View Full Version : The world beyond the portal

June 22nd, 2014, 04:13 AM
This is the second book I ever wrote. I suck at details, but the story comes from my dreams. I will posting the chapters as I write them, I hope everyone will enjoy it.

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The World Beyond The Portal

Chapter 1

My name is Zidus, I am 13, white, male, 4 ft tall, skinny, and a little weird. By weird, I mean I am not like everybody else, I despise rap, showing your boxers, drinking, smoking, and well acting like how other kids are these days. People say I was born in the wrong era, maybe because I hang around the older generation and not my own age. I do like sports, not watching them, but playing them. I play as many sports as I can and I do well in them, because I am insanely competitive. In fact, I am so competitive that people will no longer play board games with me. After I get done with practice, I go home and do my homework and after homework, I watch anime. I love anime, I love it so much that I wish I could enter the anime world. Every Christmas I ask my parents to make a portal to the anime world. The reason why I ask them is because they are both scientist. Their work takes them all around the world and for the past year, their work took them away from the US and to the Bermuda Triangle. I live with my Aunt and Uncle when my parents can not take me with them and for the first time I received a letter from my parents, to come see their work. Soon after the letter came in, a man showed up to escort me to my parents.

We took a plane and when we got off, I was chained and taken to a boat. The boat took me to a building on the water where I was brought to my parents who were in a cage. They told my parents that the longer they take to get the portal from working, the longer I would go with out food. I was put into another cell and I ended up befriending the guard who watches over the cells. He informed me that my parents were working on a portal that was the size of a can. The portal could take you to another world, but it was too small for people to go through. My parents job was to make it bigger and they were making progress until they found out their organization was a terrorist group. They brought me there to motivate my parents to work. Ten days after I was imprisoned, the guard told me that they Navy appeared and it looked like my time was up. The man threw me a loaf of bread and told me to enjoy my last meal. After not eating for ten days, my stomach hurt like hell, but the bread helped to quite the pain. Soon after eating the bread, I was brought to the portal where my parents stood at gun point. A man asked if they finished the portal yet and they told him that they couldn't be sure, until they sent something through. The man looked at me and my parents realized what he was thinking. They begged him not to, then the man gave the order to throw me into the portal. I tried to fight back, but they over powered me. Then, one of them fell to the ground, the other one was quick to follow. The military showed up and began swarming the place, taking out anyone who resisted. The guy who was giving orders tackled me into the portal.

Chapter 2

We came out of the portal and it was pitch black. I pushed the man off me and tried to go back, but the portal was gone. The man grabbed me by the hair and told me if I didn't make my self useful he was going to kill me. Right after he said that, he loosened his grip and began screaming. I felt his hand roll down my back and I realized why he was screaming. Something cut off his hand and I wasn't sticking around to find out what. Of course, it didn't help that I couldn't see and I ran right into a tree. I felt something grab me and bite into my neck. I couldn't see what it was, but after it bit me, my limbs went numb and my memories began to flow into my head. I was seeing my entire life flash before my eyes. Then, I started seeing memories that were not mine. The memories showed me of a little girl who lived her entire life in a large cave with thousands of other children. They went to a school that was like a prison and they were forced to fight each other. The people in the cave looked like humans, but the adults all had large fangs like a vampire. I just realized what was happening to me, I was bitten by a vampire. I must have been seeing the life of the vampire who bit me.

The memories of the vampire showed that she never left the cave until she was around my age. She never left the cave until the sun went down and when she left she would travel through the trees as if she was flying. Through her eyes I saw things that looked liked dinosaurs and villages with wooden walls. I saw that the forest was on an island and across the water, just close enough for the eyes to see, was another land. The other land didn't look like a island, but a continent. As the memories continued, I saw her traveling with friends now. They came to an alter where a group of men and women were tied up. The teachers surrounded the alter and a line was forming at the bottom of the alters' stairs. They took turns going up and biting the necks of the people. The vampire I was looking at the memories of was the next to go up. The teacher told her to not bite for too long or else the product could attend their memories as well. Her friends who went up with her said, “Hear that, don't go all the was Rina.” She responded with, “As if I would go all the way with a human.” She pick a young women and dug her teeth into and began draining her memories. The memories she drained was her language and after she gained those memories, she released her fangs. She met up with her friends and they sat in front of another teacher. The teacher told everyone that now that they accumulated the DNA of another creature, they could become that being. The teacher changed into a fearsome looking creature that looked like a T-Rex. She returned to normal and told everyone else to focus on the image of the creature they absorbed and think about becoming them. Everyone began to change into the person they bit. Even Rina was changing and soon after they all returned to the cave. Later, they would form groups and hunt deadly creatures for their DNA and soon I came to the memory of her with her group showing up where that man was grabbing me by the hair. She told her friends to stay back, she was going to have some fun. Her hands became like sharp claws and she jumped down from the treetops and sliced the mans hand off. She told her friends that they could have fun with him and grabbed me. Then she bit into my neck and I opened my eyes.

From the darkness I heard a women say, “No way, she went all the way.” From the memories I gained from Rina, I recognized the voice. The voice belonged to a vampire named Silvia. Rina took her fangs out of my neck and I fell to the ground. I was still numb, but my strength soon returned. I stood up and I heard Silvia say, “Kill him already, you know the rules, no human can live after a going all the way.” I said, “Shut up, Silvia, that doesn't apply to me, because I am not a normal human, right Rina.” I realized I said that in their language and Silvia responded with, “A primitive creature like you dares to tell me to shut up.” I heard a loud noise, like something clashed and I heard Silvia speak again and she said, “Rina, why do you defend him.” I heard Rina say, “Because, he is definitely not a primitive, he is something special.” Silvia replied with, “I see, if you go all the way, you end up falling in love.” Rina yelled out that she wasn't in love with a human. I then intervened and said, “Listen, all of you, including you guys in the trees, do me a favor and do not report this to the teachers. I come from a different world, I may be new, but I plan to survive.” I heard a new voice who sounded like the vampire Johnny and he said, “Well it wouldn't be the first time we broke the rules and if you have Rina's memories, then you know all of us pretty well, that means, night is going to be a busy time for you. Welcome to our group my new friend and if I do not see what is so great about sparring your life in the next few nights, then you are out of the group and you will forfeit your life.” Before I could reply they all took off and I was left alone as the sun started to come up.

The sun allowed me to see the world around me and the corpse of the man who brought me here. His limbs were ripped off and his head was ripped out with the spinal cord still attached. The pain of my stomach reminded me that I was still at the point of starving. I searched the corpse for food, but all I found was a knife, a lighter, a handgun, a broken cell phone, and handgun ammo. The handgun will be a last resort, thankfully, my Uncle taught me how to fire guns. I figured that the body would attract predators, so I waited in a tree for them to come. Little creatures showed up first and began feasting on the corpse. Then I saw something that I definitely recognized. It was a raptor, and if what I remember from all the movies I've seen, they travel in packs. I knew the creatures in the memories I acquired were dinosaurs. The danger was high, but I needed food. I jumped out of the tree and stabbed it into the neck as hard as I could, but the skin was so thick that I didn't even manage to break skin. I bounced off the creature and it turned its head to rip my head off. I used my legs to push off the raptor and dodge its razor sharp teeth. The other raptors that were hidden came out and surrounded me. I should of stayed in the tree, now I had to use my handgun. I pulled it out and shot the first one in front of me. The noise made all of them back up, but they didn't leave. The one I hit wasn't even effected by the bullet. Just how tough was their skin, I needed to hit them somewhere where the bullet could hurt them. They were getting closer again and this time I aimed for the eyes. I shot one in the eyes and it let out a howl. I quickly made my way towards the one I hit and the others attacked me. I shot one of the ones attacking me in foot and it actually managed to hurt it and it lost its footing. The raptor fell into another raptor and I switched to move to the space that opened up and pulled the knife out again and put it into the eye of the raptor I shot in the foot. I dug the knife in deep and the raptor stopped moving. I got lucky and even luckier when the other raptors backed off. The one I shot in the gave me a fierce look, then it took off and the other raptors followed. Once, again, the time with my Uncle helped me. All the things he taught me about hunting was paying off. It was hard skinning the raptor, but it taught me where all the weak spots of a raptor were. Also, the skin was more like scales and the other side was weird. The weird thing about the other side of the skin was that it would attach to my skin almost as if it was alive. It didn't want to let go either, I had to pry it off me. The uniqueness of the skin gave me an idea, I was going to turn it into armor.

