View Full Version : A political reworking. (language)

August 30th, 2014, 01:58 PM
I wrote an experimental short piece recently. With the political climate in Great Britain and news this week that a a right wing party has used the Crown on their merchandise without permission, an outspoken M.P. beaten up last night and social media full of right wing rhetoric; I decided to extend it.

Any similarity to any person is of course, purely coincidental.

Paulie Goldwing had already had one promotion,though he struggled with his English, he was destined for great things. It was nearly English,working for an American company,for everyone knew that the Americans were our brothers in the struggle, who knows, perhaps one day Paulie might be Prime Minister of the America's too, of course the darkies living in Brazil or places like that would have to go home but that was only right. Paulie was of the superior race and the supremacists must have living room.

Jealously guarded, the sodium chloride was added by Paulie, the experienced manager, nearly four months in post and hated by his staff and of no significance to his customers. Not a hair out of place, ironed shirt and trousers, a company man by the age of 19. With a wage that the government felt was one that could be lived on yet the prices of goods in the stores around told him it wasn't.
The golden arches were the sign of feckless abandonment of the pursuit of happiness and acceptance of the unacceptable. Bland tasteless profit encouraged engorging on the cheapest cuts of meat, chemical potency disguised as apple pie, presented in a garish package with a warning that the contents may be hot, which the stupid read as they burnt their mouth risking a bite. Tea served in such a manner that the plastic cup melted just a little, enough to add a modicum of taste to the liquid, proudly displaying the legend Caution I'm hot. When people keep coming again and again, when the profits mount and the quality stays the same, perhaps we could expect more signs in our lives? Reminders to breathe in and to exhale? People have to be protected or they would hurt themselves.

Paulie was proud to work for a company that took the safety of everyone seriously, he had always made a point of taking his time when serving "effnics;" they got their cups not quite full, the smaller burger and never a smile. The small victories were important.

No one smiles in this factory. In front of or behind the counter. The robotic enquirer,says something inaudible, did he ask if I wanted fries with that or did he wish death upon me? The world will not end in nuclear desolation or be swallowed by the sun, the world is ending today, they are killing us with their ideas of corporate family fun? Things have to change and today was the day of change. Someone had asked if the meat was Halal and he told them that it wasn't so they left. This was power, this was revolution. Next they will expect Halal water and this is England not some foreign place. If they can't follow our laws they should be beaten and humiliated to teach them that we are right.

Paulie knew that his nylon uniform, with its plastic stars made people sit up and take notice. The stars he earned from handing out burgers to the weary British warriors made them notice him. He was going places. He had four people that were determined to make him their leader. He once posted on Facebook that he had told a Pakistani bus driver to "fuck off." It was true, he didn't feel he needed to tell them that the bus was almost out of sight, over the crest of a hill at the time. He would have said it to his face though, really he would. Eleven people had liked his status. They were patriots. The time was coming, although he knew he could get into serious trouble; for defacing company property, he had made his Mum cut out all the labels on his uniform, he wasn't wearing something that had "Made in Bangladesh" written on it.

The time was upon us, soon they would rise up and take our country back. That man with the scowl looked fed up and it was probably the "Islamifaction" of our White Cliffs of Dover that had oppressed him, it was down to Paulie to change things for the scowly man and the rest of our beautiful land. The man looked at Paulie and Paulie knew that this was his chance to shine. There was only one chance to make a first impression and that time was now. Paulie drew himself up to his full height and looked scowly man straight in the eye and as he passed him his burger asked him the question that only patriotic English would understand the true significance of.
"Would you like fries with that?"

August 30th, 2014, 05:20 PM
a lot of stuff crammed in there..enjoyed

Kieran S
September 1st, 2014, 09:24 AM
I agree, there's lots crammed into a few paragraphs, but I enjoyed it too.

The font (Arial Narrow?) doesn't do much for readability and it might be easier if it was broken into more paragraphs. The language is descriptive though and the images are neat and to-the-point.

Perhaps Paulie might have some more adventures?