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CyberWar
October 1st, 2014, 04:50 PM
Everyone has heard of nerds. Almost everyone probably knows at least one nerd himself. A nerd is the guy who plays World of Warcraft on his laptop or discusses astrophysics with another nerd during a house party while everyone else around is busy getting drunk and making out with girls. It's the guy whose idea of hooking up with a girl revolves around giving her a detailed account of the last episode of Battlestar Galactica until the bored lass leaves with the first random jerk passing by just to get rid of him. It's the guy whose social life takes place in the teamchat of World of Warcraft, World of Tanks or some other comparable massively-multiplayer online game. A nerd is the guy who lives with his mother at the age of 30, is a virgin, and subsists on beer, potato chips and monitor radiation. A nerd is the guy who will spend his elderly days in a small apartment with 15 cats and piles of unpublished science fiction stories, the guy whose existence will only be taken interest in after months of unpaid rent, when the landlord finally breaks down the door and finds his mummified corpse in the bed, or more likely, next to the computer.

The stereotypical nerd is usually depicted as a scrawny pale youth with thick glasses suffering from acne and personal hygene problems, wears tight throusers and his grandpa's sweater, has considerable IT skills (read: is a computer addict), takes deep and passionate interest in subjects which are absolutely ezoteric to the majority of people, and lacks in interpersonal communication skills. While such people unquestionably exist, the majority of nerds tend to be very diverse, including people with attractive appearance and a good sense of style. The one thing that all nerds have in common is poor communication skills and deep interest in topics exotic to most.

Generally, nerds can be divided into several classes:

Professional nerds - the figurative ruling class of Nerd-dom. These nerds tend to be successful in life because of their talent, profound interest and extensive knowledge in one or several areas, such as IT or exact sciences. Their lack of communication skills is compensated by their complete devotion to learning and knowledge. This type of nerds tends to become famous scientists or inventors, and their celebrity status often conflicts with the essence of nerdiness.

Artistic nerds - the creative nerds whose specialty is art and humanitarian sciences. Usually, they passionately pursue artistic perfection in one branch or another. Given their poor communication skills and exquisite interests, their circle of friends is, typically for any nerds, usually limited to a few like-minded individuals. These nerds have the potential to become famous artists.

Ordinary nerds - the rank-and-file of Nerd-dom. These individuals do not usually occupy themselves with anything particularly useful and simply lack in social skills. To this group belong the 30-year-old mama's boys who make a living as administrators of gaming servers, folks who jerk off to hentai cartoons and people whose social life is restricted to gaming team-chats and social networks. This kind of nerds only become famous after literally living in an internet cafe for three years, dying of dehydration after a 72-hour non-stop gaming binge, or becoming serial killers who murder women to steal and sniff their panties. The most commonly encountered type of nerd, though not necessarily closest to the original stereotype.

Signs that you might also be a nerd:

1. Most of your friends have at least two digits or symbols in their name.
2. Your best friends are a dwarf, a paladin, an elven sorceress and a space marine from 27th century.
3. You have tried to hook up with a girl by giving her your IP address.
4. You don't have a girlfriend because you are a Level 64 paladin, and everybody knows such badasses aren't supposed to have any romantic interests.
5. You can spend several hours discussing the advantages of Enterprise-class starships over Venator-class star destroyers with a friend (usually the one who's a space marine from 27th century).
6. You are willing to get physical with anyone who states that Captain Spock is better than Captain Kirk.
7. You have seen all episodes of Star Trek and Battlestar Galactica. Twice.
8. Your sexual fantasies often feature blue-skinned and/or pointy-eared characters.
9. You have tried to seduce a girl by offering her a compliment in Klingon.
10. When it comes to languages, you can freely converse in Klingon and Quenya, or at least you own one or both dictionaries of these tongues and hope to master them someday.
11. You had to consult a psychoterapist for treating your depression after a server error deleted your World of Warcraft account.
12. You have driven several dozen different tanks and know all their strengths and weaknesses, yet you have never served in the army.
13. You get the pun in "192.168.1.101, sweet 192.168.1.101".
14. If a girl approaches you and asks if you want to go on a date with her, you think she's just ridiculing you.
15. If you are shown a picture where a naked blonde with double-D sized rack is playing a game on Xbox, the first thing you notice is the Xbox.
16. You always try to pick a fight with the orks when you're drunk.
17. "Cheater" and "n00b" are the two worst insults in your vocabulary.
18. When someone mentions "teabag", the first thing that comes to your mind isn't tea or a certain term in pornography.
19. If for some miraculous reason you do have a girlfriend, you both have virtual sex every evening.
20. If you are sitting on the internet and reading this rather than doing something more useful.

If you have answered 4 or more questions with a yes, there's a good chance you too are a nerd. Welcome to Nerd-dom!

MzSnowleopard
October 1st, 2014, 08:35 PM
Whew, I'm not a nerd, but I am a geek. What's the difference? Geeks are specialists :-)

mrmustard615
October 1st, 2014, 08:37 PM
Whew, I'm not a nerd, but I am a geek. What's the difference? Geeks are specialists :-)


Geeks look like this :geek:

Nippon Devil
October 1st, 2014, 11:50 PM
Though I realize this hardly counts as factual, it's essay-like nature makes me think it belongs in the non-fiction section. If not that, then at least humor unless you're intentionally being spiteful towards nerds, haha.

Regarding your writing, it was clean and easy to read. I think there was a sentence or two in the first paragraph that felt a little long, but nothing that absolutely needs correcting.

