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caters
June 21st, 2014, 08:34 AM
Here is the first chapter of my Rubik's World novel:

There was a world with Rubiks cubes. There was a limited carrying capacity to all up to the equivalent of a 17x17. First, there were hundreds of 1x1s. Then there were x-8 1x1s left and 1 2x2. 26 1x1s make up a 3x3 so that meant 1 3x3, 1 2x2, and x-34 1x1s. The cubes formed first, than cuboids, than tetrahedra, than octahedra, than dodecahedra, than icosahedra and other shapes until there was only 1 1x1. The 1x1 was sad and wanted some friends but all of these puzzles are bigger than the 1x1 is by a lot. He wondered if this would affect friendship with other cubes. It turns out that it did not affect friendship. He was able to make friends easily with other cubes. He eventually made friends with the 17x17, which is the largest cube ever that was not programmed. There was now a friendship network between one cube and all other cubes. There were 153 friendships which is the 17th triangular number. The 1x1 was special because he was never scrambled no matter the orientation. The cubes, cuboids, dodecahedra, tetrahedra, octahedra, icosahedra, and other shapes all had their little networks. The 1x1 was still sad because he was so small. I mean the 17x17 is much, much larger than the 1x1. To be exact there are 1,538 cubies the size of a 1x1 in a 17x17. Now that if the 1x1 weighed 1 gram would be 1.538 kilograms. Of course, the 3x3 does not weigh in at 26 grams so the 17x17 is much heavier than 1.538 kilograms. 1 3x3 Rubiks cube weighs 6.4 ounces or approximately 182 grams. 182/26=seven. If one 1x1 cube weighs in at 7 grams than a 17x17 weighs 10,776 grams which is 10.776 kilograms. That is 23 pounds approximately. The network of friendships of the perfect cubes was eventually known collectively as The Cubes. All cubes were special in a way like 1x1 always being solved and 17x17 being the largest of the cubes. Powers of two were male and so were the 1x1, 5x5, 11x11, and 17x17. All others were female. They wondered what would happen if 2 of the cubes had offspring. Would it be a larger cube than either of its parents? Would it be the same size as 1 of its parents? Would it be the integer value right in between them? Would it be smaller than either of its parents? Would it ever grow? Each one had a different hypothesis. The 1x1 said, I hypothesize that it starts off as a 1x1 and then grows to a determined size. The 2x2 said I hypothesize that it will be the larger cube the smaller cube in size once it grows up. The 3x3 said I hypothesize that it is going to be the integer value right in the middle of the range or if there is no integer median the larger of the 2 middle values. The 4x4 said the same thing except that he thought that it would be the smaller of the two middle values. The 5x5 said, I think it is going to be the size of the smaller of its parents. They all seemed to have growth in their hypothesis. The 6x6 said I think it is going to be the sum of the 2 sizes. The 7x7 thought that it would be the size of the larger of its parents. The other 5 thought that they were born fully-grown and that they would just have to develop skills but in the order of the hypotheses from 2x2s hypothesis to 6x6s hypothesis. The last 5 thought that they would start at a particular value other than 1x1 and then add, subtract, or stay the same size. This is now a good time to start investigating. They first counted the number of females and males and got 8 males and 9 females. 8 pairs would be tested and a female would keep track of the development. They thought that the 3x3 should keep track of the development since it has the most knowledge out of all the cubes. Here were the remaining M-F (male-female) pairs:
1x1-6x6
2x2-7x7
4x4-9x9
5x5-10x10
8x8-12x12
11x11-13x13
16x16-14x14
17x17-15x15
Each female cube opened up its yellow center so that the males sperm could come inside and they would mate easily. The 1x1 had to turn into a 3x3 the same size and then his sperm could come out. He then turned back into a 1x1. The 6.4 ounce 3x3 kept track of the pregnancy in each pair. It turned out that they went from a tiny little cell to a 1x1 cube for all of them. The birth was easy. The females just had to open their yellow centers and the little 1x1s came out. 1x1s hypothesis was right and for the ones that did not think that they started at 1x1 they are wrong and so the 3x3 put a checkmark next to 1x1s hypothesis and Xs next to each hypothesis from 8x8s to 17x17s. This narrowed it down dramatically to 2x2s, 3x3s, 4x4s, 5x5s, 6x6s, and 7x7s hypotheses. Now the long wait has come. After 18 years when they knew that they would all be adults the 3x3 determined that it was larger cube-smaller cube, which is 2x2s hypothesis. That means that the offspring are these cubes: 4 5x5s, 1 4x4, and 2 2x2s. Now we can calculate the average growth rate of layers. 18/4=4.5 so each of the 4 layers around the 1x1 took 4.5 years to grow for the 4 5x5s. For the 4x4 each layer around the 1x1 took 18/3=6 years. For the 2x2 it was a 1x1 for 18 years and then when it turned 18 it became a 2x2. They wondered if it is true every time that it starts at 1x1 and grows as 2x2 explained to the difference between the sizes of the cubes or if there are factors that can make 3x3s, 4x4s, 5x5s, 6x6s, or 7x7s hypothesis true. They put five pairs of cubes in five different conditions and three as controls. Here were the conditions:
Cold
Sterile
High water
High food
Hot

