Monster
June 21st, 2013, 01:16 AM
I chose to share a piece of my story. To give a summary, Zack (26) is a cop and he meets a veterinary tech named Manny (21). Zack is surprised to find that Manny is gay and in an abusive relationship of four years with another man. Zack is straight, or so he thought. He's become good friends with Manny and finds himself thinking about his friend all the time. I apologize for the section not being more towards the beginning of the story, but this part was less boring than the beginning. This is a piece of Zack and Manny's first real conversation. They'd met before and Zack noticed his bruises, but now is when he confronts the younger man about them. Pardon the poor grammar if it's there. This is still the first draft. But I would like to know what you guys think of it, or if you can throw any advice my way. Criticism is accepted but please do it gently so as not to burst my bubble too badly.
Warning: For language possibly (I don't recall if this chapter has a load of swearing in it), and mentions of abuse.
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What the Hell is going on? Zack almost felt like some sort of creepy mojo was at work as of late, because even though he hadn’t been to the veterinarian’s office in nearly two weeks, he started seeing that same male technician, the one with the Russian accent, almost everywhere he went. He’d see the guy heading down the sidewalk on his way home from work. They passed by one another in public, heading into or out of the same stores. Has he always been coming here? Did I just never notice him before? Is he stalking me? No, that’s ridiculous. He doesn’t seem like the stalker type at all.
This particular day was no different. As a matter of fact, he’d almost bumped into the smaller man in line at the coffee shop during his lunch break. The man was turning around to head out the door, having just paid for some gigantic blended coffee drink, and Zack was moving ahead a step, not paying attention to what was going on in front of him.
“Whoa there.” Zack said, side-stepping to keep from bumping into the guy in the blue scrubs.
“Sorry.” Came his reply, with a slight roll of the tongue.
“Hey, I know you.” Zack confirmed as the realization of coming across the technician again sank into his mind.
“You’re the guy with the dog. Paige?” He asked, pausing while Zack asked for his ‘usual’. There was something pleasing about seeing somebody ask for a ‘usual’ in real life. The technician’s eyes flickered in a hidden excitement at this.
“Yeah, she’s my mom’s.” Zack stated, noticing that yes, yet again this man was bruised. This time another faded bruise showed near his eye, and bruises were intermittently spaced over the backs of his forearms. His lip wasn’t exactly split again, but a fresh cut ran from the upper right side of his mouth up to the underside of his nose in the shape of a crescent. He got himself into trouble again. Do the muggers follow him around or is this guy just so dumb that he takes the same route right to them everyday?
“How is she?” The technician inquired, breaking Zack’s concentration.
“Her stitches are all melted out now. She’s fine. Pretty drugged up and tired the first two days, but after that, she didn’t even notice anything was different with her. Same pain in the ass dog she’s always been.” Zack answered, trying to be friendly.
The man turned his head down and looked at the floor when he noticed Zack observing his bruises. Okay, the signs are all there. I need to do something. I don’t want to watch this happen to another person. Zack ignored the obvious injuries and humiliation the first two times meeting this man, and now he needed to offer some form of help. Victims didn’t always accept help, but he would have felt like a jerk had he said nothing at all. After all, the tech wasn’t a big guy. He couldn’t have been more than 5’8” and 150 pounds soaking wet. He wouldn’t have been much of a match for one good sized man, and had there been more than one against him, he’d be too easy to overcome.
“Do you have a minute?” Zack asked the man, motioning to go over and sit at one of the shop’s tables in the corner of the room.
The man sighed, as if knowing all too well what was going to be asked of him, but he nodded. Following Zack, who just paid for his ‘usual’ cup of black coffee and cream cheese bagel, the two sat across from one another.
“Let me start. I’m Zack.” He didn’t mention his occupation like he usually did when trying to comfort someone that needed help. He was in uniform so it was obvious. He also caught himself not using his officer name, going with a casual ‘Zack’ instead of ‘Officer Lavelle’ and he wasn’t sure why.
