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Dyadyushka Denis
January 4th, 2014, 07:57 PM
Once upon a time, in winter, Uncle Denis decided to grow a foresty beard to stroke it during gardening thoughts. When Uncle Denis\'s Brain has learned about it, he was terribly against it, because, as he thought, to have a foresty beard is not a Tsar thing.


Uncle Denis\'s Brain decided to make Uncle Denis grow a Tsar Beard, not a foresty beard. As Uncle Denis\'s Brain is a Mighty and Great Tsar, but not a worthless villein.

Firstly, Uncle Denis\'s Brain decided to persuade Uncle Denis\'s Brain to grow a Tsar Beard.

Rustling slyly, Uncle Denis\'s Brain started to note to Uncle Denis the various advantages of the Tsar Beard ,hinting about its farming benefits:

1) In autumn you can sweep paths in the garden with the help of the Tsar Beard,cleaning them from leaves, better than every broom;

2) Birds can nest in the Tsar Beard, and Uncle Denis can watch them closely.


3) If birds don\'t want to live in the Tsar Beard, Uncle Denis can share with them a tiny bit of the Tsar Beard ( as birds don\'t need much), so the birds can warm up their nest in a birds\' house with a tsar beard.


4) You can carry water in the Tsar Beard -throw it in a tin barrel, wet well and when the tsar beard absorbs enough water, take it from the barrel and carry to water garden crops-very useful. 


But Uncle Denis\'s Brain\'s cunning plan was not successful. Uncle Denis just simply said to Uncle Denis\'s Brain that the same stuff can be done with a foresty beard, and it will even be better, because foresty beard is closer to the wood, closer to the nature.

Than Uncle Denis\'s Brain decided to carry on with more cunning and Tsar Intensions.

While Uncle Denis\'s Brain was thinking about a plan to prevent a foresty beard from growing, the summer started and the beard has grown, branchy and curly. 

And once, in an early summer morning, Uncle Denis\'s Brain forced Uncle Denis to go to the garage and find some super glue "Kolenkor" over there. Uncle Denis\'s Brain explained to
Uncle Denis that the glue is necessary to repair Tsar Boots and to glue Golden tassels to the boots. But actually, Uncle Denis\'s Brain decided to ruin the foresty beard, gluing it somewhere and then tearing off.


Uncle Denis trusted Uncle Denis\'s Brain, and Uncle Denis\'s Brain,gloating quietly for Uncle Denis not to hear, forced Uncle Denis to go to the textile shop as if to buy tassels, which will later be Tsar Golden Tassels.

On the way to the shop Uncle Denis\'s Brain and Uncle Denis met a lorry with the words "Bread, be full and healthy". Uncle Denis\'s Brain suddenly realized that he can tear off the foresty beard with the help of the lorry, and forced Uncle Denis to go to the shop to buy glue "Kolenkor" even quicker to have time to glue the beard to the lorry till it hasn\'t gone yet. In the shop Uncle Denis\'s Brain forced Uncle Denis to buy some tape as well. Cause it will be useful in household, the Brain assured Uncle Denis.



On the way back, coming closer to the lorry, saying "Bread, be full and healthy", Uncle Denis\'s Brain noticed that the lorry has started and is about to go. Then Uncle Denis\'s Brain was cunning and made Uncle Denis to come really close to the lorry to read a sign on it, because otherwise it is difficult to see.

But when only Uncle Denis pottered to the lorry, Uncle Denis\'s Brain forced him with a Tsar decree to pour a half of tube of glue "Kolenkor" to the foresty beard and touch a lorry wall with it. More than that, Uncle Denis\'s Brain made Uncle Denis to wind a foresty beard to the van with a tape, to tear off the foresty beard for sure.


The lorry "Bread, be full and healthy" started and Uncle Denis run after it. Uncle Denis was running after the lorry for about 500 meters. The summer sun was burning heavily. Uncle Denis was so tired to run that he was very sweaty, and decided to rest, stopped and hung on the lorry\'s wall. This very moment the tape unstuck, the glue became weak because of the sweat, and 
Uncle Denis and Uncle Denis\'s Brain flew straight to the roadside ditch, facing with a vacuum cranium.


Geese were grazing in the ditch that time. Uncle Denis and Uncle Denis\'s Brain suddenly landed next to them.Geese didn\'t expect this and scattered. Uncle Denis\'s Brain, noticing geese running away, rustled conceitedly and stated out loud that Uncle Denis\'s Brain is a Mighty and Great Tsar.



And then, all the geese as one turned back and rushed to Uncle Denis and Uncle Denis\'s Brain and started to pinch hard a vacuum cranium. Feeling afraid for the cranium, Uncle Denis\'s Brain forced Uncle Denis to go as quickly as he could to Uncle Denis\'s garden. In the garden Uncle Denis\'s Brain and Uncle Denis jumped to the raspberry bushes and hid there, waiting for the geese to stroll away. 

Uncle Denis\'s Brain found out that the geese followed him and Uncle Denis because they are jealous of Uncle Denis\'s Brain, as he is a Mighty and Great Tsar and the geese - pitiful and trifling slaves.

From those times Uncle Denis kept his foresty beard. And Uncle Denis\'s Brain, to show his Tsar greatness, has made a Tsar Look and Majestly Glowing Tsar Glasses.

This Great and Notable Regal Article was generated by The Uncle Dennisís Brain, the Great and Mighty Tsar (Immortal Father the Tsar).

