabel told her with a wink. "That Oscar guy drinks himself to sleep every night and doesn't get up until late in the afternoon."

"What does he do for a living? Besides drive people away?" Malodor asked.

"Oscar's an unemployed writer, or at least thinks he is," Mr. Raccoon told Malodor. "If you think he's bad now, you should have seen him when he was selling mouse pornography door to door. He's gotten much better since he started writing for a living -- hardly ever plays with himself in public anymore."

They all laughed at poor Oscar, who was sitting with a saucer of my vodka at that time, eating a pizza I was saving for my own supper and thinking erotic but sad thoughts of Malodor herself.


Malodor threw herself into the job, trying to save enough money to move into town. She was caught by transportation costs back and forth to the job, as well as the need for at least a first-month's rent, plus deposit, in order to acquire a hard to find apartment. The real world was much more complicated than it had seemed while in high school.

As for Oscar, he kept himself busy writing, most of the day and far into the night. In the most part, for the first time in his writing career, he was working on love stories. They were all love stories involving female skunks with male rats. The curator at the Rat Archives had taken to complaining.

"Oscar, Oscar," he would say. "I know we've had cases of rats and skunks marrying, but not so damned many of them. Maybe you should try a few of rats and other animals, like other rats, for instance? You think you could do that?"

He had seen Malodor one morning when she came in for work. Waiting until she went into the back room to change into her apron, he slunk out of the bar, too shy to talk to her.

One morning, well plastered, the rat had taken a couple of his stories downstairs. Too embarrassed to go inside himself, he asked a mouse named Maurice to take them in to Malodor.

Two days later, he had a visit by Maurice "Mickey" Mouse. It was a thank you note, written in a flowery style. Oscar sniffed it, ecstatic with lust. Legs quaking, he thanked the mouse, quickly penning a note in return.

"Gi -- Give this to her. Please, Mickey?" he asked the mouse.

The note told her he would be waiting outside when she finished work to "Give you a good meal," and that he would be a well-behaved little rodent.

Malodor didn't know what to do. She was tired, but then he might have changed, or she might change him. After all, she was larger than him and knew skunk-fuey. There was no need to be afraid of the rat.


Oscar, not knowing when she would finish work, arrived early. Very early.

Malodor came out after work to see him sleeping peacefully in a hallway alcove. Oscar looked so defenseless lying on the dirty floor, and so sad, she thought.

Oscar raised one eyelid a crack. Seeing Malodor coming closer, he closed it again and groaned, "Ohhhhhh. Ohhhhh, I -- I can ... can't move. My arthritis," he lied -- easy for Oscar.

"Where does it hurt?" she asked, concerned with his welfare. "What can I do to help you?"

She held Oscar's head, petting his fur while he savored the occasion. Heart beating wildly, the rat could feel her fur on his.

"Ca -- Can you he -- help me upstairs, to -- to my apartment," he muttered, causing her to come closer to hear. It was all he could do to keep from reaching up for a kiss.

"Of course I can," she exclaimed, picking him up to carry to a nearby elevator. "What's the apartment number, you poor thing?"


The rest is history. That "poor" rat had raided my refrigerator and already had two twelve-inch pizzas ready. My only bottle of expensive wine had been appropriated for the occasion. It was to be the good meal he promised her. He even had candles and soft mouse opera playing.

Of course, she spent the night. And then the next night ... and then moved in -- partially to save money. A few weeks later, her sister Peuti asked if she would take care of Nancy for awhile which turned out to be permanent.

Within a few weeks, love had its way. They were married and officially adopted Nancy Skunk on the same day.

Charlie -- hvysmker, from interviewing Oscar and Malodor.