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View Full Version : The Blind Dates - Part Two *contains mature themes/adult content*



nicolam2711
February 21st, 2013, 05:41 PM
This is the second part of something I'm writing. Probably best to read the first one to get a general idea of it first. I'm not sure with this piece if it needs more detail on the conversations with Luke, or just more detail in general. But any ideas/criticisms are more than welcome. Thank you!




Monday morning came all too fast for Charlotte. Back to the chaos of a classroom filled with 30 nine year olds! Luckily she'd managed to do all the preparation and marking, albeit with a lot of effort, by the end of Sunday night then she flopped into bed. So when lunch time rolled around and the children had finally began to lose a little of the after weekend excitement which always created a buzzing noise of whispers throughout the room, Charlotte was free to relax in the staff room rather than plough through some unfinished work whilst eating.


Amelia was already settled in at their comfy corner in the staff room with a cup of tea and her feet up waiting on Charlotte. She had a sly grin on her face as she seen Charlotte arrive. "So how was your lovely, charming hunk on Saturday then?" she laughed. Ever since they'd met on their first day teaching they'd become inseparable in school whenever they could, and seen each other as much as possible for girls' nights out at weekends. The vodka scent of a hangover, obviously not appropriate for a school day.


"Hunk? Yes. Charming and lovely? I have no idea. I snuck out before he woke up. Couldn't face the awkward small chat this time! No more of that for a while I think, maybe I'm past the age where walks of shame are acceptable." Amelia's face showed the shock she felt.


"Too old? For delicious men? Ridiculous! I'm the same age and I love this life," Amelia loved the single life, the thrill of a challenge and not knowing who would be next. Often she ended up tangled up with married men but she wasn't the type to plead for the man to leave his wife. She actually almost preferred the married men, strictly no strings and no chance of a long term future.


"We're different Amelia! You love the thrills and the rollercoaster of that life. I love it only after a few drinks, then I wake up ashamed and regretting yet another short fling. I think I'm going to try dating. Jen's got a work mate who's willing to give it a try. And if not Mike's got a friend too. Maybe blind dates will change the game up a little."


Amelia looked disbelieving. "So you think Mr. Right is waiting, knowing a friend, to be set up on a blind date?"


"I'm not sure! I have no idea! I just feel I need to try something different, Mr Right certainly hasn't been crawling the bars we've been in."


Amelia contemplated this, "Fair enough, Mr Right Now has been though, I should know!" she laughed, "However, if I agree to losing my wing woman to all these blind dates, I want full disclosure on all details, and if Jen and Mike are unsuccessful, I want a turn."


"Surely if you knew Mr Right he'd be yours. How could you possibly have anyone to set me up with? And of course you get all the details! You know me, can't hold my own water."


"Ahh he isn't my Mr Right but he may be Mr Perfect. Not my type though, he wants a committed girl, and that just isn't me. And don't worry, he's not even sloppy seconds."


Just before they had to leave to return to their classes Charlotte's phone buzzed. Text message from Jen letting her know that her first blind date was on Thursday, Luke was willing and ready. After she relayed the name of the restaurant they were to meet at to Amelia, she confirmed it was an expensive restaurant. Time for some shopping then, don't want to dress like a teacher in a place like that.




Thursday arrived too soon. Charlotte had straightened her hair, pinned it up, had it down, curled it. There were outfits lying all over the bed, all over the floor. Her room appeared to have a bomb hit it. Luckily this new idea means she shouldn't be worrying about it, he won't see her bedroom tonight. Eventually she settled on leaving her curled brown hair down and loose, little make up and a little black dress. Every girls essential clothing. Once she was ready she called a taxi, and waited. The butterflies were banging around inside her, a date with a complete stranger...what had she been thinking? This could be a total disaster.


After arriving at the restaurant the maitre d' led her towards the table for Mr Hemmings. As she followed, Charlotte looked ahead to try and guess which table she was being led to. Most of the tables were already ruled out as they had groups of business types at them, or couples already dining. Suddenly they had arrived at their table. The man at the table stood up to greet her. Jen had done the man no justice. Good looking was an understatement. The rich blonde hair, those piercing blue eyes, strong chiselled jaw and broad shoulders...Charlotte was suddenly filled with hope for tonight.


Luke greeted her with a quick kiss to her hand and introduced himself. It all felt a little formal knowing that they already knew certain things about one another. They sat down and ordered a drink, Charlotte was only having one glass of wine since she had work the next day. And so far it looked like she wouldn't need the alcohol just to get her through tonight. He asked all the right questions, listened to all her answers and behaved like the perfect gentleman.


