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Dyadyushka Denis
December 29th, 2013, 09:26 AM
Uncle Dennis has the Uncle Dennis’s Brain. The Uncle Dennis’s Brain is inside the vacuum brainpan. Also, it has an extraordinary ability to generate various ideas in a random way. Uncle Dennis might be just sitting, being busy with something – and look! Here is an unexpected idea. Moreover, even Uncle Dennis was surprised at its appearance. He was doing nothing except his own business – and here appeared the signal of a new idea's arrival. And here it is. It has already been written down with the Uncle Dennis' hand to keep it from oblivion. For the Uncle Dennis’s Brain completely erases every idea from its brain cells just in the next moment after generating it). Its operating principle is much like that of printer. It is commonly known that the information about a page being printed is first written to the device's RAM, then, after printer produces output on paper by means of using ink, this information is erased from the RAM. The Uncle Dennis’s Brain is much the same. First, the information comes to brain cells; next, it is put on paper by means of pen and erased from the cells.

The Uncle Dennis’s Brain often prowls the Internet for information on various subjects. There are times when the Uncle Dennis’s Brain's computer lags and cannot be started on first attempt. In such a case, the Uncle Dennis’s Brain starts rustling at him threateningly. In case the computer is not scared, the Uncle Dennis’s Brain starts threatening it: it promises to boil the computer in a saucepan in case it refuses to start. Sometimes, this kind of menace doesn't work. Then, the Uncle Dennis’s Brain's menaces to the computer become even worse. It promises to put it to a fridge freezer and to deep-freeze it unmercifully. Normally, this kind of menace works very well and the computer starts.

The Uncle Dennis’s Brain operates a wonder machine that originally hails from the shiny town of St. Petersburg. The Uncle Dennis’s Brain makes Uncle Dennis click the wonder machine’s buttons. Meanwhile, the wonder machine dispatches workpieces of different machines produced by the factory. At times, Uncle Dennis clicks the wrong button and the Uncle Dennis’s Brain is hard up because the workpiece is zapped as a result, and the shop foreman is rife and rampant, and deprives the Uncle Dennis’s Brain of salary for three months. The Uncle Dennis’s Brain is very happy to know how to operate the wonder machine, and it rustles haughtily for no one at the factory can operate it – except the Uncle Dennis’s Brain alone.

Oftentimes, the Uncle Dennis’s Brain and Uncle Dennis stroll around the town together. Once, the Uncle Dennis’s Brain and Uncle Dennis were walking in the vicinity of city's central square. There was also a black dotted white she-goat strolling around the square. Uncle Dennis was minded to touch base with it, so he slopped towards the she-goat. Meanwhile, the Uncle Dennis’s Brain decided to rustle haughtily at the she-goat and actually proceeded to rustle. As soon as the she-goat heard the Uncle Dennis’s Brain rustling, it got into a wax and chased after it. The Uncle Dennis’s Brain together with Uncle Dennis was running away from the she-goat showing a clean pair of heels. While trying to escape, they climbed a pine tree in the city park. The she-goat had been guarding the Uncle Dennis’s Brain for quite a long time, meanwhile picking the grass, and later it left. Ever since, the Uncle Dennis’s Brain keeps its eyes open to make sure there is no she-goat nearby, before daring to rustle at the city's central square. In case there is no she-goat around, the Uncle Dennis’s Brain asks passersby about the presence of a she-goat nearby, just to be on the safe side. Only in case the passersby confirm that there is no she-goat around, the Uncle Dennis’s Brain starts rustling.

Every so often, the Uncle Dennis’s Brain generates advanced and progressive ideas. One day, the Uncle Dennis’s Brain conceived a plan to implement to the factory's product quality policy an obligation for every employee to be skilled in the C plus plus programming language. On generating this project, the Uncle Dennis’s Brain decided to submit it to the factory's CEO. However, on approaching the office of the factory's CEO, the Uncle Dennis’s Brain extremely quailed and turned his tail to the shop (along with Uncle Dennis himself). Ever since, the Uncle Dennis’s Brain stores the project of this advanced and progressive idea inside the wonder machine to prevent it from being found by the factory's CEO.