Caragula
January 4th, 2014, 08:59 PM
Hard to explain why, but I liked this a lot :) I also like the ICQ symbol, it's been about fifteen years since I last saw that!!

Crying
January 4th, 2014, 09:36 PM
I actually really, really liked this too. :>

Kevin
January 4th, 2014, 11:29 PM
Once upon a time, in winter, Uncle Denis decided to grow a foresty-beard to stroke it during gardening thoughts. - so that he might stroke it while thinking his gardening thoughts.

Denis\'s Brain has learned about it, he was terribly eliminate 'has'

villein. Such a fine word...root of 'villager' and 'villain'. Never made it to the U.S. or Canada(I think) as we have no concept of Aristocracy or inferiority; only in the abstract. :)

to note to Uncle Denis the various advantages of the perhaps 'began to list to...'

In autumn you can sweep paths in the garden with the help of the Tsar Beard,cleaning them from leaves, better than every broom; - In the Autumn*, with the help of the Tsar Beard, you can clean the paths in the garden, sweeping better than any broom; Autumn; in this case a proper noun, 'the...'


Birds can nest in the Tsar Beard, and Uncle Denis can watch them closely. - Perhaps 'may'. Question: will they nest there, or might they? If it's might then you would use may in the first and can in the second.

share with them a tiny bit of the Tsar Beard - tiny clipping (great image, by the way)

...so the birds can warm up their nest in a birds\' house with a tsar beard - may build a warmer nest using a tiny bit Tsar Beard

throw it in a tin barrel, wet well and when the tsar beard absorbs enough water, take it from the barrel and carry to water garden crops-very useful- another outstanding image. I've heard of creating soup, rehydrating the dried remnants of meals left in the folds, but never active hauling. Excellent... Now, I might say it like: placing it in a tin barrel, wetting it well, and...water, removing it from the barrel, carrying it to water the garden as necessary

has grown had

over there. there

Brain decided had decided

gluing it by gluing it

later be later become

met a lorry came across (as meeting might imply an appointment, or, a person)

...lorry with the words "Bread, be full and healthy". painted on it: "Bread..."

and forced so he forced

Cause it will be useful in household, the Brain assured Quotes?

On the way back, coming closer to the lorry, saying "Bread, be full and healthy", the one with "Brea..." painted on it,

Uncle Denis\'s Brain noticed that the lorry has started and is about to go. had started and was ready to/about to (either/or) leave...

Then Uncle Denis\'s Brain was cunning and made Uncle Denis Then, Uncle Denis' Brain, being very cunning, made Uncle Denis...

to come really close to the lorry to read a sign on it, because otherwise it is difficult to see. get much closer to the lorry, so he could read it, because otherwise it would be too difficult to see...

pottered tottered?

to pour a half of tube of glue "Kolenkor" to the foresty beard and touch a lorry wall with it to apply half the tube on "Kolenkor" glue to the foresty beard, and touch it to the side of the lorry.

More than that, Uncle Denis\'s Brain made Uncle Denis to wind a foresty beard to the van with a tape, to tear off the foresty beard for sure. ...made Uncle Denis wind the foresty beard with tape, and attach it to the van as well, which would make double-sure* the tearing off of the foresty beard. *a bit of license here; pardon...


lorry "Bread, be full and healthy" The lorry, emblazoned with "Bread..." began driving with Uncle Denis...

and Uncle Denis run after it ...with Uncle Denis running along side it. (poor guy...)

Uncle Denis was so tired to run that he was very sweaty, and decided to rest, stopped and hung on the lorry\'s wall. Uncle Denis became very tired and sweaty from running. So much so that he stopped running and hung by his beard from the...

This very moment At that very moment

the glue became weak because of the sweat, along with the glue which had become softened by the sweat. Uncle Denis'...

Uncle Denis\'s Brain flew straight to the roadside ditch into the ditch alongside the road where they lay, faced with a hollow cranium.

Geese were grazing in the ditch that time. Uncle Denis and Uncle Denis\'s Brain suddenly landed had been grazing in the ditch, when suddenly...

stroll away. 'wander away' or just 'go away'...

From those times From then on; From that day forward...

kept has kept...

Thoroughly entertaining...





Olly Buckle
January 4th, 2014, 11:50 PM
beard to stroke it during gardening thoughts'Beard is sufficient, do not use the 'it', that makes it as though the beard is going to stroke something, winter?


When Uncle Denis\'sForget the forward slash "Uncle Denis's". In some cases the second 's' is omitted, as in "St Thomas' Hospital", this is optional, but having both is usually considered clearer.


Has learned the past form you want is 'learned', no 'has'.




Firstly, Uncle Denis\'s Brain decided to persuade Uncle Denis\'s Brain to grow a Tsar Beard.Who is persuading who? "Uncle Denis's Brain decided to persuade Uncle Denis" surely?


Brain started to note to Uncle I see where 'note' is coming from, but it simply sounds wrong in English, I would suggest something like 'to drop hints to', 'to point out to', your present meaning probably goes with the latter, but the former goes with 'rustling slyly'.


cleaning them from leaves, better than every broom Clean the path of the leaves, from is the other way around, clean the leaves from the path. 'every' is all of them at once, yo want 'any' , which is any one of them all.


a birds\' houseNo need for the possessive, 'a birdhouse', a bit like a farmhouse, or a windmill.


with a tsar beard That is a whole one, 'with tsar beard', they only get a bit.

I shall stop now, it is quite late here and this takes almost as long as the writing, but I hope it has helped as this is a fun story, and although I'm pointing out all the negatives there are some good turns of phrase as well as imagination here.