So what was wrong with the picture she wondered? As she chatted away to him while eating dinner, he never once checked the prices, although she was going to try and insist that they split the bill, he let her try his dessert as well as her own and he complimented her so many times that she began to believe everything he said about how beautiful she was just from the constant reinforcement. As it went on though, she began to feel maybe he was just a bit too perfect, a bit too nice. And she felt that she had to be just as wonderful. Trying hard not to reveal any immediate flaws. While trying to find one in him to let herself off the hook.


He ate with his mouth closed, never once checked his phone, didn't even glance at the gorgeous woman who walked by with her cleavage so much on show that even Charlotte had to stare. Charlotte was starting to believe he wasn't even human. She learned that he was close to his parents, although he didn't live with them and still visited them and his younger sister every Sunday for dinner. Luke seemed to pity her situation, but to her it was normal. He also seemed very keen to introduce her into the heart of his family.


Charlotte had always been closest to her mum but with divorced parents and new marriages, neither of the houses her parents lived in were home to her. And she loved that the place she felt most comfortable was in her own home. So she didn't have to go running to a parent when she felt down. The divorce during her teenage years had made her fiercely independent, especially as she had no siblings to endure it with. Mostly she had just made herself at home with Jen or Matt.


After they'd finished dinner and Luke had insisted on paying for the bill, reassuring her that her company alone had been worth every penny. They decided that since it wasn't too late they'd walk back to her flat since it wasn't far, before Luke called a taxi. They walked hand in hand chatting away as they went. A woman selling plastic, fake roses interrupted their flow and before Charlotte could refuse the woman, she found herself being presented with a single red, plastic rose. "Least it will last forever," Luke grinned as she blushed almost as red as the rose.


Once they arrived at the flat Luke kissed her cheek once and thanked her for such a great night. They swapped numbers and promised to be in touch and off he went into the night.


Climbing the stairs to her flat Charlotte tried to gather her thoughts on the night, he'd been perfect just as Jen had said. Not too pushy either, and definitely not the type for a one night stand. But something in her felt that she was missing something. That excitement, the buzz of meeting someone that you knew you had clicked with. Could you develop that? Or was this it? For the perfect man did you have to give up the excitement? Or was he just the wrong perfect man for her?


Frustrated with herself for finding a man to be "too nice". Charlotte headed to bed, she'd see how she felt in the morning. And she'd get the opinions of both Amelia and Jen. Somehow she knew they'd have complete opposite opinions on this one.

DouglasMB
February 25th, 2013, 07:58 PM
I really liked it... very easy to read and flowed nicely. I am not overly not picky though so my opinion can not count for much lol

Nave1027
March 4th, 2013, 11:25 PM
Great stuff! This is interesting, keep it coming! :)

Ariel
March 8th, 2013, 12:07 AM
This has the same problems as the first one. I'm also having trouble connecting to Charlotte, she's kind of an "every woman" and doesn't seem to have any weird tics. I have no idea what the date was like except "too perfect."

nicolam2711
March 8th, 2013, 12:10 AM
Yeah I think I was having the same issues reading it back with the date. Maybe need to find out more about Luke and maybe extend the whole date. Thanks for the advice though.

coolcold40
March 13th, 2013, 10:57 PM
I think it's a bit to fast as if you rushed through it like a chore. And I also can't connect with the characters it's as if they are from a completely different planet where even if you mess up you seem perfect in every way. It was a little hard to picture some of the settings because sure the place sounded fancy, but how fancy? What makes it fancy enough to cost a lot of money? What are some details about Luke, what are some things he was willing to share about himself? You made him seem As if he were 2D nothing, out of the box but also nothing in.

nicolam2711
March 13th, 2013, 11:09 PM
Yeah... I think this may be needing completely scrapped :). Luke is needing way more attention. And detail. Thanks for the feedback though

nicolam2711
March 15th, 2013, 12:29 AM
Is it possible to delete this thread until I rewrite the second part?

King Robyn Hood
March 15th, 2013, 12:23 PM
I Love Luke's character already

nicolam2711
March 15th, 2013, 08:38 PM
Hm I still think Luke really needs some work :) we need to see more and hear more from him I think.

Lewdog
March 15th, 2013, 08:51 PM
I prefer blind dates, that way I only have to worry about smelling good instead of what I look like.