“I’m Manny.” The technician nodded in greeting. I guess he isn’t really the hand-shake type of guy.
“I wanted to ask you something, because every time I see you, you’re hurt in some way.” The officer started, drawing an embarrassed flush to form over the younger man’s face. “Look, if somebody’s doing that to you, you should tell. Get some help or it isn’t going to stop.”
“I’m okay. I don’t need help. Really.” Manny replied softly.
“You obviously do, man. It’s not normal to walk around scared and beat up all the time. Is it a money thing?” Zack prodded, trying to get even a bit of information without upsetting the man in front of him.
“Is what a money thing?” Manny asked, raising an eyebrow in confusion.
“This whole thing.” Zack clarified, motioning to the bruises. “If their reason for doing this is robbing you, I can fix that. You don’t have to put up with it. Just give me a description and it will stop.”
“Oh, it’s not like that.” Manny confirmed, understanding now what Zack meant. Okay, Zack thought, it isn’t a mugging. They’re not taking money from him. Maybe it’s a bullying thing. Fuck, I hate when it’s a bullying thing. Zack tried desperately to stay on track and not let another bloody flashback blink into his thoughts.
“Do you know the person or persons doing this?” Zack pressed. When Manny didn’t answer, he continued. “Look, I know it must be embarrassing for you. But you’re not alone. I’ve seen it before, and I’m just trying to help. It’s my job to protect the people of this town, and if you let me, I can help you.”
“I… I can take care of myself. I don’t want to cause any trouble.” Manny declared, almost begging.
“You’re doing a pretty piss-poor job of taking care of yourself.” Zack retorted sarcastically.
“Thanks.” Manny said back, appearing a bit more saddened.
Don’t be an asshole, Zack.
“I’m sorry. If you tell me, that’s all it has to be. Just two people talking. I just want to know what happened. There’s nothing I can do about it if you don’t press charges. If you refuse, I’ll drop it. It’s confidential, what you’re telling me. There isn’t going to be any trouble. Okay?” He assured the other man.
“If I tell you, you’ll let it go and not mention it again?” Manny asked.
“Yes. I’ll let it go if you want me to. But if you choose, I can help you.”
“Okay. The person that does this to me is my…boyfriend.” Manny muttered quietly, so that the other customers and people behind the counter wouldn’t hear.
Zack’s eyes widened, not that he meant for them to. He always kept his cool, no matter what he heard on the job, but this time he actually was surprised. He didn’t know much about gay men, and he’d admit that to anybody that asked. He wasn’t homophobic by any means. Gay men just wasn’t something he came across in his everyday life, so his initial thoughts regarding gay people was unfortunately backed by the stereotype of a feminine, flamboyant man in feathers and pink. It was all he really knew, having seen this portrayal in movies and tv shows. He’d only ever actually met one gay man in his life, Joey’s cousin Randy. He lived up in Newport and came around to visit on occasion. He was a big, burly man that Joey referred to as a ‘bear’. Zack didn’t know what that meant, but even though Randy was a monster of a man, he still held a feminine air about him, making it very easy to believe when Joey said her cousin was gay.
He was almost floored when Manny said the word boyfriend. He didn’t look gay at all. Sure, he was skinny and his features were delicate, but he didn’t appear to be feminine really and his face wasn‘t girlish in the least. He sure as hell didn’t come off as flamboyant. His hair had a little more life in it than most men he‘d come across, reminding Zack of Adam Lambert’s hair, but other than that, Manny was plain and withdrawn. He was quiet and seemed to be a very gentle person, with a kind voice and nothing about him that stuck out in a crowd, aside from his deep brown eyes.
“Boyfriend?” Zack asked, blinking and trying to make himself look like less of a surprised fool.
“Boyfriend.” Manny repeated, nodding, but not making eye contact with Zack anymore. “His name is Andrew.”
