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View Full Version : Quantum Leap of Faith (Critiques please!)



Child_Alchemist
December 29th, 2013, 08:08 AM
Quantum Leap of Faith


After 7pm the Miami Dade Metro Rail begins to run every hour. I suppose it was luck that had me arrive right after the departure of the south bound train at 7:05. At the entrance stood a young, Haitian security guard. My step-brother recently got a job and a friend of mine, Kris, who was also a security guard jokingly stated that it was in his blood, that about 70% of the security guards he had met through his career were Haitian. I wonder how Rob would've responded, had the two of them not been through a recent disagreement.


'Cat got your tongue?'


I could hear my friend Cyclops say. It's funny when I think about it, how eating a cat could be taken offensively or perversely, all at once. People might not consider it, but words are a bridge that connect various minds together. It was interesting, the sensation, that if words were bridges, then in the previous statement, there was a single bridge that connected two minds but also led a third mind to a different connecting meaning.


Like a single hallway that led to three exits. Multiple dimensions.


Recently I had been dwelling into the depths of my mind through meditation. I think now a days people do see meditation as a true method self fulfilling therapy, when before it was purely for spiritual or religious growth. Something you don't find very often stated is that meditation is not the only mind altering method. There are different forms of it, just as there is different forms of combat, each with its purpose and technique, or different kinds of cannabis that give you various highs. In fact, you can almost say that hypnosis is a meditative technique induced by one person to another person or persons. It's like coaching them into a meditative state.


Riding up the escalators, I could hear overhead a train coming to a halt. The question perks up as to whether it was another south bound train but truly my subconscious already knew. I can feel the results of my daily meditations through small inquiries such as this. Whether the question was asked or not, the answer had been already queued. My nervous system would have already stimulated a response from my legs and intention to hurry my pace. But it did not.


However, something did tell me to reach into my pocket and grab my phone. The screen was black and upon clicking the home button, the time read:


7:15pm, 4 msg, 7 miss; I guess I have plenty of time to sit and ponder once I get up there.


When I got to the 2nd floor I was met by people watching, anticipating who the next traveler would be as though they had been waiting for someone. Some days when I fall into this scenario, I like to stare back and play the dominance game. It was never truly for feeling dominant, at least it never felt that way. But I suppose it did feel good knowing I could out stare someone, to go against an instinct and be stronger than your set program. Today, however, I stared at either the phone or floor.


7:16pm


I'm wondering why this phone is still in my hand and not my pocket. I suppose the priority of finding a temporary niche deflected any other actions at the moment. Looking around, I slid my eyes amongst the other travelers. Whether it was a hormonal or psychological thing, I wasn’t sure, but there was never a doubt that I would lock eyes with a pretty looking girl. It always happened and it was never that I looked away because I was being shy. I was proud of myself and typically confident. But if I made contact with a female, and the assumptions of her display of clothes, makeup, and hairstyle stated that it was possible for us to get along, then I'd have kept that contact short. Maybe in an alternate universe we’d have talked and probably gotten along well; or not. Maybe even fallen for one another, or some bullshit. But this was not that universe.


Sitting on the bench provided at the extreme South end of the station, I took note of the scheduled south bound runs. I had no job to go to, nor no friends to visit. I wasn't particularly in a rush today, but it was rather important that I stuck to my schedule.


Time is an illusion, really. Neuroscience states that time is felt by how much we are experiencing in a single moment. Sort of like our peripheral vision during moments of concentration. Our brains are like satellites relaying information of the world in real time. Its always easy for me to imagine time more like space. Looking at a picture of Earth, you can see that it is this whole, circle shaped thing, existing in a shroud of darkness and then accompanied by moons, planets, and stars. If you could zoom out of time, you would see that an entire human life span really fits into a single second. The more we zoom out, the less time eons and millenniums seem to take up.


It's interesting to consider that life is just as real as it is not. We are creatures that simply perceive this bit of information of an entire infinite universe.


For example a friend of mine was explaining to me that there was an animal with a four conned vision, or something of such. Humans only have a three conned vision. That means that these creatures could see more colors in existence than humans. This is also a reason why I have trouble understanding color orientation in energy work. There are far more colors than we know about, but its still passionately stated that certain colors have strong representations or that we resonate colors. I suppose its possible our brain functions leave an aura of certain colors but I have yet to really see colors for myself.


At 7:20 I realized that the phone was still in my hand. I had been thinking this whole time and I'd assumed that much time had passed. Only a few minutes. At that moment I decided to put my phone away, and right as I began to slip it into my pocket it began to vibrate.


