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View Full Version : First 10,000 words of "The Linking", Sci-fi novel



jerich100
September 26th, 2014, 05:57 AM
I'm seeking someone who would like to review, markup, and otherwise shred the first 10,000 words or so of my sci-fi novel. Several of you read them about six months ago. I have made many improvements, so the story is only better now. I will read and mark up 10,000 or so words of yours. We can help each other. If you're interested, please respond to the thread or send me a message. Below are the first few paragraphs just as a teaser. Thanks.


Wedged between chaparral, prickly pear, and tarweed, the trail snaked downward between the scorpions and tarantulas to a sandy stream bed that seldom flowed, and only after a good, long rain.

Tossing up a puff of dust with every footstep, Marc Krause’s weakened pace gave his mind and body repeatable, rehabilitating movements that distracted him from the fever he had just overcome. For days, he bore it silently to avoid disappointing his math students as they presented their class projects they had worked on all year. He succumbed Friday morning when sitting upright caused his bedroom to tilt improperly and re-level only after he lay down for a considerable time. Calling in a substitute teacher gave him such relief he slept until the afternoon, when waking upon drenched sheets he discovered happily his fever had broken. To his surprise, his body and mind soon functioned well enough and he had to get away from the house that confined him.

The parched chaparral-lined canyon, one of many interconnecting rifts below San Diego’s neighborhoods, was where he spent much of his not-too-distant youth. There as a boy he often found solace and came across discoveries such as animal skeletons, snake skins, and unguarded forts.

Under the sinking sun, he hoped he would regain the strength he lost during the week. And there were two days of weekend ahead of him before Monday, when by then he expected a full recovery.

A dog’s yelp jolted birds into anxious flight. Far worse were the continuing anguished howls that yanked every bit of compassion from him and made his muscles tighten uncomfortably.

JR.
October 9th, 2014, 02:41 PM
I'll take you up on that, jerich.