It turns out that all the highs except for hot conditions and sterile conditions lead to higher amounts than 2x2s hypothesis and the other two lead to lower amounts.

In the cold, the 3x3 noticed that there were more layers in adulthood, specifically the higher of the middle values. In high water conditions, it was the smaller of the middle values. In high food conditions, it was the sum of the two during adulthood and surgery had to be done during birth because it was so large. These cubes were special in that if the whole cube is taken apart the blood vessels are automatically cauterized and if put back together the reverse happens. This way they can survive almost indefinitely. Sterile conditions lead to higher birth rate but all stayed 1x1s. Hot conditions lead to death of 1x1 before birth. This meant that birth is dependent on genetics as to what it should be and external factors like temperature as to what it actually is. This was a big discovery that everybody heard about from The Cubes They decided that the extra cubes go out there and do what they want while the original 17 cubes stay together.

It fits 12 pages in a size 28 font so I know that this is a long chapter. I could separate this into paragraphs but other than that is there anything in my grammar or my spelling or my punctuation that I could improve?

I looked up synonyms for cube and 1 is very specific and the other is very broad. Specifically they are die and hexahedron.

die is the singular of dice and is a cube that is often used in board games.

hexahedron means any 6 sided shape and that includes the pentagonal pyramid, cuboids, cubes, triangular dipyramid etc.

Because of this I use cube whenever I refer to 3x3, 4x4 etc. Some other words have very similar synonyms and not so similar ones. Like beginning vs birth. Yes they both refer to the start of something but 1 of them is used more broadly than the other one is. On the other hand, birth vs childbirth are near synonyms meaning they have the most similarity. Very rarely if at all there are perfect or exact synonyms.

More often occurring are perfect antonyms where 2 words have exactly opposite definitions.

Anyway other than the paragraphs and the telling that is likely there can I improve anything? I have gotten to writing chapter 3 and have neared the end of it but that isn't far into the novel.

boxofbizarro
June 21st, 2014, 10:24 AM
My brain hurts. Don't misconstrue that for dislike. A few editing discrepancies, but all in all, very...bizarro. You seem to be using "than" rather than "then." I feel like you are catering to a very specific audience. If you are planning on getting it published, I am not sure that many companies would consider it. If you are self publishing, you are running the risk of being over most people's heads. I know of only one actually (off of the top of my head) that may consider it, but even then only if you dumbed it down some for the less mathy types. Not bad writing though.

aliveatnight
June 21st, 2014, 04:53 PM
My brain hurts. Don't misconstrue that for dislike. A few editing discrepancies, but all in all, very...bizarro. You seem to be using "than" rather than "then." I feel like you are catering to a very specific audience. If you are planning on getting it published, I am not sure that many companies would consider it. If you are self publishing, you are running the risk of being over most people's heads. I know of only one actually (off of the top of my head) that may consider it, but even then only if you dumbed it down some for the less mathy types. Not bad writing though.
Exactly this. Good writing, but I cannot follow it. But then again, I'm absolutely awful at math, so perhaps that is to be expected. I do think that this is a very interesting idea though.

caters
June 21st, 2014, 07:25 PM
well this is my first time really writing a 3D novel so to speak. All the videos I have watched related to twisty puzzles and all the research I have done on twisty puzzles have inspired me to make this novel.

People who really love rubiks cubes will like this for sure when it is finished and when I say any nxn which could be 1x1, 3x3, 17x17 or anything in between I am referring to the puzzle itself but when I say 7 g per cubie * x cubies = y g I am calculating the weight of a particular cubic or cuboidal puzzle. When I say the hypotheses with things like larger of middle values, sum, difference etc. I am referring to what a certain cube thinks the offspring will be based on the male-female pair.

While there are a few complicated things in the first chapter the rest of the complicated stuff is spread throughout the novel.