I rolled up the skin and threw it over my shoulders, then I carried pieces of meat in my hands and headed for a river I learned about through Rina's memories. I managed to make it to the river with out any more trouble and I started a fire. I began roasting the meat and as the meat cooked, I washed the skins. It really helped that the skin attached to my skin like a sticker, all I had to worry about was getting the pieces to match up. My new raptor armor felt as if it was part of my body and the only thing I couldn't get it to cover was my eyes. I put my clothes over my armor and went back to the fire where my food was cooking. It took a while for the meat to cook, but soon I was feasting on raptor flesh. The meat was tough, but it felt so good to finally fill my stomach. The smell brought other creatures, I wasn't going to wait for the bigger ones to show up. I started to leave, when what ever luck I had, ran out and two large T-Rex looking things showed up. The difference between these and a T-Rex was that these had long arms with large claws. All the creatures in the area disappeared and I was left standing in the middle of a clearing with two predators looking at me. I took off into the river and lets call them Long Arms, followed me. I pulled out the handgun and shot at the eyes, but it had no effect. I threw the handgun onto land and dove into the water. The jaws followed me underwater and one of them manged to grab me. I was ripped out of the water and thrown into the air, just to fall down and get swallowed by one of the long arms. I pulled out my knife and cut my way out of the throat of the beast that tried to swallow me whole. I crawled out of the hole I created and the beast began to choke on it's own blood. The other Long Arm grabbed me and tried to bite me in half. Thankfully, the raptor skin was protecting me and soon the Long arm through me to the ground and began feasting on it's dead counter part. I quickly left and got the heck out of there.

The raptor skin saved my life, but when I tried to take it off, it wouldn't come off. It was as if the raptor skin fused to my skin and it was even starting to change to my skin color. The skin became smoother and took the shape of my body, maybe it wasn't such a bad thing. By the time the sun started going down, the raptor skin completely fused with my body and I couldn't even tell that it was ever there. My hair was even growing out of it, including the top of my head. It was really a relief to know that I wasn't going to be bald. When darkness came, I knew that I was going to get attacked if I was found outside a village. I knew this because the memories I acquired, so I used a bunch of sticks and made a crummy looking wall around me and a camp fire. I soon heard voices in the dark and they said, “Is this some kind of joke, what does the human think he is doing.” I could hear more and more showing up and the vampires were all making fun of me. I probably should of thought about this a little bit more, but that isn't going to help me now. The conversations soon turned to talks about killing me, so I yelled out in their language and said, “You fail, all of you, as punishment, you are to head back to the caves and meet up with Professor Irvine, to be lectured on what you do when you see a human in the night who is not in a village. Now leave, so that I can grade the next group.” I heard them complain and I yelled out, “Did I stuttered I said move!” They all quickly took off and soon more of them showed up later. I heard one of them say, “Hey, my friend told me that the human is actually a teacher and if we do not attack, we have to do a lesson with Professor Irvine.” One of them immediately tried to cut off my head, but my new skin protected me and I was sent flying into a tree. I got up and said, “Good, you pass, as for the rest of you, you all have to go see Professor Irvine as punishment.” I requested the name of the one who attacked me and it was a male vampire named Mark. I told Mark to escort every one to Professor Irvine and after it was his time to do what ever he wanted. I feel sorry for Professor Irvine, but from what I could remember, he was a jerk. Of course when all the kids showed up to take his course, he came to see me to find out why I was sending people to him. He demanded to know my true identity, but I when I didn't change, he figured I was a child pretending to be a teacher. I was dragged to the principle who looked like he was the devil. I laughed as I was put brought before him and said, “You think I am scarred, all I got to do is escape and change back to normal, then you will never figure out who I am.” The Principal laughed and said, “Fine, stay a weak pathetic human, we can watch you for as long as we want. Just know, the longer you wait, the worse your punishment.” I was told that I was forbidden to leave the cave without an escort and there will be eyes watching me everywhere. After that I was kicked out and told it was lunch time.

It was a weird feeling being in a place that I have memories of, but never actually been to. It almost felt like deja vu. I found the cafeteria and prepared myself to try the food. I waited in line and a few of the people I sent to see the professor showed up. They were not too happy and slammed me up against the wall. They were probably going to kill me if Johnny didn't intervene. To get them to stop he said, “Calm down, it was a good joke and do not forget,fighting is not allowed in school.” The group disbanded and John said, “So, we were looking for you and what we found was a raptor that was skinned alive.” I was certainly surprised that it was still alive and he told me that he had to thank me for skinning the raptor. It made it easy to absorb the DNA of the raptor and his group was able to pass their capture a predator DNA test. I was told that raptors are the hardest of the predators to fight, I got lucky because the group that attacked me, was just playing with me. If they were serious, the raptors would never have given me a chance to lift a finger. He asked me what I did with the skin and I told him I was wearing it. John started to touch me all over and people were starting to talk. He then said, “I can't believe the skin bonded with you, listen, not much is known about raptors, besides that they have insane regenerative powers, they are incredibly smart, and their skin must never be worn until after the cells die in the skin. No one knows why they have these rules, but since your body has bonded with the skin, there is no telling what is going to happen to you.” I wasn't to worried, I figured the skin was already done changing. Our talk was cut off, because we were finally at the front of the line and we grabbed some food. When we sat down, everyone who was in our little group from last night joined us. The food may have looked weird, but it tasted like chicken.

After we ate, we headed to class and today we went over the land across the ocean. They told us that across the ocean, were several territories. These territories had different beings that controlled them. These beings were called Magicians or Sorcerers. They are humans that use artifacts to use magic to become strong. Magic is a power that alters reality, it is a grand power that could easy destroy a vampire in a fight. Though if they did try to go to war with the vampires, the vampires would win,because they would kill their enemies before they even knew they were next to them. though magic is a great power, not all the humans are able to learn it, only a select few can actually do magic. Even fewer can do it well and the ones that do it well, are the rulers of territories on the other land. The lecture continued and I feel asleep, though I did stay up for two days, so I was pretty tired already. I was awakened by the teacher slamming my head though my desk. It hurt like hell and the teacher looked surprised said, “What are you.” I grabbed the teachers head and threw him through a wall. My blood was pumping and I had only one thing on my mind, the teacher was my enemy and he had to die. The teacher came back through the wall and attacked me, I kicked him back tried to claw his face off. I was stopped and held down by Johnny, he told me to calm down. I tried to get free, but Johnny had a firm grip on me and wouldn't let go. Johnny yelled at the other students to show me a mirror and when one did, I immediately stopped. The mirror showed me that my body changed, I looked more like a raptor, than a human. I had raptor eyes, my hands were claws, and my skin turned into scales. Slowly the changes started to go away and I returned back to normal. The teacher told Johnny to take me to the principles office immediately.

