MeeQ
March 18th, 2013, 01:32 AM
ADULT CONTENT AND COURSE LANGUAGE
This is a small story I wrote a long time ago for an LM here of Writing Forums. The concept has dramatically changed and with it a new ending. It's longer and a little more American friendly (I used to much Aussie slang) Enjoy!
I hate needles; they prick and poke, and sting. Usually held by some 'failed to get my doctorate imbecile' named Nancy.
So imagine my excitement when I was held up by one. Doing my job, blah-dy blah blah, Whammy! Get some! Being robbed sucks.
I fucking hate gas stations. With my very being.
“Look at my big fuck’n syringe you guy.”
Oh shit balls. “Aren’t you the fuck-wit that always borrows the toilet key?”
I’m not the wisest of Ghandi’s slippers. But, I’m pretty sure it was... it definitely was.
Why is he holding out an empty hand? “What can I buy with this munnies? Nothing? Exactly, so give me yours.”
“Fine, you jackass, but please get that shitty smelly vein stabber out of my face, you can see I’m too pretty to be so bashfully approached.”
Now really imagine my excitement when he looked at his hand, and realised that it might be the only needle he could jack himself up with that night. And he almost wasted it in my neck. Tisk tisk.
“What’s your real name then huh? Hobo Jim? Hobo Harry?”
Jim’s a good name, good enough for a hobo I think. Harry too.
“Kenneth”
Who names their kid Kenneth, honestly? Losers... I looked at his startled face. Hmm needle? Or money? Or that new pink flavoured Twinkie hanging in the window? Yummy.
“Its raspberry flavour, it tastes like shit”
There I go, convincing the Ol' Kenneth that robbing the store should be his highest priority.
“How much you want, Hobo Jim Kenneth the third of Bin'village?”
“Munnies?”
“No, condoms you dick... Actually, scrap that.” Shit, shouldn’t have said that. “Forget I said anything. I want you to breed.” And I don’t want you to take the last pack or I won’t get any. Shit.
So now really, really imagine my fucking excitement when he smelt my desperation for safe, secure, no baby sex.
“I’m taking these, BALLOONS! Wee.” He was gone.
***
“And that babe, is why I’m going to have to fuck your ass.”
This is a small story I wrote a long time ago for an LM here of Writing Forums. The concept has dramatically changed and with it a new ending. It's longer and a little more American friendly (I used to much Aussie slang) Enjoy!
I hate needles; they prick and poke, and sting. Usually held by some 'failed to get my doctorate imbecile' named Nancy.
So imagine my excitement when I was held up by one. Doing my job, blah-dy blah blah, Whammy! Get some! Being robbed sucks.
I fucking hate gas stations. With my very being.
“Look at my big fuck’n syringe you guy.”
Oh shit balls. “Aren’t you the fuck-wit that always borrows the toilet key?”
I’m not the wisest of Ghandi’s slippers. But, I’m pretty sure it was... it definitely was.
Why is he holding out an empty hand? “What can I buy with this munnies? Nothing? Exactly, so give me yours.”
“Fine, you jackass, but please get that shitty smelly vein stabber out of my face, you can see I’m too pretty to be so bashfully approached.”
Now really imagine my excitement when he looked at his hand, and realised that it might be the only needle he could jack himself up with that night. And he almost wasted it in my neck. Tisk tisk.
“What’s your real name then huh? Hobo Jim? Hobo Harry?”
Jim’s a good name, good enough for a hobo I think. Harry too.
“Kenneth”
Who names their kid Kenneth, honestly? Losers... I looked at his startled face. Hmm needle? Or money? Or that new pink flavoured Twinkie hanging in the window? Yummy.
“Its raspberry flavour, it tastes like shit”
There I go, convincing the Ol' Kenneth that robbing the store should be his highest priority.
“How much you want, Hobo Jim Kenneth the third of Bin'village?”
“Munnies?”
“No, condoms you dick... Actually, scrap that.” Shit, shouldn’t have said that. “Forget I said anything. I want you to breed.” And I don’t want you to take the last pack or I won’t get any. Shit.
So now really, really imagine my fucking excitement when he smelt my desperation for safe, secure, no baby sex.
“I’m taking these, BALLOONS! Wee.” He was gone.
***
“And that babe, is why I’m going to have to fuck your ass.”