View Full Version : Growing up

October 2nd, 2014, 12:51 AM
Back for a moment at least. Thought I'd write a little something when I have the time. It's a small piece, hopefully summing up these last ten weeks or so. It might take a while to respond, though.

With a wispy smile the child runs across the empty green field. She turns back to her counterpart, gesturing her to come with, but, clad in camo, she shakes her head no. The child pouts and drops her hands, tears forming. The soldiers gives a comforting grin, shutting her eyes and relishing the moment before turning away. A low cry is heard behind her and then the pounding of small feet. In moments, a small hand intertwines with the soldiers. She squeezes her palm, looking up at the adult in front of her. Confidence sit right behind her eyes. Something unwavering. Something restrained, but ready. The child nods, accepting the truth. She wraps both hands around the soldiers palm and tightens her grip with the power of ten grueling weeks behind it.

"I'm ready," the child says.

The soldier glances down at the child. So young, innocent, and inexperienced.

"Then let's go," she says. With a step forward, her past behind her and experiences by her side, she walks her new path.

October 2nd, 2014, 12:55 AM
Rip nice story.... How is Basic? good to see you back even it is only in short bursts. Did you drop any time off your mile run now that you are working out all the time?

October 2nd, 2014, 01:07 AM
Thanks! Glad to be back. It wasn't that bad. Did have the hardest company and platoon, but now they're great. Glad I graduated finally. Well, I was the second fastest female in the company, but actually my two mile got worst as I progressed. I was one of three females in alpha running group

October 2nd, 2014, 01:09 AM
Looks like a good start to some different writing :-) With experience and your talent, you'll go a long way.

Great to hear form you,

October 2nd, 2014, 01:52 AM
Sorry, Rip, but you aren't getting a critique from me, all you are getting is a "Welcome back!" and a "Well done!" It's great to see you again, virtually speaking.

October 24th, 2014, 01:22 PM
Great story told in this, I like the flow of it. Very well done.

October 25th, 2014, 06:26 PM
Allow me to add my 2cents along with the other positive remarks. What I like is the vivid details. Seriously, who doesn't or hasn't known a little girl who behaved like this?

What I loved about this scene is that the soldier is a woman. This is rare even today. Most often the soldier is a man.

Congratulations on your achievements in the service. What branch are you in?

October 26th, 2014, 08:44 PM
Army- national guard. Thanks you guys! I wrote this on my family day while lounging in bed

October 26th, 2014, 08:57 PM
Army- national guard. Thanks you guys! I wrote this on my family day while lounging in bed

Well, lounge anytime, Rip! We love having you back when you can make it.