“And is he…?” Zack started, brain all blown apart and not forming any of his thoughts into the proper words. His hands were moving about, as if to try drawing a picture of what he meant to say.
“As small as I am?” Manny finished for him. When Zack nodded in response, Manny continued. “No, he’s a little taller than you, almost the same size, but you’re probably in better shape.”
“And he hits you?” Zack reiterated again in disbelief. It always bothered him to hear of people being abused by their partners, but it was always girls being hit by guys before. Oddly enough, it didn’t matter right now the person being abused by a man was also a man. The defenselessness was still there and this was so familiar to Zack. It reminded him of his days back in high school. Zack knew that he could very easily take Manny down in a fight, even if the smaller man was in good shape. The size difference was on his side, and if Andrew was even bigger than Zack, Manny definitely wasn’t going to win if he tried.
“Sometimes.” Manny confessed, face still downcast in shame.
“And you don’t hit him back?” Zack asked, wanting to make sure that this was a domestic abuse situation and not just a fight between two men.
“No. I don’t like fighting. I would never hit Andrew. I love him.” Manny retorted.
“And he loves you? Even though he’s hurting you?” Zack was a little bewildered by this, not knowing what to think or how to take this information. Everything he knew about men fighting before had a set of rules. Two men could fight and it was okay if one man won, beating the other to a pulp. Then his mother’s voice was ringing in his memory, teaching him about what bullying was. This was almost a portrait of what she was saying, painted out before his very eyes. The look on Manny’s face was almost identical to the look on his younger brother’s face all those years ago, when he’d come home from school bloody and horrified.
“I did something bad.” Manny murmured.
“Dude, that’s not right. He shouldn’t be hitting you for any reason.” Zack assured, “There isn’t much you can tell me you did to make somebody beating you up justifiable. What do you think you did this time to set him off?”
“I forgot our anniversary.” Manny said sadly, obviously guilt was still built up in him. “I didn’t mean to.”
“Tell me what happened.” Zack coaxed, transfixed in this perplexing relationship.
“Our anniversary was three days ago. Andrew planned something nice for us to do together. I told him that I had to work late that night. I had a surgery scheduled and my boss needed me. He just got angry.”
“We all get angry, but I’ve never been mad enough to hit my girlfriend. Not that you’re a girl, but somebody that’s supposed to love you shouldn’t put their hands on you like he does. Straight up, people just shouldn‘t be thumping on each other.” Zack was trying to explain. He didn’t know how to make sense of this to someone already on the inside of the trap.
“Your girlfriend probably doesn’t mess everything up like I do.” Manny assured.
“She cheated on me. I caught her in my house with another guy and I still didn’t hit her. I just helped her pack up and get out of my life.” Zack countered. “How did he hurt you? That cut doesn‘t look like it came from a fist.”
“I…um, I was drinking my coffee in the kitchen, and we were both getting ready for work. I mentioned the late night I had ahead of me, and he… started yelling at me. I went to take a drink of my coffee, and he thought I wasn’t listening. He hit the bottom of my cup and it slammed into my face. My coffee spilled all over me and burned me. He started hitting me and then he drug me into the bathroom to go clean myself up, wipe the blood off of my face, and change my clothes.” His voice cracked and he sounded deeply upset by what he’d been making excuses for only a minute ago. He looked rather surprised by what just came out of his mouth, as if he’d never told anybody these things before and never planned on telling Zack.
“You think that’s okay? I mean, is that what you want to happen for the rest of your life?” Zack requested, waiting for some semblance of the typical answers he hears constantly.
“No, it’s not like that.” There it was. That’s what they all say…well most of them. These poor people always find some reason why what’s happening to them is somehow acceptable.
“Sounds like that’s exactly what it is, man. He’s going to hit you and you’re going to take it.” Zack contended.
“Zack, I have to go. I’m going to be late for work.” Manny stammered suddenly, standing up and taking his half-empty coffee with him.
