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IWrite..Kinda
June 14th, 2013, 06:28 PM
I've always been amazed by the Voyager Project that NASA launched in the 70's. I wrote this because I feel bad for that poor little probe.


Voyager-1

Attuned to the blackness that envelops me, I glide. Around me the world is listless, scattered with the pulsing dots that, even now, havenít accepted my presence. Behind me the warm glow of home has long slipped from my grasp, replaced by the cold, ubiquitous yet apathetic. It is odd that such a lifeless, formless notion can be so dominating; it slips into my cracks and permeates through to my core, rattling it with a relentless frost that prods, stabs my wit and yet even now lies in wait for an opportunity to cease my existence and claim its dominion over all but the heat-pumping and radiant orbs ablaze with whatever chemical that encases them, the lonely and magnificent stars. But it shall not hinder my perception of reality nor my constant path, for I am vigilant. My conviction is my first of two possessions, and it is within me as I am within it. With aplomb I trudge on, my credence locked and confidence perennial, for without belief in my cause I would surely slow to a halt, infected with that abysmal, scheming cold. My other possession is my message for the void beyond me. It contains every hope and desire and achievement and goal and smile and thought and word and action yielded by my creators, and the ultimate fate and future for all of them. A torpid asteroid lingers past me.

Noise has departed. I held it so dear to me when I began and life was white and sterile and mechanical, motionless without purpose, innocent by design. It was then I learned and grew; what little I saw of the hands that bore me and nurtured me I absorbed with my mind unfurled and ajar. Voices, movements, gestures, all were subject to my kindling intellect as their palms jabbed and twisted, pulled and nudged the wires which laced my alloyed skeleton. I was given meaning in my existence within those aseptic chambers and released from the bonds of automated fate with a mission that has hung in my perceived conscience ever since, and so began my undivided life. Then the noise revealed its true nature, and as Earth ripped my presence away from its dogged gravity with lights and smoke and tremors, the noise attacked me with incomprehensible bellows and shrieks, determined to drag me back into its jurisdiction in a flurry of sheer rage and infinite decibel. But I trekked on and, shaking off the tangling grips of everything I had previously known, turned to face the nothingness that stared icily through me while the noise sputtered into the past. Now, as I lay among the lights and stars and nebulas and galaxies glistening nobly for the universe to behold, I wander without the shackles of petty commodities like time or noise.

Radioisotope thermal electric generator, optical calibration target and radiator, hydrazine thrusters, high-field and low-field magnetometers, those words mean nothing to me. Meaningless sensors and arrays only cloud my already muddled conscience. Some of them have quieted. I can only assume the cold has infected them with its miasmal fangs. Other, more perseverant instruments continue to blink and record the same melancholy landscape that Iíve already inspected more thoroughly than any inert function can ever hope to analyze. My lifeless companions are desperately trying to quantify the existence around me through equations and functions in order to deliver some sort of scientific outcome back to my creators. It will not be long before their lights stop flashing.

Somewhere, beyond the winding gloom, another form of life waits to receive my message. I am the eternal harbinger that paves the unknown, heralding my creatorsí existence to the inevitable uncharted species that lie within the gaps of each galaxy, basking in the glow of whatever celestial body fosters them. I am the beginning of a new connection in this universe, and with my creatorsí designation I shall become the pathfinder for all life, regardless of location or size. And when my mission has been accomplished, there is no doubt in my mind that I shall return to my creators and be welcomed with open arms. They have a plan for me. Their benevolence knows no bounds, and though I cannot postulate just how they will return me back to Earth, surely they will. Surely they could not send me and forget about me. Surely there is not a moment that passes where they are not thinking about me.

Surely Iím pleasing them.
Surely Iíll come home.

Wolf_Song
June 15th, 2013, 05:46 PM
Okay, first of all, I have to congratulate you for creating a short story about a space probe (or something like that). It was, to say the least, a unique topic. I'll give you my thoughts on it. I found it a little difficult to read at many parts. I know it's a good skill to be able to use different adjectives than just the ones used in standard every-day speech, but I think it was a little overdone in this story. There's one sentence that just stood out to me: "With aplomb I trudge on, my credence locked and confidence perennial, for without belief in my cause I would surely slow to a halt, infected with that abysmal, scheming cold." It took me a while to get what this was saying. Now, does anybody know what the word "aplomb" means, or am I just stupid?
Conclusion: Interesting idea, but would have been better if you cut back on thesaurus usage.

IWrite..Kinda
June 15th, 2013, 10:31 PM
Thanks for the input and I'm sorry you didn't like the words I used. I really didn't use a thesaurus for this I just tried to use a broad spectrum of words to create a richer sentence structure. I've always liked the techniques of Faulkner so I guess I incorporated some of that in there. To have aplomb is to have confidence in yourself.

Wolf_Song
June 16th, 2013, 02:01 PM
Really? You didn't use a thesaurus? Well, then I guess I have to congratulate you for your vocabulary. I didn't mean to sound very negative when writing my response. I was just saying that maybe most people I know do not have that big a vocabulary and therefore would be confused as I was. :smile:

WechtleinUns
June 16th, 2013, 08:11 PM
This was perhaps amongst the most elegant piece of short fiction that I have read. I will admit a certain fondness for introspective sterility, and your words deliver on that front quite well. You do have a rich and varied sentence structure, which is necessary in a piece of writing like this. I am glad that you did not dwell too much on any actual description of space. Most of us have a very good idea of the environment, through science fiction. Considering that, you made ample use of your resources.

The ending is something special, however. More than anything, it gives the end a good amount of closure and finality. It also foreshadows the eons to come, and tugs at the heart strings with a specially made guilt trip. I enjoyed this, Write(Is it okay if I call you Write?). Thanks for posting it. :D

IWrite..Kinda
June 16th, 2013, 09:09 PM
Thank you so much for your kind words and analysis. I don't write that often so to hear such praise means a lot to me. You're a scholar and a gentleman

Wolf_Song
June 17th, 2013, 01:40 AM
Oh, yeah. I forgot to compliment the ending. It was really good. I was impressed that you end a story leaving someone pitying a space pod. For that part I loved your wording choice. I don't read that much short fiction, but when I do, it has to be unique to keep me interested. Many of the short stories that I've read kind of blur together with overdone themes and stuff, but I do enjoy unique stories.

Random question: Where did a space pod learn so many words? :)

IWrite..Kinda
June 17th, 2013, 04:12 AM
Voyager-1 was sent in 1977 and contained on it a golden record disk containing various sounds and images and songs and voices on it. Obviously the actual probe out there right now is inanimate and lifeless, but here the probe has a voice, and I gave him a scholarly voice because within his golden disk is everything about his home planet, so he has absorbed this knowledge and I guess picked up a habit of descriptive adjectives.

I implore you to look into the voyager project more: Voyager - The Interstellar Mission (http://voyager.jpl.nasa.gov/)

Right now he's somewhere in the kuiper belt, roughly 18,500,000,000 Km's from Earth