Once again I was brought in front of the principle and he didn't look happy. He decided that it was time for me to receive punishment. I was dragged to the auditorium and chained to a stage. Soon after, the auditorium started to fill up with students. The place was filled and the principle said, “It is time for a lesson, the lesson is on humans. Humans are greedy, power hungry, and evil. They are the reason our kind have had to live with out ever knowing our parents. The reason we never get to see our parents is because they die trying to fight off the humans. We offer them peace and they stab us in the backs. When all of you graduate, you will also be sent to fight in the war with the humans. We have kept it a secret from you, but we can no longer do that. The reason is because a human has infiltrated the school. Other will soon come and so, we will start evacuating to another island.” The crowd was going crazy and they went even crazier when an explosion went off where the principle was standing. Johnny took the stage and stabbed the principle through his chest with a spear. He yelled out and said, “Sorry, but you will all die today.” The ceiling exploded and the sun beamed through and people came flooding in. The vampires tried to fight back, but they were so weak. Johnny told me that vampires become as weak as a child and lose the ability to transform in sunlight. I asked him why he was killing all the vampires and he responded with, “It's because they're vermin, parasites, an eyesore to intellectual beings. At least that is what my people think, I'm just doing it for fame.” Our conversation was interrupted by a raptor going for Johnny's throat. Johnny grabbed the raptor and slammed it into the ground. Then he started saying an incantation and the raptor changed into Silvia. Her face was filled with fear and Johnny said, “It's been fun, but it is time to move on.” A spear appeared in his hand like magic and he put it through Silvia's chest. Silvia fell to the ground and I watched as the life left her body. Johnny began to change and he became a different person who looked like he was thirty. He looked at me and said, “This is who I really am, I am Magnus, the number 3 strongest mage in the world. This will most likely be the last time we ever meet, but as one last favor,because you are my friend, I will tell you why you never attach raptor flesh to your body. The reason is because raptor flesh doesn't die right away,it has the ability to regenerate its body if it is attached to another living thing. Right now as I speak, your body is changing into the body of a raptor. It will effect your mind as well and the worst thing is that you will be unable to stop it. The best way to stay human as long as you can, is to prevent certain things. First, if the raptor part of you senses danger, it will take over like it did with the teacher and that will also speed up the process. Second, strong emotions can also speed up the process.” Magnus made the chain that held me disappear and then he disappeared. I looked around and everywhere I looked, humans were killing the vampires. A women appeared on the stage and she walked up to me and said, “I saw the great Magnus free you, but who are you.” I told her that I was his best friend and he rushed his plans to save me.”She said, “I thought it was weird that he would change the attack date, but I can understand if it was for his best friend.” She soon started asking me if I would set her up as a blind date with him. I told her if she took me outside I would ask, she instantly transported us out of the caves and she then began telling me how she knew everything about him. Soon other women started popping up and they asked her why she was with the man who Magnus was talking to. She gloated how I was going to set her up with Magnus on a date and the women became like animals fighting each other. Then they turned on me and they all try to get me to set them up with Magnus as well. Soon a man appeared behind me and all the women stopped. The man demanded to know why everyone was not in the caves, but up top fighting each other. The women were at a loss for words and the man ordered them to get back into the caves. He told me to get lost and he disappeared. I didn't want to leave, because the memories I got from Rina made me feel like it was my home, and they were slaughtering the people I grew up with. I went to the closes entrance and found a group of people guarding it. I told them that they were needed at the battle to make up for Magnus leaving. They quickly left and I continued going around to every entrance telling all the mages that were guarding them, using the same line. It didn't take long for the vampires to come running out of the entrances and with no one waiting for them, they took off into the woods. I quickly joined them in running away, but I was caught by one of the mages I told to go help out. They brought me before that man who told me to get lost. He said, “Why did you help the vampires get away.” I told him, “Because I was giving Magnus a hard time.” He wasn't pleased with my answer and said, “For siding with the enemy I sentence you to death.” He then shot a beam out of his hand and it was blocked by Magnus. He looked back at me and said, “You little bastered, you ruined my two year plan, even after I helped you. For that, I am going to give you a fate worse than death. I am going to transport you to a land that is located far, far, away and there you will struggle to survive everyday. There is no intelligent life on this land, but there is monsters. There will not be a single safe area for you to live and the raptor inside you will sense it, if you manage to survive and make it back here, I will forgive you. though, I doubt you will survive for more than a week, later friend.” Magnus grabbed my shoulder and I found my self in a dense woods. The sun was setting, just how far did he send me away, I doubt I could get back if I built a ship. Actually, right now I should try and find a place to sleep.

I took one step and shivers started going down my spine. Scales started to appear on my skin and the ground started to move. From underneath my feet a giant centipede erupted and it didn't seem to notice that I was on its back. It was large enough for me to lay down and not worry about falling off. I took a nap on the centipede, but it didn't last. A creature attacked the centipede and it was twice as big as the T-rex I saw and had a giant fin on its back. The fin creature used its hands to hold the centipede down and it dug its teeth into its body and ripped it in half. In an instant my place to nap was gone and I quickly left as it began feasting on the flesh of the creature it just killed. In just a few steps my body started feeling shivers again, but this time I could feel it all over my body. My body was shaking like crazy and the raptor took control. The danger I was feeling came from another fin creature and it tried to eat me in one bite. I dodged and dug my claws into its eye. I pulled out my claws and jumped to the ground. The creature let out a scream and I took off before it could follow me. It didn't take long before I was face to face with another monster. This monster looked like a giant gorilla with the head of a crocodile. It tried to grab me with its hands and I tried to dodge with everything I had. Every move I made, was made on instinct and it was barley keeping me alive. I managed to escape, but ended up running into a group of the gorilla crocks. I was halfway through the group before they noticed me and I was out before they could move. Everywhere I went, I entered another monsters territory and I just barely managed to survive each time. I finally made it to an area that the raptor didn't go crazy around and I began to gain power over my body again. My body started to revert back to human, but the scales on my arm didn't want to change back. Something wasn't right about the area I entered, it look like a field filled with small lakes that weren't deeper than two feet. There were a few trees in the field of lakes, but only a single type of plant was growing out of the water. The plants looked like long red grass with red balls on the top. Something wasn't right about this place, but it was the only area where I wasn't being chased or attacked by monsters. I made sure not to step into the lakes and took a nap in one of the trees.

I was hoping that I was finally going to get some sleep, but once again I was wakened by something. That something was falling out of the tree because the ground was shaking. I looked around and saw one of the gorilla monsters in one of the lakes. The lake was curling up with the creature stuck inside it. The lake formed into a ball and it got smaller and smaller until it was the size of a elephant. Then it opened up again and returned to its lake form, but the lake water was red and the gorilla was smashed to the point that it looked like a rug. The red ball plants retracted into lake and from the middle the water started to drain. I saw what was in the middle and it was a mouth, the lakes were more monsters and after the mouth closed, water filled up the lake again. The plants went back up and it was as if nothing had happened. This whole place was a death trap, but it will also become my home.

Chapter 3 Two years later

It has been two years and I am a shell of the person I once was. I struggle everyday just to hold on to the memories of my family and my body is covered in scales. My face has stayed the same, but my eyes have changed into raptor eyes. Thankfully I haven't grown a tail, because that would be very annoying. Another thing to be thankful for is that I finally learned everything about this place. This land was another island and there was no way to escape, because surrounding the island was a never ending storm. I mapped out the island and it looks like a birds head facing sideways. Where the birds eye would be, is a volcano and then there is just a large neck. I discovered more place that the monsters on the island stay away from, most of them I try not to go near as well. Also, I have found a new place to live that is on a stone cliff. The reason I choose the stone cliff is because it had a house on it and inside it was a fireplace, a telegraph machine, a few books, tools, and five beds. Outside of the house was a hot air balloon that was beyond repair and a stone stair way that led down the cliff to the water. Ever since I found the house, I have studied one of the books that taught me how to use a telegraph. To get this one to work I had to wind it up and I still wasn't sure if anybody was listening. Three times a day I would send a message and that message was, “My name is Zidus, is there anybody out there.”