“Okay, but wait, man. Here. This is my phone number. It’s my direct one. If you need any help, I want you to call me, okay?” Zack insisted, scribbling something down on the back of the coffee shop’s business card he had in his pocket from who knows how long ago. He handed it to the smaller man that took it gingerly, visibly avoiding physical contacting Zack’s skin with his own.
“Thank you.” Manny said quietly, before stuffing the card into his pocket and hurrying out the door.
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Warning: For language possibly (I don't recall if this chapter has a load of swearing in it), and mentions of abuse.
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What the Hell is going on? Zack almost felt like some sort of creepy mojo was at work as of late, because even though he hadn’t been to the veterinarian’s office in nearly two weeks, he started seeing that same male technician, the one with the Russian accent, almost everywhere he went. He’d see the guy heading down the sidewalk on his way home from work. They passed by one another in public, heading into or out of the same stores. Has he always been coming here? Did I just never notice him before? Is he stalking me? No, that’s ridiculous. He doesn’t seem like the stalker type at all.
This particular day was no different. As a matter of fact, he’d almost bumped into the smaller man in line at the coffee shop during his lunch break. The man was turning around to head out the door, having just paid for some gigantic blended coffee drink, and Zack was moving ahead a step, not paying attention to what was going on in front of him.
“Whoa there.” Zack said, side-stepping to keep from bumping into the guy in the blue scrubs.
“Sorry.” Came his reply, with a slight roll of the tongue.
“Hey, I know you.” Zack confirmed as the realization of coming across the technician again sank into his mind.
“You’re the guy with the dog. Paige?” He asked, pausing while Zack asked for his ‘usual’. There was something pleasing about seeing somebody ask for a ‘usual’ in real life. The technician’s eyes flickered in a hidden excitement at this.
“Yeah, she’s my mom’s.” Zack stated, noticing that yes, yet again this man was bruised. This time another faded bruise showed near his eye, and bruises were intermittently spaced over the backs of his forearms. His lip wasn’t exactly split again, but a fresh cut ran from the upper right side of his mouth up to the underside of his nose in the shape of a crescent. He got himself into trouble again. Do the muggers follow him around or is this guy just so dumb that he takes the same route right to them everyday?
“How is she?” The technician inquired, breaking Zack’s concentration.
“Her stitches are all melted out now. She’s fine. Pretty drugged up and tired the first two days, but after that, she didn’t even notice anything was different with her. Same pain in the ass dog she’s always been.” Zack answered, trying to be friendly.
The man turned his head down and looked at the floor when he noticed Zack observing his bruises. Okay, the signs are all there. I need to do something. I don’t want to watch this happen to another person. Zack ignored the obvious injuries and humiliation the first two times meeting this man, and now he needed to offer some form of help. Victims didn’t always accept help, but he would have felt like a jerk had he said nothing at all. After all, the tech wasn’t a big guy. He couldn’t have been more than 5’8” and 150 pounds soaking wet. He wouldn’t have been much of a match for one good sized man, and had there been more than one against him, he’d be too easy to overcome.
“Do you have a minute?” Zack asked the man, motioning to go over and sit at one of the shop’s tables in the corner of the room.
The man sighed, as if knowing all too well what was going to be asked of him, but he nodded. Following Zack, who just paid for his ‘usual’ cup of black coffee and cream cheese bagel, the two sat across from one another.
“Let me start. I’m Zack.” He didn’t mention his occupation like he usually did when trying to comfort someone that needed help. He was in uniform so it was obvious. He also caught himself not using his officer name, going with a casual ‘Zack’ instead of ‘Officer Lavelle’ and he wasn’t sure why.
“I’m Manny.” The technician nodded in greeting. I guess he isn’t really the hand-shake type of guy.
“I wanted to ask you something, because every time I see you, you’re hurt in some way.” The officer started, drawing an embarrassed flush to form over the younger man’s face. “Look, if somebody’s doing that to you, you should tell. Get some help or it isn’t going to stop.”