The Uncle Dennis’s Brain likes Tula honey-cakes, goat milk and "Chappy" dog food. The Uncle Dennis’s Brain cadges these foodstuffs from Uncle Dennis passionately. Uncle Dennis buys all this stuff every day, nevertheless, the Uncle Dennis’s Brain starts cadging it again immediately after taking a meal. In case Uncle Dennis is already out of money and he cannot afford to buy these foodstuffs, the Uncle Dennis’s Brain gets nasty and makes Uncle Dennis throw onion skins to a sack of potatoes as well as muddle together Uncle's garden seeds (pours out watermelon seeds to flower seeds). On one occasion, the Uncle Dennis’s Brain got extraordinarily nasty. The Uncle Dennis’s Brain instigated Uncle Dennis to sneak into another person's henhouse as if to revise the hens color. Uncle Dennis proceeded to get there. A foreign brown-red hen with a combative glare in its eyes and passionless calmness dealt the Uncle Dennis’s Brain a peck from the height of a henroost right into a pate on its vacuum brainpan. Since that time, the Uncle Dennis’s Brain was afraid of getting nasty for the whole week.

Sometimes, the Uncle Dennis’s Brain does not allow Uncle Dennis to go to the garden. At first, Uncle Dennis was getting very upset about it. But later, he found a way to cancel out the Uncle Dennis’s Brain. Uncle Dennis took a pumpkin and ate out its insides. Eventually, there came out a round pumpkin box. And now, in case the Uncle Dennis’s Brain starts disturbing Uncle Dennis from going to the garden, Uncle Dennis stretches the pumpkin box on the vacuum brainpan in order that the Uncle Dennis’s Brain be wrapped in darkness. Then, the Uncle Dennis’s Brain keeps a low profile. Later, after a while, Uncle Dennis puts the pumpkin box off and enjoys gardening in a calm atmosphere.

From time to time, the Uncle Dennis’s Brain makes Uncle Dennis to immerse the vacuum brainpan into a toilet tank in order to develop better underwater vision in order that when the Uncle Dennis’s Brain becomes famous and popular it will be able to dive in the sea and to enjoy wonderful vistas of the undersea world. Sometimes, the Uncle Dennis’s Brain does not believe that it will become famous and popular. In such a case, the Uncle Dennis’s Brain slips into a depression. Any Uncle Dennis' attempt to touch base meets the Uncle Dennis’s Brain's angry reply: "There is no Brain!" In such a case, Uncle Dennis appeases the Uncle Dennis’s Brain by means of cabbage, carrot or even pumpkin – in some of the most complicated cases (when the Uncle Dennis’s Brain slips into the deepest depression) – in order that the Uncle Dennis’s Brain declare itself and start communicating. Sometimes, Uncle Dennis scratches the vacuum brainpan with a garden hook. The Uncle Dennis’s Brain loves it and declares itself as well.

And what's more, the Uncle Dennis’s Brain is the Great and Mighty Tsar (Immortal Father the Tsar).

The given Great and Notable Regal Article was generated by The Uncle Dennis’s Brain, the Great and Mighty Tsar (Immortal Father the Tsar).

Pluralized
January 2nd, 2014, 02:19 AM
Wow, I have to hand it to you, DD. This is absolutely unique and bizarre, but some really pleasant and humorous tones percolating throughout. It's primarily full of non sequitur, at times incomprehensible. I don't know for sure, but I'd guess this was translated from another language?

Either way, I enjoyed reading it. Can't say much about the content, as you've more or less just peppered me with "Uncle Dennis's Brain" over and over with the different things it can do and odd quirks of the Brain... Really far-out stuff. Don't change a thing.

Dyadyushka Denis
January 2nd, 2014, 07:17 PM
Thanks. This Great and Notable Regal Article of the Uncle Dennis’s Brain was translated from russian language. The Uncle Dennis’s Brain, the Great and Mighty Tsar (Immortal Father the Tsar), lives in Russia in the Urals (Karpinsk city).