After two years of waiting, something finally happened and that was that the telegraph responded. It said, “Hi, Zidus,my name is Jimm from New Zealand.” We continued to talk over the a few weeks and with our conversation, I started to realize that he was from my world. I immediately asked him to call my family using my Uncles number. In a few days, Jimm contacted me again and this time it said, “Are you Zidus Ray Davis.” I replied with yes and then the telegraph said, “Where are you.” I said, “Another world.” The conversation went on for awhile and I learned that My mom was on the other side of the line. After she told me how much she loved me, she told me that dad was there too and they were looking for another portal. They believed that there was a portal nearby that was close and it was their best chance of getting to where I was at. I told them it was better that they didn't, this world was filled with monsters.

My parents didn't take my warning and a few days later a battleship appeared in the water. I didn't expect my parents to show up in a battleship and I used the telegraph to tell them where I was. The whole house was soon surrounded by military personal. When they saw what I looked like, they turned hostile and drew their weapons on me. My mom came running in and wrapped her arms around me. She tried to talk, but she was crying to hard to make any words. My dad was right behind mom and he was telling the military people to put down their guns. After things settled down, I explain to them what I experienced and what happened to my body. Soon, I was brought to the battleship and hooked up to a lot of machines and people were going nuts. The examination was halted when everyone was told reinforcements were coming. I went with my parents onto the deck where it was covered in military personal. They were all looking into the storm and then I saw what they were looking for. Battle ships came flooding in and it seem like they would never stop. There was over thirty battle ships from several different countries. I had forgotten what most of the countries were, but hearing there names again brought back memories of school. My memories seemed like a dream, if I did not constantly concentrate on remembering, I would end up forgetting about it.

After things settled, I was right back to test being done on me. The test went for a few days, until they got a new test subject. The new test subject came from the island. In fact the whole, island became a testing site. The creatures that almost killed me countless times were now in cages, they didn't stand a chance against our technology. A month later, more ships came and a few days after that, they released these giant balloons into the storm that surrounds the island. A few minutes later, the storm disappeared and a continent appeared in the distant.

The next day I watched the battleships sail away toward the continent. I walked around the camp and someone told me that my mom was looking for me. At first I didn't understand who they were talking about, I had to ask them what a mom was. It seem that I have reached a point were I was starting to forget things and they would remain forgotten. Actually now that I think about it, I do not remember what happened yesterday. Later in the day I was approached by a women who was crying, I do not know why she was crying, but I didn't like her clinging to me. I pushed her away and took off into the jungle.

It wasn't long tell the people on the island started hunting me down like they did with all the other animals. I wonder if I should attack or flee. If I am not careful, I will end up in one of those cages they have around the island.

I decided to flee and I ended up fleeing to the volcano. I have never been to the top, but now I was forced to hide on the top of the frozen lava inside the volcanoes top. It was pretty cool walking on frozen lava, but something caught my eye. There was a statue in the middle of the volcano and it looked like a man sitting on a chair with a curved dagger. As I approached the statue a voice came from behind me and said, “To think we would meet again.” I turned around and saw a familiar face, it was the face of the man who sent me to this island. I do not remember his name, but I remember that he was powerful. I spoke some of the few words I remember and said, “What happen, Vampires.” I wanted to know what happened to the people I saved and he told me they were all hunted down and slaughtered by him. Then he went on about how it must have been karma that I brought my people here and slaughtered half of his race. I guess all those battleships left and started a war. The man continued and said, “To think that in order to save my people, I would have to request the help from an imprisoned God.” He destroyed the statue and a shock wave erupted from the statue and my body felt like it fell into water. I asked the man what he did and he told me that he destroyed the device that split the world into two dimensions. I didn't understand what he was saying, so he said it in another way. He said, “Rock, magic, break, change world.”I still didn't understand, but I soon found out what he meant. The ground began to crack and fire erupted from the cracks. Lava came pouring out of the cracks and I was losing places to stand. I looked at the sky and saw planes popping out of no where. The man used his magic to lift me off the ground, before the lava took over the ground beneath my feet. I was able to see the Island, but the weird thing was that the island was growing. The Island turned into a continent and people started to appear like the planes. The whole world was changing and I was beginning to understand what was going on, my world and the other world were combining into one. The next thing I notice was the lava was starting to disappear in the volcano. Soon, all that was left, was a giant tunnel of emptiness. The man said, “Finally the entrance has opened,” and the magic that kept me floating disappeared. I fell into the hole and I continued to fall, it seemed like I would never stop falling.

After failing for what seemed 20 minutes,the man used his magic to stop us and we landed on a giant mushroom. The man looked at me and then he shot me in the face. My memories returned and I remembered his name was Magnus. I asked why he couldn't have returned my memories earlier and he said, “I didn't need your help then, but now that you can think again, I want you to help me find a man named Kronos.” I told Magnus I would help, but before I help, I wanted to know where we were. Magnus laughed and said, “Can't you tell, we are at the center of the Earth, or a least close to it.”

Chapter 4

It was pretty green for being in the center of the Earth and it looked like the ceiling was filled with little suns. The weird thing about the little suns, was that they were moving. I was going to ask Magnus what they were, but he already disappeared. So, I stopped looking up and started searching for this Kronos person. I took off running into the woods and it seemed as if everything was overgrown. This world at the center looked as if it has been untouched for thousands of years, but there was one spot that didn't look like it was untouched. This spot was a tree that had been changed into a house. There was a door that was covered in green moss and a window with a curtain that was filed with holes. I tried to open the door, but it fell apart. I walked past the broken door and into the house. The house was a single room and like the outside, everything was falling apart like the door. There was one thing that seemed in alright condition and it was a book. I opened the book and it was in another language. It had a lot of pretty pictures, so I took it with me. I kept looking, but there was nothing, just plants. I eventually came to the end of the cave and followed the wall around the cave and eventually I came to a cliff. At the bottom of the cliff there was a a tunnel, so I jumped down and entered the tunnel. The tunnel led to another thing that was human made. In this tunnel, there was a stair case with a bright light down the stairs. Super tiny suns where crawling away from the light and it was getting extremely hot. I finally made it to the light and it was a bug that was giving off the light. It looked like a giant fire fly and surrounding it was millions and millions of eggs. I finally knew what little suns were on the cave ceiling, but it wasn't what I was looking for. The bug started to give me a look, so I continued down the tunnel and came to a a room with nothing in it. I thought for sure that there would be something, but guess not, I guess I should go back. I turned around and Magnus was behind me, he said, “This is it, this is where Kronos is locked up.” He released a wave of energy and the walls came tumbling down. The destroyed walls revealed a large stone chest and Magnus blew the side apart. A black liquid that was unbearable. It was the worst smell I have ever smelled in my life and it started to take form. A skeleton took shape and soon the muscles grew back. Skin covered the body and then eyeballs followed. Hair covered the head and then he started to breath. Magnus used his magic to give the man some clothes and make the black liquid disappear. Magnus said, “ Kronos, I have freed you, because my world is in need of your power.” Kronos smiled and said, “I have looked at the past and future of young one and I have discovered a way to save your world.” He walked up to me and grabbed my shoulder and said, “Ready to go for a ride.” Magnus's eyes grew and before he could move we disappeared and reappeared in a world filled with light, with no source and there was nothing for as far as the eye can see.

