View Full Version : **Jimbag's Shrimping Adventures** 700w (Language, Adult Themes, Violence)

October 12th, 2014, 01:03 AM

October 12th, 2014, 01:16 AM
Rob, I really like it, might be one of my favorites. I used to work as a commercial fisherman in the early 80s I am amazed at how accurate your portrayal of your characters and fishing, impressive for being a land lubber.

October 12th, 2014, 03:21 PM
Heh.... thanks Bob. This was a whimsical little thing -- happy you found the shrimpin' aspects believable - the only thing I know about shrimp-boatin' is what I learned watching Forrest Gump twenty years ago. :)

Thanks for the kind words, matey.

October 13th, 2014, 05:29 AM
One thing I really liked about this story is that it seemed very vintage. It revived the classic literary theme of fisherman and the sea. It felt like Moby Dick, and arguably even greater because of the whimsical tone. In fact, the whimsical tone is what makes this story very intriguing and almost mysterious in a lighthearted way. I enjoyed it. I'd also mention that the description of fishing is surprisingly accurate, at least based on what I've learned from watching Deadliest Catch. My ONLY criticism is that I found the sentence structure and punctuation, particularly around the first few paragraphs, to be confusing and choppy at times. If this issue is fixed, it can flow a little greater IMHO. However, all in all, I really enjoyed the story and would like to read more stories that are similar. Dat whimsical-ness.

October 14th, 2014, 05:24 AM
That was an odd story. The ending came out of nowhere and just kind of slapped me in the face. I rather enjoyed it. Thanks for the read! :)

October 17th, 2014, 03:13 AM
I'm super glad you enjoyed it!

Mr. Blue
October 17th, 2014, 07:00 PM
That was incredibly enjoyable! I love the whimsical tone of the whole thing. Watch out for sentence fragments like this one:

The drama-fest that was commercial shrimping in 1995.

Really, if you just avoid trying to chop your sentences up too much, I wouldn't have anything to gripe about. This is a spectacular and vivid piece. I want to read more!