View Full Version : A day to remembe3000 words

February 22nd, 2013, 11:09 PM
Our tale begins with Susan at home dreaming of her perfect man. Susan is 28 years old and still single. She dreamed of being married to her perfect man. Ah Susan was a beautiful young woman and she was pleasantly plump.

So as time went on she began to dream of the man she was going to marry. The day that changed her life was the day Kiefer James Michelson walked into her life. The day started out as any other ordinary day.. As she was cleaning the kitchen she noticed a tall, dark, handsome man approaching her house. She had no idea who he was or what he was doing there. He slowly walked to her front porch and rang the doorbell. Susan answered the door and he introduced himself he said “his name was Kiefer Michelson “and he said “you must be Susan.” Susan said “yes I'm Susan and how did you know where I lived.”

Kiefer said “you sent me a letter in the mail via my fan club.” Kiefer is a famous actor and Susan was an unbaptized publisher of Jehovah’s Witnesses and in trying to reach his heart she had sent him the require brochure and two Watch Towers magazines. What she didn't expect was that Kiefer would show up on her doorstep one-day and ask her to marry him. What Susan didn’t know was that Kiefer was a former drug addict and that there was a secret in his dark past. So despite the mess in her house she invited Kiefer into her house and apologizing for the mess since she wasn’t expecting company. Kiefer then said “it’s ok I should have called, wrote or something to let you know I was coming and I'm sorry for this unexpected visit.” Kiefer then gave the red roses and candy he brought with him.

They sat on Susan's bed and they talked for a good while. As they talked Kiefer told Susan that he was married twice before and engaged to be married a third time. However Kiefer said “that he only had child and the third marriage never happened.” He told her everything about his past expect that he was a recovering drug addict. Susan told Kiefer that she was 28 years old and she knew that he was 10 years older than she was, since she had done some research on him via the Internet. Then at that moment Kiefer told Susan he wanted to study the bible but he only wanted to study with only Susan.

Susan was taken aback so she didn’t know how to react. Well that came as a surprise to Susan because she knew Keifer lived in California and did a television show called 48. It is basically a show that plays 2 days for the whole season. Kiefer spoke up to break the silence and said “I love you and I want to marry you.” Before you start protesting about my life, my 2 ex-wives hear me out.

So Kiefer went on to say the reason I love you and want to marry you is because you are the only one not to send me a photograph to autograph instead you sent me a brochure called What Does God Require Of Us and at least two Watch Towers. You had my spiritual interest at heart and not just the interest of yourself. Too me that’s the kind of woman I would want to marry someday.

When Kiefer was finished Susan said that she couldn’t marry him because he’s not of Jehovah’s Witnesses and she could never marry an unbeliever. So Kiefer said “that he wants to become a believer and asked again will you please study with me?” So Susan asked him how she was going to study when he lived in California and she lived in Jersey. Kiefer said “if there's a will there’s away” and at that Susan remembered reading in the 2005 year book of Jehovah’s Witnesses that one sister studied thorough the mail and she could do the same.

During dinner Kiefer was trying to figure how to propose to Susan assuming she would have him. Susan was thinking about her upcoming baptism that should hopefully during the Convention, which was to take place July 8-10, 2005. During dinner Keifer asked Susan questions like would she mind being a step mom to his daughter Sandy Maria Michelson? Susan says she can't picture herself a step mom but if Kiefer and he got married she would want Sandy to consider her a big sister more than a mom. Susan also said” she doesn’t picture herself married to him because she doubts he’ll be willing to give up the lime light of acting since he tried that before and still came back to acting the end.” Kiefer said “if it was true love and it was meant to be he could and would leave acting for the girl of his dreams.”

He also said “the women of film and television have a one-track mind as in getting married for the sake of just getting married but not all.” Susan also says I don’t want to be subjected to the press and all photographers taking pictures at every little thing we say or do. Kiefer tried to assure Susan that won’t happen because he’s giving up the show 48 after this season so he can be with her.

At the end of dinner Keifer decides that marriage isn’t a possibility tight now so he decides to use the engagement ring as a promise ring instead. Just before the check arrives Kiefer pulls the ring out and asks Susan will you be my girlfriend? Susan is surprised by the question that she needs a moment to think before answering. Just as the check arrives Susan says yes on the condition that Keifer keeps in contact with her once he goes back to California and not just to study the bible.

Kiefer promises to write Susan as long wrote him. Kiefer spends a week in Jersey and during that week the first bible study is started. During the bible study Keifer confesses he was a recovering drug addict. She knew that Jehovah accepted all kinds of people into his fold as long they had the right heart condition and Susan felt that Kiefer had the right heart condition otherwise he wouldn’t have wanted to start a bible study with her. After the confession Kiefer made they studied lesson one of the require brochure.