I asked Kronos where we were and a man appeared from the nothingness and said, “You are in the space between realms, a place that only a few can venture to, who are you and how did you get here.” Kronos said, “Listen, I am not in a good mood right now, if you do not want to die, go tell God that Kronos from section 19 is here to see him.” The man replied with, God has retired, I am currently taking over his role and you can call me Josh.” Kronos attacked Josh with a powerful attack that created an explosion that was as big as a cruise ship. The smoke cleared away and Josh stood there, completely unaffected by the attack. Josh said, “I see, you are a God-class being, but that is all, you need to have the power of a God-class entity to face me and I just don't see you ever getting that powerful.” Kronos replied with, “Strange, every time I look into your past, you have lived a different life, just what are you.” Josh looked at him and told him that it was classified, then he pulled out a book and flipped through the pages. He closed the book and said, “Kronos from section 19, you were imprisoned for trying to rewrite the the universe by going back to the beginning of time.” Kronos told Josh that he did go a little crazy with his power, but now he has turned over a new leaf. Kronos pointed at me and said,”and to prove it, I am using this kid to save the a whole world.” Josh looked at me and waved his hand, the raptor skin disappeared and I regained my human form. Josh began laughing and said, “How funny it is that a parallel version of my friends kid would be here, fine, I will lift your sentence if you show me that you are a changed man.” Josh disappeared, I returned to my raptor form and Kronos began to explain to me what was going to happen next.

Kronos was going to hitch a ride on my time line and take me to the point in time where I just went through the portal. My self of the past will fuse with the future me and there is no telling what will happen to me. Kronos will appear next to where my past self is and his body that is in the chest will fuse with his future self. After that, we will go our separate ways and I will look for a way to get back to the island surrounded by the storm and tell my world that the world I was in was uninhabitable. If I didn't tell my world that this side of the portal was uninhabitable, they would eventually find a way through and the world will once again fall into chaos. I asked Kronos why he couldn't just take me there and he said, “Time magic takes a lot, I will be drained from using magic for at least a decade, so it is up to you to figure out how to get there. One last thing, when I take you to the past, be sure to grab the satellite phone from the man who brought you to my world, you will be needing it.” Kronos put his hand on me and we flew through time. I could see all the events that I lived through going in reverse. It was as if my life was on fast rewind. Soon the rewind began to slow down and I saw Rina biting on my neck. Her fangs came out of me and she kept rewinding. I watched the man who brought me here, who was sliced into a pieces, come together like a puzzle. I rewound back till I just came out of the portal. I was no longer observing, I was in my younger body and it started to fuse with my older body. My body grew and the raptor tried to take control again. My skin turned scaly again, but then it disappeared again. I felt human, but I could feel the power of the raptor inside me. The fusion was over and I had the ability to see in the dark. I grabbed the satellite phone and took off while yelling at the top of my lungs, “Johnny kill this man.” In seconds the man was ripped apart and Johnny stood in front of me asking me who I was. I looked around and there was no Kronos, but there was a puddle on the ground. I told Johnny to send the vampires he was with away and then we would talk. He told Rina and the rest that he would meet up with them later and they took off. He asked me again, who I was and how I knew him. The puddle began to take form and I told Johnny that I was from the future and that puddle on the ground was Kronos. I told him that I knew he was actually in disguise and his real name was Magnus. I had his attention and so I gave him a story I thought he would fall for. I Kronos continued to form as I told him a story about how the man he just killed was a Vampire activist who told the Vampires about his mission. I told him that after, Magnus had no choice but to eradicate all the vampires with the force of a hundred Mages. I continued by telling him that the vampires were wiped in a day, but after, a creature that called itself the God of vampires showed up and destroyed the entire nation as revenge. Kronos was back to normal and said, “What the boy said is true, you fled to me and asked me to save your nation by preventing the end of the vampires.” Magnus asked why he didn't come with. I told him that the time magic takes a lot of time to activate and the vampire god was breaking through our defenses. I said, “Kronos needed someone to hitch a ride with, so you called me from the front lines and you gave it your all to hold off the vampire god. Your actions gave Kronos the time he needed and we ended up here at this point of time.” Magnus finally accepted our story, but he wanted to know who I was and why I was with the vampire activist. I told him that I was also a vampire activist, but after the vampire god destroyed the nation, I was no longer one.

We talked for a bit, but eventually we came to an conclusion, the way to prevent the vampire god was by ending the war and making the vampire island a no human zone. Since I was a nobody, I was taken to the main land and left on a pier, but Kronos was taken to go talk with the big wigs to discuss the plan to prevent the vampire god. With Kronos gone, I had to find my own way back to the hell hole that I was trapped in for over three years. At least the satellite phone wasn't broken and they gave me a back pack to hold it in. I also put the book I found at the center of the Earth in there, it was cool that the book was able to come with me to the past, I could probably use it to make some money.

Chapter 5

I haven’t had a chance to have fun for so long, I decided I should have a little fun before trying to save the world. I walked around the city and there was all kinds of stuff going on. There were performers on the street and shops on the sidewalks. They sold everything from food to magic and unfortunately, everything cost money. I continued walking and I passed a window, I saw what my body became after the fusion. I looked normal, but my eyes were the eyes of a raptor and if those were part raptor,just how much of me was part raptor.

I finally found a place that didn't take money, it was a huge museum and even though it didn't take money to get in, it had plenty of things inside that took money. There were ancient magical items that you could pay to see if you could use them. There were auction halls were people could bid on relics brought in by people and stuff the museum wanted to get rid of. There were roller coasters and games were people could win prizes. It was like being in the coolest amusement park ever and the only thing inside that was free to do was to look at the exhibits. I entered a exhibit where there were a lot of paintings. There was a man taking a crowd through the exhibit, I got closer and I could hear what he was saying. He looked at me and yelled, “If you want to be part of the tour, you got to pay like everybody else.” I moved ahead of the group and stopped when something caught my eye. It was a field of flowers that I recognized from the island surround by the storm. It was the flowers from the giant fly trap. The man came over with his group and pushed me a side. He started his speech by calling the flowers extinct and that they haven’t been seen in over a thousand years. I started to laugh and the man looked at me and asked what was so funny. I told him that it was funny that he thought they were extinct, because I have seen them. He got very talkative and started to get very defensive. He told me he was an expert on this flower and he told me everything that he knew about them. He said, “These flowers can only grow in rare environments where there is a very shallow lake and lots of humidity.” He just wouldn't shut up about it and eventually I told him to shut up and let him know what they really were. He had a look that said, “This guy is a joke, I know everything, “ and when I finished he went off again and said, “I get an A for imagination, but there is no way that the flowers could be part of a giant fly trap.” I asked him what the flowers would sell for and he told me that the flowers had the ability to heal any disease. There were many different things that the flower did, but one sounded interesting. It was said that the flower gave every individual that ate the flower, gained their own unique magic power. It was said that the greed of the people led the flower to become extinct. It would make sense that the flower existed in a place were there was no humans. He finally got to the part I wanted to hear, he told me that just ten of those flowers could set someone up for life. I had one last thing to say and that was to ask him where I could go to sell an extremely old item. I asked and he told me that if I had an item that was worth any thing, I would have to have it appraised at the auction andphone the museum would either buy it or it will be put in the auction. I walked away right after he told me and I guess he wanted to know what I had, because he asked to see what I had. I turned and said, “I would show you, but you have a group of people who paid good money for a tour and sadly it looks like they aren’t getting the tour they paid for.”

