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View Full Version : Novella description - too short??



Tyler Danann
March 26th, 2014, 08:42 PM
Just managed to get my novella up onto Amazon Kindle, however I am burned out and have really gone short for the 'back cover'

Here's what I buzzed out, not sure if it's good but here it is:

Into a hostile world three tribes - House Kaslar, House Soliter and House Vril set out to make their homelands a better place.

Advanced ways and nomadic strife combine to as jeopardy threatens from both within and without.

With an ancient race awakening the tree tribes must put aside their differences or risk losing their very souls forever!

A_Jones
March 26th, 2014, 09:30 PM
I think its too short. You have just described two books I own at home. Make sure to include what makes in special. Why do you think it deserves to be read. Put that into words. Good luck.

Tyler Danann
March 26th, 2014, 10:25 PM
I'll work on it, thanks.

Trygve
March 28th, 2014, 02:40 AM
What A_Jones said, and I'm not sure what you mean:
combine to as jeopardy threatens
and I think there should be a comma after "awakening" unless an ancient race is awakening the tree tribes.
awakening, the tree tribes

Tyler Danann
April 6th, 2014, 08:55 PM
Ok this is the latest incarnation! :)

As the Golden Age ends the time of adversity begins...
For a combined effort to seize a long-lost legacy amid distant stars soon unfolds into a fight for survival.

Into a hostile world three tribes - House Kaslar, House Soliter and House Vril set out to make their homelands a better place.

Advanced ways and nomadic strife combine as jeopardy threatens from both within and without. Led by the Way Captain only perilous daring can see them survive the horrors that await them.

With an ancient race awakening it's a race against time as the three tribes must put aside their differences or risk losing their very souls forever!

dmr400
May 24th, 2014, 07:35 AM
I think the rewrite is much better! In todays age of the kindle writing riveting descriptions and opening sample chapters is more important than ever. I think that I would work on finding new synonyms to use for "perilous daring", those two don't quite work for me but I'm tired enough that a helpful suggestion is eluding me at this point.

Gofa
May 30th, 2014, 07:53 PM
I would try "quickly evolves" instead of "soon unfolds" into a fight