As far as what you actually wrote, I could say a few things. You state certain facts multiple times, particularly how nerds have bad communication skills and love star trek. Such things would be more forgivable in a large piece, but alas, that was not the case. Parts felt very spiteful and didn't really jive with the lighthearted feel this work seemed to have... Or maybe I'm a nerd and I was offended?

An entertaining read.

CyberWar
October 1st, 2014, 11:59 PM
I was actually intending to place it under the humor section, but a computer glitch resulted in it being posted here instead.

No offense, but judging by your avatar, it sure looks like you could be one of those otaku types. :D

Sam
October 2nd, 2014, 12:37 AM
Your title is wrong. It should have been 'Stereotypical Nerds'.

Every single item on your list is a stereotype promulgated by Hollywood and/or The Big Bang Theory. Almost everything is related to Star Trek. Not exactly riveting original material there. If this is supposed to be a non-fiction piece, everything herein is a baseless generalisation for which you offer no proof whatsoever. If it's supposed to be humorous, I didn't laugh once.

I enjoy a bit of nerd-bashing now and again, but if you're going to write a piece like this, at least try to be original. I know several people who one would class as 'nerds' and they vehemently hate Star Trek and/or gaming in general. Do your research and stop relying on television to do it for you. You'll find yourself to be a more well-rounded essayist if you do.

Nippon Devil
October 2nd, 2014, 12:39 AM
Nippon = old name for Jappan

Guilty as charged!

...But that artwork is actually from a french trading card game, so as much as I'd like to call you a nerd, a nerd wouldn't make that mistake.



But something else, not necessarily an improvement but an idea if you wanted to expand on this. I wouldn't mind reading about all the different nerds and their life-cycles. I'm just saying, most nerds don't have 15 cats...at least I don't. There are clearly some differences.

EDIT: I should note that I'm not an otaku. My room is free of body pillows, and what few animes I own are sandwiched between a plethora of action/crime films.

mrmustard615
October 2nd, 2014, 12:41 AM
Your title is wrong. It should have been 'Stereotypical Nerds'.

Every single item on your list is a stereotype promulgated by Hollywood and/or The Big Bang Theory. Almost everything is related to Star Trek. Not exactly riveting original material there. If this is supposed to be a non-fiction piece, everything herein is a baseless generalisation for which you offer no proof whatsoever. If it's supposed to be humorous, I didn't laugh once.

I enjoy a bit of nerd-bashing now and again, but if you're going to write a piece like this, at least try to be original. I know several people who one would class as 'nerds' and they vehemently hate Star Trek and/or gaming in general. Do your research and stop relying on television to do it for you. You'll find yourself to be a more well-rounded essayist if you do.

I would consider myself a nerd. I find myself having admiration for the intellectuals of the world who would be classified as nerds. I have yet to meet a "nerd" with tape holding together his glasses or carries a pocket pen holder. And they don't laugh any weirder than anybody else. So yes Sam I totally agree with you.

Plasticweld
October 2nd, 2014, 12:51 AM
I would consider myself a nerd. I find myself having admiration for the intellectuals of the world who would be classified as nerds. I have yet to meet a "nerd" with tape holding together his glasses or carries a pocket pen holder. And they don't laugh any weirder than anybody else. So yes Sam I totally agree with you.

You guys are lucky that this is how nerds are portrayed... I would trade you any day for the stereotypical image of a logger.


Tell anyone your a logger and it takes less than 10 seconds for them to start singing Monty Pythons "I'm a lumberjack and I'm ok"

mrmustard615
October 2nd, 2014, 12:53 AM
You guys are lucky that this is how nerds are portrayed... I would trade you any day for the stereotypical image of a logger.


Tell anyone your a logger and it takes less than 10 seconds for them to start singing Monty Pythons "I'm a lumberjack and I'm ok"

I wouldn't do that to you, Bob, honest :roll:

Plasticweld
October 2nd, 2014, 12:59 AM
Hmmm Sarcasm... My guess of all the people here... You really do know all the words to the entire song.

mrmustard615
October 2nd, 2014, 01:03 AM
Hmmm Sarcasm... My guess of all the people here... You really do know all the words to the entire song.


Yeah, pretty much :lol:

CyberWar
October 3rd, 2014, 01:50 PM
Nippon = old name for Jappan

Guilty as charged!

...But that artwork is actually from a french trading card game, so as much as I'd like to call you a nerd, a nerd wouldn't make that mistake.



But something else, not necessarily an improvement but an idea if you wanted to expand on this. I wouldn't mind reading about all the different nerds and their life-cycles. I'm just saying, most nerds don't have 15 cats...at least I don't. There are clearly some differences.

EDIT: I should note that I'm not an otaku. My room is free of body pillows, and what few animes I own are sandwiched between a plethora of action/crime films.

Good suggestion, that life-cycle idea. I'll be sure to expand on it sometime.

I can't help but notice a lot of people here seem to take my little essay awfully seriously. I think it's pretty obvious I'm quipping at popular stereotypes about nerds rather than about nerds as people.

I myself answered 7 questions with a yes in that questionnaire, so guess where that lands me.

Clepto
October 9th, 2014, 11:34 PM
I myself am a nerd, and I am very proud of that fact. However, I do think that the majority of your examples are completely false.I myself have excellent social skills, amazing interpersonal communication, and have even been accused of being a social butterfly.

Many nerds that I have known are more outgoing and social than typically social stereotypes.

With all that being said I found a few points chuckle worthy, but overall it fell flat. The writing is not bad but the humor just wasn't there for me.