I got in a line and people had all kinds of junk in their hands. A man came down the line and was looking at the objects the people had. People were flying out of the line like crazy. I asked the person in front of me who the man was and he told me he was an appraiser who used a magic that allows him to see the true value in stuff. The appraiser came to the guy in front of me and kicked him out, then he look at me and said, “Your body is very special, some how you manage to do the perfect fusion between a raptor and a human. To the right seller, your body could sell big. I told him that I wasn't here to sell my body, but sell a book. I pulled out the book and he opened it and flipped through the pages. He said, “Very old, foreign language, looks to be a journal of some sort. If I had to guess, it is worth 200 zings for how old it is and depending on what information it holds, it could be worth more.” He moved on and I moved up the line, soon I was brought to a room where a man was brought in to examine the book. He told me that he had a magic that could translate languages. He created a new book that was translated and I got to be the first to read it. It was a journal written by Arne Saknussemm and it had information on the center of the Earth and who built it. The center of the Earth was created as a place to go if the atmosphere ever failed on Earth by a race called the Atlanteans. The bugs were altered to give off solar heat and the solar heat would heat the cave and help the plants thrive. The plants would produce oxygen and convert the particles around them into water. Other plants would produce fruit that had all the supplements that a human body needed to live off of. There were pictures of what the insides of the plants looked like and the bugs. A new guy came in and he examined the translated version of the book. He got up and talked to the appraiser, the appraiser then talked to me. He offered me a deal for the book, his deal was for 300,000 zings. I asked him how much it would cost to buy a ship that can sail into a cyclone. He told me that it would cost 500,000 zings to rent the ship and another 100,000 to pay for a good enough crew to sail it. I told him if he gave me 1,000,000 zings for the book, I would bring him back something from the expedition I was planning on going on that would make it more then worth it. The appraiser told me he would agree, but only if I set up collateral. I asked him what was collateral and he told me it was my body; if I didn't bring back something worth 500,000 then he would sell my body in the auction. I agreed to the terms, signed a paper, and I was taken to the museums banker where I was given 1,000,000 zings.

Before I left the museum, I had the appraiser direct me to a crew that I could use to go places that no one else could. I was looking for a ship called the invincible and all around the peer there was ships that looked like they were falling apart. Did the appraiser send me to a an abandoned port. There was not a soul to be seen, but eventually I found someone fishing on the docks in a tug boat. He looked at me and I asked him if he knew where I could find the ship called the Invincible. The man said, “You know that is a pirate ship right.” I told him I didn't care if it was a pirate ship, I needed them to go somewhere that normal people couldn't go. The man replied and said, “Well weird eyes, where exactly are you planning to go.” I told him that I was planning to go to an island filled with monsters, surrounded by a storm that never stops, to find a flower. He told me to get on the boat and after I got on he told me he was the captain of the Invincible. His name was Captain and that was all, he had no other name. The tug boat started to lift off the water and flew into the sky. It flew through the sky tell it came to a huge ship in the sky with huge white sails and the words Invincible written on the side. Captain said, “I sure hope you brought payment, because if you didn't, you are getting thrown off. I pulled out 500,000 zings and gave it to him and told him if the mission is successful, they will get another 300,000 zings. He laughed and said, “How bout I just keep the 500,000 and kick you off now.” I answered him by saying, “But, then you would miss your chance at a great adventure.” He grabbed me and jumped into the sky, we didn't fall, instead we were flying. I definitely had to acquire this magic thing, because it was as if you could do anything with it. We landed on the ship and he called his crew to gather around. He asked them what they believe a pirate wants most and I heard women, money, and food. Captain then said, “All I hear is things that a pirate wants, but what does a pirate live for.” Everyone was quiet and Captain continued, “A pirate lives for danger, adventure, and of course, freedom. We are already free, so it is about time we go do something extremely dangerous and any body who ain’t a true pirate can leave and spend the rest of their lives with no adventure, no danger, and no freedom.” No one moved and someone finally asked where we were going. Captain looked at me and said, “Weird eyes here has all the answers, so ask him.” Captain walked away and I tried to tell him that my name wasn't weird eyes, but the crew told me to give it up, once Captain gives someone a new name, they were stuck with it forever.

After the Captain left me with a crew, I ended up talking with the navigator about where we were heading. I told him we were looking for a storm that never ended. Turns out that there are over a thousand of those, so I narrowed it down by tell him that it could be seen from land. It got narrowed to 3, until I mentioned that it was a storm that look like a giant cyclone. The navigator set the course and I asked him what his name was. He told me that his name was Navey. As I got to learn the rest of the crews names, I could see that Captains naming sense was a little weird. The cook was food bringer, the best looking guy was Butt face, and the ugliest guy was Pretty Face. The crew was made up of at least 10 guys and 5 women. It was impossible for me to remember them all right away, but in a few days, I should have it down.

On the way I learned who the rest of the crew were. There was a set of theifs that were called Mr. and Mrs. Snatch. Magic gun man whose names were Big boom and Little Boom. There were three women singers who were spys and their names were Melody, Song Bird, and Angel. There was a ship write who was called Old Man, even though he was the youngest man on the ship and a swordsmen who was called Youngster, even though he was the oldest guy on the ship. The last member was a women who was called Light Bulb, because she joined the pirate crew with absolutely no pirate skills and while they were attacking the ship she was on. The crew was always lively, so the time went by fast and soon we were at the storm. The storm was massive and even the pirates thought it was crazy to fly through it, but that didn't stop us. Captain took the helm and he yelled at Butt Face to put up a barrier. Butt Face used barrier magic and he always had it surrounding him, that's how he always stays pretty, but when he didn't have a barrier around him his forehead expanded. I finally understood why he was called Butt Face and it was because his forehead look like a little butt. Butt extended his barrier and covered the ship, Captain yelled to the crew, telling them that these storms were unpredictable and we should be ready for anything.

We entered the storm and the ship was protected by Butt Faces barrier. Everything was going smooth, until it felt like we hit a wall. The barrier started to disappear and the winds came slamming through. Everyone grabbed something to hold on to and then things got worse. The magic that made the ship fly disappeared and we were all ripped upward as the ship fell downward. I saw Pretty Face ripped away and taken into the storm, everyone else managed to hold on, but it was incredibly hard, especially since the ship started spinning like crazy. It was five minutes of hell, but it was over once the ship was spat out of storm. We were still falling, but I had a full view of the island I spent 3 years on. The ship was destroyed, one of the mast were missing and the sails were shredded. To make matters worse, we were still falling and the impact of hitting the water from this height would destroy the ship into a million pieces. The water was coming fast, but Captain took the helm and the ship once again came alive. Butt Face stood up and put up a barrier around the ship. The ship couldn't stop in time and we hit the water. Cracks appeared all over the barrier and then it broke apart. Waves came down from both sides and Captain took the ship back up into the air. The captain needed a place to land, so he could recover, so I told him to take it over to the cliff, next to the the stone house on the right side of the island. The ship wasn't flying smooth at all and it was losing altitude like crazy. The ship started hitting the trees and it started to slow down, soon it emerged from the trees and slid on the rock for a little bit. We were at least 300 yards away from the forest and a mile away from the cliff. It may not have seemed far, but it was close enough to the forest the the critters would venture out to find out what we were. We needed to move fast. I yelled out to everyone that we need to get as far away from this place as possible. They stood there tell Captain gave the order to move the ship. Everyone jumped off the ship and using their magic to push the ship. I could sense creatures coming from the distance, so I yelled out that we had company coming and Big Boom and Little Boom took the stage. Big Boom said, “It is time for the boom.” Little boom raised his hands and I could see gas shooting out of his hands. Big boom did a long swing punch over Little Booms hands and a huge fireball appeared and was sent flying towards the forest. A creature emerged from the forest that I clearly remembered. It was a creature that looked like a giant frog with spikes all over its back that were deadly to touch. It swatted the fireball away and it hit the forest and burst into flames. I told everybody how it moves, what it not to touch, and where its weak spot was. Youngster took the field and he said that he was to old for this kind of stuff. The frog tried to hit Youngster, but he swatted it away with a magic sword and then it grew five times his size and he sliced the frog in half, then he shrunk the sword and stabbed it in the weak spot. The frog went down and I told every one not to relax, because five more came shooting out of the forest. I wished I had the raptors power and claws, but I had no claws and I had about a fourth of the power I use to have. The Booms were ready, because they launched an even stronger attack that wiped two of the frogs out. Youngster took care of two of the frogs and Food Bringer hit one of the frogs with a magic pan and flipped it on the pan as he threw spices on it. He then threw it up and had Youngster send it flying back into the forest. Youngster made the frog smell so good that every creature would be to busy trying to eat it, instead of us. It gave us all the time we needed to move the ship away from the forest.

