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Theglasshouse
December 6th, 2013, 02:11 AM
Taken down since because of reasons of my own.

Rick Archer
December 6th, 2013, 05:41 PM
TGH, you lost me early on with this. I think you need to restructure the essay as it seems to jump from place to place without idea/topic linkage. I understand you have problems with English fluency. You might want to have someone who speaks your native tongue, but is fluent in English as well, help you so your thoughts are more clear on paper. This is my first critique. I'm not trying to be difficult, just giving you my honest opinion. Rick

Theglasshouse
December 6th, 2013, 07:38 PM
Rick:Thanks for telling me what you think. Unfortunately I must rely on books for disabilities (that is supposedly written for people like me), and learning how to write better as I can't go to a therapist yet. I depend on my family. I do struggle with english. I will just have to post-pone my writing for the moment and I deeply respect what you posted.

My eldest brother could probably look it over.

Rick Archer
December 6th, 2013, 07:51 PM
TGH,
I wish you would have left it up so those who are much better than this could give you advice. I'm a novice. I just gave you a reader's perspective. Please don't give up. Please put it back up and allow others to help. Struggling with English can be overcome by relaying your thoughts to others where they can put them in written form. Rick