After five text messages and seven missed calls it felt a little silly to still be carrying around my phone. I wasn't going to respond at all anyway. Recently I maxed out my final credit card and was in debt in multiple accounts. This led me to feel slightly shameful. I didn't strive hard for a job as I felt that it wasn't necessary. But it didn't feel right to still associate myself with friends if I wasn't willing to live to the standard that they had. What really hurt was knowing that my dad would never understand. He lived his life very conveniently. He had been retired from the city but works to provide more income doing private transportation for children. A family business established around the 60's by my grandfather who came from Cuba. With my nephew and I living under him, he's simply doing what he thinks is right, although I truly feel its more apathetic than that. Like that was the program that ran him, there was no question about it. Had he not been working he'd probably never leave the couch. He never questioned how I'd been out of a job for so long and was still able to pay for my bills, gas, food, or whatever. He would only find out afterward that I had elongated my fate as much as chance had allowed.


Checking my phone again there was a small glimpse of the most recent text message.
'...but it would be nice if you just showed up...'


My thumb slid across the bottom to unlock the screen but then I heard another train at a distance. I couldn't see it because of the bend but I knew it was southbound. I wasn’t sure exactly where I was headed but I stood up as though I already had my destination waiting. Others around me wondered if they should stand up too. There was always this thing about choices based on someone else's intuition. Like they couldn’t make a decision by their own merits so they had to either to go with someone else's decision or against it.


For me, it felt like I had no choice. To get on the train would be fruitless anyways. There was no where I wanted to go. But the thing was every day for the past couple of months lying in my bed, disappointed that I was still breathing, I would hear that damn train pass by.


No.


For me the choice was left to the universe.


Recently death had been much more than an escape from this subjectively depressing life. It became a calling. There was a voice in my head speaking to me as though it was commercializing the trip. Exploring the unknown had always been something that I was interested in and the more I meditated and read up on quantum physics and spoke to God, the more I wanted to test death.


The truth is that there was nothing that felt more fulfilling that the thought of it.


Ever since 9th grade I'd fantasize about my death. I would imagine being at my funeral, spiritually perceiving the lot that gathered. Friends, family; Sometimes there were many people. Sometimes there were only a few.


After a bit the train had hit the corner. I stood up to yellow braille part that cautioned passengers. Looking past the edge I remember seeing pigeons playing along the track and wondering how they were so brave. I think I understood at that moment that fear was left to those who felt incapable of surviving.


I jumped down to the tracks. Ironically enough, I felt free as a bird. No one said anything at first, not from what I could hear. Not that I cared. From a good distance I could see the head lights from the train. I could feel my heart saddening but I had faith in the intentions that brought me here. I would either escape death, or become a part of it.


I closed my eyes and began to meditate.


Imagine the number three, three times. Sometimes I had to create the shape with eye movement to really get to see it.


Imagine the number two, three times. The darkness spiraled under my eyelids. The noise of people worrying rose and left all at once.


Imagine the number one, three times. This was a method I learned from quantum jumping. It wasn’t the first time I've tried inter dimensional meditation, but this technique was much more powerful than what I had been used to.


At this moment, I took in a deep breath in and let out a full exhale. My chakras opened up. I know this because I could feel a warmth and convulsion in my groin area move up to the top of my head. The most significant feeling was always the Third Eye. The blood moving under the center of your brows, the sound of an exaggerated thunder clap. This was the first chakra I had ever truly felt. All that was left was to sequence myself into an Alpha state. This was the countdown that led me to travel down the single hall way with three exits.


Ten;


You are a spirit traveling the infinite universe.


Nine;


See the hallway filled with doors, each door representing a different universe with a different you.


Eight;


You will find another you who is similar to this universe, but has succeeded where you have not.


Seven;


You will ask this other you for the knowledge that you require in order for you to fulfill your goals in this reality.


Six;


And when you ask, you will listen. And your other self will reply.


Five;


Jump.


Four;


And it will only make sense later.


Three;


Jump.


Two;


And when it does, you will understand exactly what you must do.


One;


Jump.




[To Be Continued]

Badhorses Mare
January 3rd, 2014, 04:46 PM
I like the Sci-fi-ish feel to it. It's a little morose for my cup of tea but the concept of death being simply a change in dimensions if very intriguing.
I could hear overhead a train coming to a halt. Perhaps saying "I could hear a train coming to a halt overhead." For some reason the original wording seems a little weird to me.

Child_Alchemist
January 3rd, 2014, 08:51 PM
reading that now i see its very strange! thank you!

thepancreas11
January 3rd, 2014, 08:56 PM
I wasn't sure where this was going until halfway through, and I think it's the ambiguous nature of some sentences that does me in. What does the Haitian thing have to do with anything? Who are these other characters that you never revisit? You introduce things at the beginning that have very little bearing on the story, and they only serve to muddle your plot. Remove anything you are unwilling to explain or unwilling to link to your plot. You've got a great concept here, and the makings of a fine story. It could even stand alone as a short story because it has a decent, open-ended resolution with an underlying message, all of which are musts. What you could do better is hook me from the beginning. It's as simple as dropping a line about your dimension theory right out of the gate.

Be more specific, be a bit more narrow-minded, and you've got it. I'd love to read more of this.