The ship was in horrible shape and Captain demanded to know why I took his crew through a storm that had an anti magic wall imbedded inside it. I told him that I didn't know that there was a anti magic wall. He demanded to know where such a young kid could know so much about a place, but not about it being guarded by an anti magic wall. I told him the truth and that I was sent here by magic, lived here for three years, and later escaped by magic. Captain asked Light Bulb if I was telling the truth and she told him I was. Captain told me that they never told me what Light Bulbs magic was, her magic was the ability to tell if someone was telling the truth or not. I was lucky that I told the truth or else he would have killed me on the spot. Captain demanded to know what flower was worth losing Pretty Face for, having his ship end up in the condition it was in, and Butt Face having both his arms broken, because he was trying to hold the barrier. I told him I was sorry that Pretty Face was gone, but this flower had the ability to cure any illness, was said to be extinct a thousand years ago, and was said that just a few of them could set someone up for life. Light Bulb confirmed what I said was true. Captain told me that he needed to recover for the trip back, so I had to go and fetch these flowers without him. He offered his crew to help, but there was no way that I could bring people with me into that forest without getting them killed. I know how that forest works and only I could make the journey. On my way out of the ship, Captain told me not to worry about Pretty Face, he will turn up eventually.

When I was far enough away from the ship, I made my call. What I was about to say, I thought about a million times, and it was finally time to say it. I called my mom and she answered, I said, “Mom, its your son, I made it to the other side of the portal, but I do not have much time.” My mom was frantic and I needed her to believe this side was impossible to go to. I continued, “The portal took me to a world with heavy radiation. The guy I was with was killed instantly after a few steps, this place is not safe to come to, I love you Mom, tell Dad I love him, too.” I could hear her crying, she cried and cried while telling me that she loved me. I told her that I was starting to feel the radiation, I was going to hang up, so she didn't have to hear her son die. I told her one last time that I loved her and she pleaded me not to hang up. I turned off the phone and then I removed the battery and destroyed the phone with a rock, until it was in as many pieces as I could make it into. I scattered the pieces as far as I could throw them and moved on to finding the flower.

The island was as dangerous as I remembered, but I knew what I was doing. I traveled between the territories of the monsters and checked the tracks to make sure there weren’t any creatures around. It seemed as if everything was going well, but then I heard screaming from behind me. Mr. and Mrs. Snatch came flying out of no where, followed by Youngster flying backwards. Youngster was stopped by a tree and he bounced back just in time to strike the creature that sent him flying. The creature was the crocodile gorilla, I told Youngster we had to move fast, before the rest of the pack arrives. Mr. and Mrs. Snatch came right back with another dangerous creature. This creature was the T-Rex with the spine on its back. It saw the gorilla by itself and went after it,instead of us. I told everybody we had to move fast. They followed me closely and we came exploding out of the forest to where the giant fly traps were. We could finally take a breather, but I was wrong, because Mr. Snatch saw the flowers and walked into the field. I moved as fast as I could and threw him out of the field, but the flowers started to wrap themselves around me. I pulled out a machete and began wacking the flowers off. The ground lifted and I was still stuck. It was trying to make me fall deeper into the field. I held on tight to one of the flowers and I could see the water draining into the mouth at the center. When I got high enough, I could see smoke coming from one of the beaches. My focus returned to the fly trap when the flower I was holding began withdrawing into the ground. I acted fast and pushed off the ground and let go of the ground while letting go of the flower. I fell strait toward the mouth and I had no clue what awaited for me there.

I fell through the mouth and with the little light that entered the mouth, I saw a pool of blood. I landed in the blood, swam back up, and witched the mouth close above me. It was pitch black, but soon a small light appeared in the distance. I swam to the light and it was a small island with a light post. There was a single tree on the island and when I stepped onto the island, it took human form. It looked like a women, but it was still attached to the ground and she spoke in a language that I couldn't understand. Roots came out of the ground and grabbed my arms, I was brought to my knees and more roots went into my ears. I was taken away and found my self looking into the past of the plant. It was like what happened when Rina bit me. The plant was created in a lab and was very small. It was the size of a queen size bed and they feed it bugs. The plant produced flowers that the people harvested and it wasn't alone, there was a whole facility of the plants. It listened to the people talk and it learned the language. One day it took a form and talked to one of the harvesters, the harvester freaked out and ran away. The plant was moved out of the facility where it was studied by scientist and they would talk to it many times. The plants started producing a fruit that gave people magic powers. The plants were the source of all magic, the world went crazy over them. Unfortunately, the other plants started talking and they were cleared to all be destroyed. They called them abominations, the people had what they wanted, the plants were useless now. One of the scientist couldn't bear to destroy the plant he befriended, so he took the plant to the island where they released all the animals that were to dangerous to keep at. I watched centuries pass by and the plant grew and grew, until it became what it was today. Then I saw memories it shouldn't of had, it should the point of time where I first made it onto the island. I watched as I fell asleep on the tree in the middle. As the nights went by, I saw the tree turn into the women and brush my hair. Her roots spread throughout the entire island and for the three years I was on the island, she kept protecting me. I would have never survived if it wasn't for her, she saved my life a ridiculously amount of times. She was my protector and then I was pulled back into reality. She spoke again and this time I could understand her. She said, “I remember, you look better than you did before.” We talked for a bit and she told me that when she linked her self to my brain, she was able to tap into her memories of the other time line that no longer existed. In that time line, she acted as my protector and decided to protect me from the shadows. She apologized for trying to kill me and told me that the people I was with were alright. She told me that she would return me to the surface and let me take as much flowers as I needed. I told her that I couldn't leave now, because if I did, she would be all alone again. She couldn't let me waste the rest of my life on this island, so she told me she would unroot herself and come with me. Before she unrooted herself, she gave me a fruit that she has been working on for centuries. She told me if I ate it, it would give me the ability to do magic. I took a bit and it tasted like a juicy strawberry mango, with a tangy after taste. It was the most delicious thing I have ever eaten and when it was gone, she turned into a wooden staircase. I climbed the stairs and the ground opened up for me. I climbed out of the hole and I was next to the tree that I use to sleep in. The tree shrank and took the form of a women again. She had clothes and even though she was a tree, she had white skin like me. I guess a magic tree has all kinds of abilities, I wonder what her other powers are.