How can you find out what God require? Susan asks the first question: What important information is contained in the Bible and then asks Keifer to read paragraph 1 Kiefer reads the paragraph and Susan asks the question again. Kiefer then looks at the paragraph and answers the question. It tells you the truth about God; it explains how to cope with problems, how to find true happiness and what we must do to please God. Susan commends Kiefer on finding the answers in the paragraph then asks Kiefer to read Psalms 1:1-3. Kiefer says delight in the law and if you follow the law you will succeed. Susan then asks Kiefer doesn’t that seem nice and Kiefer answers yes.

Who is the bible’s author? She now asks Keifer to please read paragraph 2. Susan asks the question 2 again and Kiefer answers the bible was written by some 40 different men bet they were inspired by God to write it. For emphasis Susan asks Kiefer to read 2 Timothy 3:16, 17. Kiefer answers all scriptures are inspired of God and are beneficial for teaching and so forth. Susan says very good Keifer I’m glad to see your understanding of this lesson. Can you please read paragraph 3 for me but before you do that let me ask the question and the question is: Why should you study the bible? Kiefer reads the paragraph and answers: your eternal future depends on your getting know God and doing his will despite any opposition.

Very good Kiefer now let’s read Matthew 5:10-12. What were some reasons to study the bible despite opposition from others? Even though persecuted you should be happy because the kingdom of heavens belongs to them. That’s good Kiefer I’ve enjoyed your study today. Do you have any more bible questions? No I don’t.

After the study Kiefer and Susan talk some more. Kiefer asks Susan if she would mind if he used her bathroom and Susan says no she wouldn’t mind if he used her bathroom. After Kiefer comes out of the bathroom he comes up behind Susan and kisses her. As the week goes by Susan and Kiefer spend a lot of time together, he goes with her to her Christian meetings at the kingdom hall and decides to look up the local kingdom hall in California when he got back. He enjoyed the meeting all the friends at the hall. Well on the night before he was supposed to leave for California Kiefer and Susan exchanged addresses. Kiefer’s address is Kiefer Michelson; 724 North Avenue, Los Angeles, CA 90210 and Susan address is Susan Christopher, 72 Charmed Lane, East Rutherford, NJ 08873.

July 15, 2005
Dear Kiefer,
Hi how are you? I am fine. What have you been up to? Nothing much here. The next letter you’ll receive from me will be the discussion of lesson 2 who is God. What I want you to do is read the paragraphs and answer the questions in your return letter to me. Also read the accompanying scriptures as well and site a few of them as well in your letter. Look forward to hearing from you.


July 18, 2005
Dear Susan,
Hi how are you? I am fine. I’ve been finishing up my last season on 48 then I'm done with acting for good. In about a month I start my new job at the local food store. Which is a big change for me but I think I’ll adjust. I've read lesson 2 and here are my answers to the questions: 1 and 2 the true God is the one who created the heavens and the earth and his name is Jehovah. I read Psalms 83:18, which tells you who god is and his name. 3 the answers is God is a sprit body and it’s his active force and I read Psalms 104:30 which says if you send forth your sprit they are created. 4 Jehovah’s outstanding qualities are love, justice, wisdom, and power. We should do our best to imitate him and Ephesians 5:12 talks about the quality of love and how we should show love to one another just as Jesus loved us. 5. No we shouldn’t use images or symbols to represent the only true God. 6. Talks about how to get know God and that is observing the things he has created and regular study of the bible.

July 21, 2005

Dear Kiefer,

It sounds like you are making fine progress in your study of the bible and I look forward to your next lesson who is Jesus Christ.. Please tell me when you plan to come to New Jersey again.
By Now Kiefer has gone back to California. In missing Susan he decides to write her a letter.

August 27, 2005

Dear Susan
I miss you oh so much. I can’t wait to come back to jersey. I have come to love you oh so much; words can’t really express what I am feeling. But I composed a little poem to express my feelings. Here it goes: you light a fire in me that burns bright. You light a fire in me that makes me love you more and more with each passing day.

September 2, 2005

Dear Susan,

I just wanted to drop you a line before I got your response. I want to hold you in my arms oh so tight and never let you go. You make me smile. When I think about you, you brighten my day, roses are red, and violets are blue. Sugar is sweet and so are you. You are the sunshine of my life. You make my day sparkle.


P.S. call me at 1-978-286-7708 or my cell phone at 1-978-227-7080.

