View Full Version : Heads and Tails for a contest 261 words

May 27th, 2013, 01:57 AM
“Heads, we get married; tails, we break up.” Steve said.

“It is heads, so we get married. Which is good since I didn’t want to break up.” Madeline replied.

“Come on Madeline you can’t possibly want to get married. We fight all the time.

“Yes Steve I want get married. Besides I’m pregnant so we have get married.”

“Pregnant! What do you mean you’re pregnant? I thought we took every precaution.”

“There was that one at my sister’s house at the family barbeque don’t you remember that day?”

“Yes I do,” Steve said.

They were both silent for a moment as they stood and remembered that changed their lives forever. They got drunk. She forgot to take her birth control pills and he forgot to wear a condom. They made love in drunken stupor in her sister’s bedroom. Then her Matthew burst in with his girlfriend Sarah May. The moment was ruined.

Back in the present the silence is broken by Steve when he said:

“Oh so your um three months a long then?” Steve said.

“No I’m five or six months along. The family barbeque was five or six months ago. You’re such an idiot,” Madeline replied.

“So we got to get married then. But when it’s already May 28, 2013?” Steve asked.

“As soon as possible cause of the baby and my parents want to kill you,” she answered.

On June 1, 2013 Steve and Madeline were married. They moved from New Jersey to California. Where baby James Jacob Johnston was born, he was born on September 28, 2013

May 28th, 2013, 01:16 AM
The deadline is July 15. Any comments at all?

June 2nd, 2013, 08:48 PM
What's wrong with it?

June 5th, 2013, 05:19 PM
It seemed to combine a dose of reality and some part of humour. I quite liked it but I'd like to know it was meant to be player out on a stage by performers or if it is simply a short story. If so I'd recommend modifying or removing the part "Back in the present the silence is broken by Steve when he said".

The part is slightly unnecessary because the previous paragraph is only a description of a memory.

Other than that I quite enjoyed reading it and I'd like to know if the dates were used for a specific reason, thank you.

June 6th, 2013, 01:09 AM
I thought the dates were important but other than that I have reason for the dates.