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Riptide
May 25th, 2014, 04:06 AM
The tree's darkened embrace cloaked my presence. Darkness crept up my fingers, lacing between to form a black covering. I dropped from the branch I was perched on into the damp mud. My bare feet lightly pushing in their indention. I looked up. The moon shone my only light.

Grinning, I dove forward into the trees. Branches broke under the force of my blackened claws. My two fangs nearly touching my bottom lip. I pulled back on my charge. My blonde hair smacked me in the face. There was a blaze up ahead. I could smell the burnt wood and feel the heat. I circled around, keeping an eye on the distant flame. . I edged closer.

Noises of eating, a newly killed boar scent drifted into my nose. I kept it there, entangling its with the nights own charm. I exhaled, my tongue slathering my lips. Food. Closer, I saw the men. Young men, barely graduates from the village. My eyes altered to green, I could tell in the color change. I flicked darkness from my fingers, allowing it to slithered towards the group. They laughed, heartily eating their hunt around the fire. Boys, nothing more. I step towards them, my lips stretching farther across my face. One turned, his own smile vanishing at the sight of my enlarged fangs, my submerged in darkness hands and my green eyes.

He jumped, bumbling with his words, pointing in my direction. I shook my head no, closing my eyes in the process for a drawn out blink. His face grew white, terror seeping into his eyes. His friends turned, and soon their faces mirrored his. I rose my fingers as if twitching towards the sky and the darkness I had sent early wrapped tenderly around each one of the boy's leg, immobilizing them.

Their eyes darted across the night, but escape was no where in sight. I gently placed my palm onto the first boys chest. “Shhh. No need to worry or fret. I'll take my meal, and be on my way.” I nabbed the roasting pig. Winking at the boy, I walked back. I wonder why they always seem so frightened, like I wanted anything more than a midnight snack.

TylerMartin
June 1st, 2014, 06:11 AM
I really enjoyed reading your story. It was suspenseful and cleverly written. Your descriptions gave a sense of quickness, and I felt lie I was running through the woods myself. Although, maybe I don't have enough knowledge in this genre, but I was confused about the creature telling this story. Is it a vampire? A werewolf? Whatever it is, I was able to feel the fear of the boys around the fire. Good job!

TylerMartin
June 1st, 2014, 06:16 AM
I really enjoyed reading your story. It was suspenseful and cleverly written. Your descriptions gave a sense of quickness, and I felt lie I was running through the woods myself. Although, maybe I don't have enough knowledge in this genre, but I was confused about the creature telling this story. Is it a vampire? A werewolf? Whatever it is, I was able to feel the fear of the boys around the fire. Good job!

Riptide
June 1st, 2014, 04:57 PM
Thanks! The creature is just something from my imagination, so no real label.

aliveatnight
June 1st, 2014, 05:07 PM
I agree with TylerMartin. This was well written, and I kept reading, wondering what was going to happen. I could picture it perfectly, from the darkness of the night to the terrified faces of the boys. Great job!

Ceremony
June 2nd, 2014, 04:42 AM
I third that! Very well written and interesting with a nice little twist at the end. Loved it!