The group were in a hole digging, so they didn't see me coming. When they saw me, they became excited, but then they saw an unfamiliar women and backed up. I told them that it was all right, because she was my mother. I do not know why I called her my mother, but after I did, she became very happy. I guess if any one could replace my mother in this world, it would be her. They asked me what her name was and she answered and said, “My name is Gaia and I am a Mage that uses nature magic.” We made up this big story about how my mom was swallowed by the plant and I left to get help. When I was swallowed, I found my mom treating the plant inside, because it was in pain. We fixed the problem and it let us go. After we finished making up a story, I remembered the smoke I saw and told everyone about it. We decided to go check it out after gathering some of the plants. With Gaias help, we were easily able to find where the smoke was coming from. A women in tattered clothes sitting by a fire and next to the fire was a pile of dead creatures. We approached the woman and then Mrs. Snatch said, “Hey Pretty Face, I see you are still alive.” I stopped and said, “Wait, Pretty Face is a women.” Mr. Snatch said, “No, he just looks like one, he has regeneration magic, but he doesn't like to use it because it brings back his girlish figure.” Pretty Face told him to watch what he says and Mr. Snatch backed off. Pretty Face must have been seriously strong to be able defeat all the creatures that he did. My thought was broken when Gaia said, “My sons first love is a guy.” I wasn't the first to react, it was Pretty Face and he said, “Preposterous, I have had a relationship with a minor, they would throw me out of the educational system.” I got into the conversation and said, “One, aren't you a pirate and two, mom why would you think a guy is my first love.” My mom quietly said, “Sorry, I have been alone for a long time, my thoughts kind of go crazy.” Then, Pretty Face said, “I am a pirate during the summer, but the rest of the year, I am the head master at the largest magic school in the country, Mag-U.” I told him that I never heard of it and he continued, “Mag-U is a school that teaches every thing and every age. Students are placed in sections of the school, depending on where they qualify. People under 18 get in for free, but after 18, it cost money. The higher the section, the more it cost to be in that class.” I stopped him by saying that we needed to get back to the ship. Then my mom started him up again, by saying that I should enroll in the school. We walked all the way around the island to get back, listening to them talk about getting me into class. By the time we made it to the ship, Gaia was an expert on how to get me enrolled in school.

The ship looked great, Old Man really new his stuff and he even reinforced the bottom for the trip back. We all got on and ship and Captain raised it off the ground. We flew away and I looked at the island one last time, well hopefully it is the last time I ever see this island. From the sides of the ship, walls appeared and formed a ceiling over the mast. The ship was changed so that it could be used as a spear to be shot through the storm. Captain pushed the ship to full speed and we felt it when the ship hit the storm. It wasn't long until we hit the anti-magic wall and were sent falling down again, but this time it wasn't a high drop and we all grabbed oars and started rowing. Water came gushing in though the cracks, but soon the water turned to sunlight and when Captains magic returned, we took off into the sky.

June 22nd, 2014, 04:10 PM
"and I do well in them, because I am insanely competitive."--omit the comma

"I love anime, I love it so much that I wish I could enter the anime world."--should be two sentences

"and for the past year, their work took them away..."--omit the comma

I started reviewing this before I saw how long it is. I looked at chapter one and will come back when I have more time and read more later. The main thing I noticed is the usage of commas in places they don't really belong. Also, the first chapter could use a little filling out. It feels like a rough draft where you've written down the order of what will happen in the chapter. It is interesting but needs details and fleshing out.

June 22nd, 2014, 04:45 PM
What you're missing is the pacing. It's like you're just stating it all. You went through a lot in two paragraphs, the end of the first chapter and the beginning of the second. You should elongate them, really involve the reader into the main character.

Add dialogue, action, emotions, faces, all that.

SInce something is up with my copy and paste, I have to go off the example I was going to make for you from memory alone:

Stepping off the plane I felt something was wrong. It had been gnawing at me the whole flight. Down the landing, I checked the area. My eyes tried to capture everything at once, to find an ounce of danger in the area that would confirm my fear. I didn't find any so I dropped my guard and walked off onto the landing. It must've been all in my head. Or anticipation for my parent's new device. I wonder what it was, and why I was invited to go and check it out. I've never been asked before...

I didn't hear the foot fall until the cold barrel of the pistol was pressed hard up against my head.
"Hello, Zidus, ready to see your parents?" said the owner of the gun. I dared not even breath, let alone answer the man...

See? the reader is more there with the kid in the action of it, and it answers some questions, like he just agrees to be put in chains? It lets the reader know something isn't right with this whole thing

June 23rd, 2014, 02:40 AM
I appreciate the input and it has really shown me just how much I got to learn. Hopefully one day I will be able to write as good as the writers here

June 23rd, 2014, 03:33 PM
So last night I had an amazing dream that I found really awesome. It went like this
The dream started out with me going on a mission. I had to do a riddle to find out the location of a special spider. The problem was,was that an evil organization was after the spider to. The spider was small, so when I solved the riddle, I used a magic that made me small. The answer to the riddle was boo town which was a town that was abandoned because it was said to have ghosts. I showed up and turned small and started looking for the spider, but I couldn't find it. Soon the people from the evil organization showed up and started looking for it. I came close to being discovered by them and I knew if they found me, we would end up fighting, so I hid under a sewage grate and then climbed up a light post and jumped onto the roof of the towns library. Then I saw it and I knew it was the spider everybody was looking for. It was made out of jewels, even its eyes were jewels. It was a living jewel creature, it was no wonder everybody was after it. It was at that time I thought, I need to keep this away from the world to protect it and then I woke up.

Now I plan to put it in this story, but I will make changes to it, then when I update the chapter, people can see how my dreams become part of the story.

July 26th, 2017, 01:51 AM
I rather liked it. But I do agree with most of what Riptide said. You need to work on pacing and imagery. With th at said it's still amazing and I look forward to the next part. I can't wait to see what happens when every one returns. 😉

max acorn
August 31st, 2017, 03:15 AM
like others have said, the pacing is a problem. a bit too fast and not enough fleshing out for my tastes. but there is room to grow.

Jay Greenstein
September 1st, 2017, 02:27 AM
From start to finish, this is you, transcribing yourself telling the story aloud. But can that work? When you read it, you can hear your performance, so the voice you hear is that of the protagonist telling the story to a friend. And because it is a performance your voice is filled with the emotion that illustrates how protagonist would would tell the story in person. And as you read, you use intensity, cadence, timbre, and all the tricks of vocal storytelling to make the story live. And were you with the audience you would use gesture to visually punctuate. You'd use strategically placed pauses, and little rushes to enhance the telling. your expression, your eye movement, and your body language all contribute to the experience. But you aren't with the audience. You're communicating by way of a medium that reproduces emotion only as a function of punctuation and what the words suggest to the reader as they read. And that suggestion is based on their experience and background, not your intent.

So, how much of that performance makes it to the page? Not a trace. And since the reader doesn't know what a given line will say till after it's read, they can't even guess. Have your computer read this aloud to hear how different the version the reader "hears" is from what you intend them to get.

My point is that because no one tells us, in our school days, that writing fiction for the page is very different from other storytelling mediums, our verbal storytelling skills, and the nonfiction writing skills we learned in school, are inappropriate to our medium. So it's not a matter of writing skill or potential, it's that you need to add the tricks of fiction to your existing skill-set, and use them for recording your stories. The local library's fiction writing section is a great resource, and a good place to begin.

But whatever you do, hang in there, and keep on writing.

Jack of all trades
September 1st, 2017, 08:50 AM
This piece was posted a little over three years ago. I'm not even sure if the OP is still an active member.

Olly Buckle
September 1st, 2017, 09:14 AM
This piece was posted a little over three years ago. I'm not even sure if the OP is still an active member.
So? We don't impose time limits. Check the OP's profile and you will see 'Last activity 2017-08-30 07:47' , day before yesterday, let's stick to criting the OP rather than subsequent posts aimed at it.