“I’m okay. I don’t need help. Really.” Manny replied softly.
“You obviously do, man. It’s not normal to walk around scared and beat up all the time. Is it a money thing?” Zack prodded, trying to get even a bit of information without upsetting the man in front of him.
“Is what a money thing?” Manny asked, raising an eyebrow in confusion.
“This whole thing.” Zack clarified, motioning to the bruises. “If their reason for doing this is robbing you, I can fix that. You don’t have to put up with it. Just give me a description and it will stop.”
“Oh, it’s not like that.” Manny confirmed, understanding now what Zack meant. Okay, Zack thought, it isn’t a mugging. They’re not taking money from him. Maybe it’s a bullying thing. Fuck, I hate when it’s a bullying thing. Zack tried desperately to stay on track and not let another bloody flashback blink into his thoughts.
“Do you know the person or persons doing this?” Zack pressed. When Manny didn’t answer, he continued. “Look, I know it must be embarrassing for you. But you’re not alone. I’ve seen it before, and I’m just trying to help. It’s my job to protect the people of this town, and if you let me, I can help you.”
“I… I can take care of myself. I don’t want to cause any trouble.” Manny declared, almost begging.
“You’re doing a pretty piss-poor job of taking care of yourself.” Zack retorted sarcastically.
“Thanks.” Manny said back, appearing a bit more saddened.
Don’t be an asshole, Zack.
“I’m sorry. If you tell me, that’s all it has to be. Just two people talking. I just want to know what happened. There’s nothing I can do about it if you don’t press charges. If you refuse, I’ll drop it. It’s confidential, what you’re telling me. There isn’t going to be any trouble. Okay?” He assured the other man.
“If I tell you, you’ll let it go and not mention it again?” Manny asked.
“Yes. I’ll let it go if you want me to. But if you choose, I can help you.”
“Okay. The person that does this to me is my…boyfriend.” Manny muttered quietly, so that the other customers and people behind the counter wouldn’t hear.
Zack’s eyes widened, not that he meant for them to. He always kept his cool, no matter what he heard on the job, but this time he actually was surprised. He didn’t know much about gay men, and he’d admit that to anybody that asked. He wasn’t homophobic by any means. Gay men just wasn’t something he came across in his everyday life, so his initial thoughts regarding gay people was unfortunately backed by the stereotype of a feminine, flamboyant man in feathers and pink. It was all he really knew, having seen this portrayal in movies and tv shows. He’d only ever actually met one gay man in his life, Joey’s cousin Randy. He lived up in Newport and came around to visit on occasion. He was a big, burly man that Joey referred to as a ‘bear’. Zack didn’t know what that meant, but even though Randy was a monster of a man, he still held a feminine air about him, making it very easy to believe when Joey said her cousin was gay.
He was almost floored when Manny said the word boyfriend. He didn’t look gay at all. Sure, he was skinny and his features were delicate, but he didn’t appear to be feminine really and his face wasn‘t girlish in the least. He sure as hell didn’t come off as flamboyant. His hair had a little more life in it than most men he‘d come across, reminding Zack of Adam Lambert’s hair, but other than that, Manny was plain and withdrawn. He was quiet and seemed to be a very gentle person, with a kind voice and nothing about him that stuck out in a crowd, aside from his deep brown eyes.
“Boyfriend?” Zack asked, blinking and trying to make himself look like less of a surprised fool.
“Boyfriend.” Manny repeated, nodding, but not making eye contact with Zack anymore. “His name is Andrew.”
“And is he…?” Zack started, brain all blown apart and not forming any of his thoughts into the proper words. His hands were moving about, as if to try drawing a picture of what he meant to say.
“As small as I am?” Manny finished for him. When Zack nodded in response, Manny continued. “No, he’s a little taller than you, almost the same size, but you’re probably in better shape.”