Well the seven days has passed and Kiefer arrived at the airport @ 12:20 pm. he calls Susan from a pay phone. Susan pick up and says hi Kiefer kiss, kiss. How are you? Kiefer answers kiss, kiss back and says very tired from the flight. Oh sorry to hear that. So where are you staying this time? I’m staying at the Maid Marion Hotel again. Oh ok you just started a new job. And you’re already getting so much time off how you managed that.
Oh I managed that because I have family here that is settling estate matters. You see one of my relatives that lived here has died and they left a will but it was destroyed somehow before the reading of the will. So now my family is trying to decide who gets what. Listen I have to go the operator wants more money. Ok bye Kiefer. Can I come by for dinner? He asked as he deposited in more money. Sure replied Susan.

Kiefer says oh does that mean you live with your parents and younger brother. Susan says that while she goes to Ruby Rod College she can’t afford to move out. Kiefer says oh that’s interesting since you’ve always had my study outside of your house. Well Kiefer that will change this time around it’s too cold to be outside and study the bible. I’ve even grown my hair out a bit. I like it short why you grew it short Susan. Well Kiefer that’s because it got cold here in Jersey. Move to California live with me. Well Kiefer I can’t live with you unless we were married first and I can’t marry you till you’re baptized. Oh I know I'm sorry I forgot. Are we going to have a discussion of lesson 10 of the require magazine. Not tonight, tonight we are having dinner with my family and my long distance boyfriend. Awe thanks well I have to go I arrived at the hotel.

Kiefer checks in with ease this time. People at the hotel give him star treatment in hopes of he’ll give them an autograph. What they don’t know yet is Kiefer has quit acting for good. They don’t know yet because the last season of 48 that Kiefer filmed is in the process of airing now. On the ways to Susan’s house he decided to stop at a florist and get some red roses for Susan. He walked to Susan’s house because she only lived a few blocks away from the Maid Marion hotel. Besides he enjoyed a leisurely walk in the night air. He arrived at Susan's house at exactly 7:00 pm just as Susan's younger brother Shane was putting the finishing touches on the bake ziti.

After he walked into the house he gave Susan the roses. Susan told him thank you and then asked him what would he like to drink? Kiefer said he would have a soda and it didn’t matter what kind. So Susan got him a Diet Dr. Michael Cherry Vanilla. Kiefer thanked Susan for the soda. Susan introduced Kiefer to her family: her dad Shane sr., her mom Shelly and her brother Shane Jr. Susan told Kiefer to call Shane Jr., junior so he wouldn’t confuse her dad or her brother. Kiefer said ok.

Kiefer then asked Shelly what she did for a living. Shelly said she worked at the local Shoo bees, a sub shop. So the conversation proceeded that way with Kiefer asking everyone the same question: Susan's dad Shane said right now he's not working because the company he worked for to Brazil and he retired. Susan's brother Shane Jr. said he was unemployed and at the moment he wasn’t really looking.

Susan asked Kiefer about his daughter Sandy. Like what is Sandy like and how old is she. Kiefer said that Sandy is a sweet, honest hearted young woman, and he loved her dearly. Kiefer told Susan that his daughter is 17 and she was born April 16, 1988. Susan said wow she was only 12 years older than his daughter. As the dinner progressed the conversation started to lean toward marriage and what did Kiefer plan for his future. So Kiefer decides to take that moment to propose to Susan. He gets on bended knee and asks “Susan will you marry me?” Susan says that she has to think about it for a few days and then she’ll let him know. She doesn't know what to say or do. So she takes the matter to Jehovah in prayer. After meditating on her prayer and considering her options Susan decides to call Kiefer so she can give him her decision. Kiefer leaves right after hanging up on Susan.

Ten minutes later he's on doorstep and ringing the doorbell. Susan answers the door and invites Kiefer into the hall and tells him she can’t marry him despite all the changes he made in his life. Well Kiefer doesn’t take that new to well. He decides then and there to stop studying the bible. Susan tries to convince Kiefer to continue to study the bible but he won’t hear it. Nothing Susan says or does can convince Kiefer to keep studying the bible with her or anyone.

Kiefer storms out of the house and storms back to the hotel. He calls the airline to change his flight to an earlier flight back to California. He starts cursing up a storm and began wishing he met Susan. What will happen to Susan and Kiefer? Will Susan move on to François Daily? Or will Kiefer start to study again. Stayed tuned. As told by Susan’s best friend Frances Marie March.

Well I got it down to 3000 words now tell me what you think?

February 28th, 2013, 01:55 AM
Any comments at all?

March 18th, 2013, 02:16 AM
First off -- A Day To Remember is also the name of an awesome band :D

The story is solid, not the genre that I usually read but definitely does have potential and was pretty interesting. I did like the episodic feel at the end.

Unfortunately there were some cons, most notably there was a major lack of punctuation. There were also some parts that were a little hard to read and kinda got lost. A few spelling and grammar mistakes scattered throughout -- not a lot though.

I hope this helps. Keep at it!

March 21st, 2013, 01:28 AM
Yeah that helps.