View Full Version : The City - (Semi Sci-Fi)

December 31st, 2013, 02:29 PM

Maggie had finally received the present of her dreams: a city. After much hinting, asking, and eventually begging, her parents had her city all wrapped up for her on her fourteenth birthday. Despite how immensely exhilarated she was, she was still rational enough to unwrap it carefully and not damage her new present. She didn’t want to startle her new tenants.

Her present surpassed her wildest dreams, a dome shaped wonder. The city was complete with tall skyscrapers, streets bustling with traffic, men and women going about their occupations, and so much more. There was even a dam and a reservoir at the edge of the city; Maggie’s father explained that he and her mother had paid a little extra to have the dam added. The city felt so surreal and too perfect in her eyes. Yet here it was, right in front of her.

“Dad? When do I get mine?”

David. Maggie’s eight year old brother, who always wanted whatever his sister had, had found a new object of interest.

“Oh. Well Davy,” his mother started, “your father and I thought that you were a little too young for you own city. After all, a city can be a lot of responsibility. But don’t worry Davy. We promise that on your fourteenth birthday, you’ll have a city of your own, just like Maggie’s. Until then, why don’t you help your sister take care of her ci-“

“NO!” screamed David. “I want my city! I want my city NOW!”

Maggie, already very familiar with her brother’s behavior, let out a long sigh of exasperation and carefully placed her city in her room to observe it in peace. She set down her city atop her desk. She marveled at how amazing and detailed her city was. Maggie started to hear wailing all the way from the living room. She saw that her city’s residents carried on with their lives as much as she did hers: they ate at restaurants, had conversations, had parties, and went to school. The screaming intensified outside. The city even had fully-functioning train stations. David’s screaming turned into an awful fit of sobbing. Maggie’s eyes were enveloped by the various sights and, despite its size, the city overwhelmed her. At last, the sobbing had subsided.

Ultimately, David got what he wanted, which came as no surprise to Maggie. Their parents agreed to get him a city next month, on his eleventh birthday. Till then, David could only watch Maggie’s and wait.

Maggie, feeling that she was responsible for the welfare of the city, gave it her absolute attention and utmost best care she could provide. Every day, she would feed her city, filter its water, change its batteries, supply necessary raw materials, and made sure not to make too much noise around it. Everyday, she would toil for her city. And everyday, she had a blast. And every day, David would be there, prattling on about how his city would be so much better than hers in every single way possible. Maggie didn’t mind his babbling. For all she cared, David could have an entire set of cities; all of her attention was paid to her city. Eventually, the city grew by itself: more buildings were being built, the population steadily grew, and the residents even started to upgrade the dam into a hydro-electric dam to harness the energy from the flowing water.

On the day of David’s long awaited eleventh birthday, he received four presents from his family: a small porcelain swan sculpture Maggie made, which she found broken in a trash bin a few days later, a sweater from his mother, which he refused to wear, an expensive fountain pen from his father, sold to a friend the next day for five dollars, and, of course, a city.

With a squeal of delight, he proceeded to rip open and manhandle the conspicuous dome-shaped present. He treated the city so roughly that Maggie could almost hear screaming from David’s new possession. David started giggling when he beheld his city. Predictably, David commenced to say how his city was better than hers in various trivial ways.

“Look Maggie, my city has more cars than yours. My city has cooler buildings than yours. Mine has one more movie theatre than yours.” None of these were actually true, but Maggie, using her better judgement, decided to humor her little brother.

Then, his gloating stopped abruptly.

“Something wrong, junior?” his father asked wearily.

“Where’s my dam?” David asked feebly.

“What’s that junior?”

“I don’t see a dam in my city, dad. Why don’t I have a dam? Maggie has one. I should have one too!” He began to tremble.

“Oh.” His father should have known better; David never settles for anything less than what Maggie gets.

“I want my dam! Mom! Dad! Get me a dam! I deserve a dam. She got one, so I deserve one too!” he screamed.

“I’m sorry Davy,” his mother replied, “but we thought you wouldn’t mind even if you didn’t have one, it’s only an accessory after all.”

“David,” Maggie began, “these city inhabitants are pretty resourceful. I’m sure that if you take good care of them and provide them with the right supplies, they’ll make a dam themselves. I’ve seen them construct entire buildings.”

“I don’t care! I’m not going to wait that long! I want that dam now!” From there, David entered a tantrum, protracted longer than what Maggie cared to listen to.

And of course, he would not listen. And of course, the manufacturers said it was impossible to add a dam after purchase. And of course, David started resenting Maggie and her little city with the dainty little dam.

From then on, whenever Maggie was tending to her city, David was always near, making furtive glances at her flourishing city. His eyes would especially hover over her dam. On the other hand, his own city was deteriorating from neglect. In his city, crime rose, buildings were left abandoned, and people were starving. Maggie, feeling sympathy towards the victimized residents, secretly fed them often.

As if things weren’t bad enough, the problems only escalated when Maggie’s city residents finally completed construction for the hydro-electric dam. At this point, David was glowering at both Maggie and her city. It didn’t help that the residents were celebrating by putting up a fireworks show.

One night, Maggie woke up when she heard a gut-wrenching sound from inside her room, next to her. She turned on the light to find David standing next to her city. Still a bit drowsy, Maggie could only see that David was holding something in his hand. She rose, and as her eyes readjusted and focused, she could see that there was a hole at the edge her city, right where her dam should’ve been.

Realization dawned upon her, but not quickly enough; David had already ran out the door.

Maggie, frantic and furious, chased David up and down the house. David leapt outside to lose her out in the dark.

Maggie, being taller and faster than David, was able to tackle David. They were on the ground, wrestling each other.

“How dare you David! That’s mine!”

“I don’t care! I want what’s mine!”

However, amidst the scuffle under the tranquil dark sky, the night disappeared and the shining, searing sun sprung into the sky and the night became day.

Maggie was blinded by the sudden light. During her confusion, she heard an awfully loud noise that pounded into her ears.



A moment later, Maggie heard David scream. Maggie started to readjust to the brightness.

Tightly clutching David was an enormous hand, attached to an equally large arm that seemed to come from the sky.


Still screaming, David was pulled up by the hand into the sky. They ascended until they were no longer visible.

As if a blanket had covered the sky, the sun was gone, the hand and David gone with it.

All Maggie found left was a broken dam inside a large and deep imprint on the grass.

April 28th, 2015, 10:00 PM
Hi TheGreedyimp.

This was a fun read.
Maybe it's the StarTrek/Twilight Zone/Night Gallery diet I had as a child.
I may use it as an easy reference for dialogue punctuation/appropriate narrative.

All Maggie found left was a broken dam inside a large and deep imprint on the grass.

What caused the deep imprint?
Just wondering.

*looks for more*

May 13th, 2015, 05:08 PM
Like the idea of the story. David was eight at the beginning of the story but in a month he was eleven. I'm wondering if they age at a different rate in the story compare to the real world. And if they do age at a different rate won't they experience time at a different rate?

Harper J. Cole
May 13th, 2015, 07:35 PM
Nice premise and clever twist at the end, I didn't see it coming! Perhaps Marty and April are also someone else's toy, it could go on ...

If I'm being picky, maybe David should be a bit younger (11 is quite old to be having tantrums)?