“And he hits you?” Zack reiterated again in disbelief. It always bothered him to hear of people being abused by their partners, but it was always girls being hit by guys before. Oddly enough, it didn’t matter right now the person being abused by a man was also a man. The defenselessness was still there and this was so familiar to Zack. It reminded him of his days back in high school. Zack knew that he could very easily take Manny down in a fight, even if the smaller man was in good shape. The size difference was on his side, and if Andrew was even bigger than Zack, Manny definitely wasn’t going to win if he tried.
“Sometimes.” Manny confessed, face still downcast in shame.
“And you don’t hit him back?” Zack asked, wanting to make sure that this was a domestic abuse situation and not just a fight between two men.
“No. I don’t like fighting. I would never hit Andrew. I love him.” Manny retorted.
“And he loves you? Even though he’s hurting you?” Zack was a little bewildered by this, not knowing what to think or how to take this information. Everything he knew about men fighting before had a set of rules. Two men could fight and it was okay if one man won, beating the other to a pulp. Then his mother’s voice was ringing in his memory, teaching him about what bullying was. This was almost a portrait of what she was saying, painted out before his very eyes. The look on Manny’s face was almost identical to the look on his younger brother’s face all those years ago, when he’d come home from school bloody and horrified.
“I did something bad.” Manny murmured.
“Dude, that’s not right. He shouldn’t be hitting you for any reason.” Zack assured, “There isn’t much you can tell me you did to make somebody beating you up justifiable. What do you think you did this time to set him off?”
“I forgot our anniversary.” Manny said sadly, obviously guilt was still built up in him. “I didn’t mean to.”
“Tell me what happened.” Zack coaxed, transfixed in this perplexing relationship.
“Our anniversary was three days ago. Andrew planned something nice for us to do together. I told him that I had to work late that night. I had a surgery scheduled and my boss needed me. He just got angry.”
“We all get angry, but I’ve never been mad enough to hit my girlfriend. Not that you’re a girl, but somebody that’s supposed to love you shouldn’t put their hands on you like he does. Straight up, people just shouldn‘t be thumping on each other.” Zack was trying to explain. He didn’t know how to make sense of this to someone already on the inside of the trap.
“Your girlfriend probably doesn’t mess everything up like I do.” Manny assured.
“She cheated on me. I caught her in my house with another guy and I still didn’t hit her. I just helped her pack up and get out of my life.” Zack countered. “How did he hurt you? That cut doesn‘t look like it came from a fist.”
“I…um, I was drinking my coffee in the kitchen, and we were both getting ready for work. I mentioned the late night I had ahead of me, and he… started yelling at me. I went to take a drink of my coffee, and he thought I wasn’t listening. He hit the bottom of my cup and it slammed into my face. My coffee spilled all over me and burned me. He started hitting me and then he drug me into the bathroom to go clean myself up, wipe the blood off of my face, and change my clothes.” His voice cracked and he sounded deeply upset by what he’d been making excuses for only a minute ago. He looked rather surprised by what just came out of his mouth, as if he’d never told anybody these things before and never planned on telling Zack.
“You think that’s okay? I mean, is that what you want to happen for the rest of your life?” Zack requested, waiting for some semblance of the typical answers he hears constantly.
“No, it’s not like that.” There it was. That’s what they all say…well most of them. These poor people always find some reason why what’s happening to them is somehow acceptable.
“Sounds like that’s exactly what it is, man. He’s going to hit you and you’re going to take it.” Zack contended.
“Zack, I have to go. I’m going to be late for work.” Manny stammered suddenly, standing up and taking his half-empty coffee with him.
“Okay, but wait, man. Here. This is my phone number. It’s my direct one. If you need any help, I want you to call me, okay?” Zack insisted, scribbling something down on the back of the coffee shop’s business card he had in his pocket from who knows how long ago. He handed it to the smaller man that took it gingerly, visibly avoiding physical contacting Zack’s skin with his own.
“Thank you.” Manny said quietly, before stuffing the card into his pocket and hurrying out the door.
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