View Full Version : (C.19) Thank God I am a Grateful Person – Part 2

January 15th, 2013, 12:41 PM
“You know, Sam, before I continue telling you all that happened when my guru was distributing the Personal Power Mantra here, I need to tell you something.”

“Sure, dear. What is that?”

“I don’t want you to think that my guru didn’t care about me, and I also don’t want you to think bad things about the devotees. I am giving you my version of the story. I don’t know how the story would be told by the devotees. They care so much about their service. They try to serve Gurudeva so perfectly. Perhaps they thought I wasn’t capable enough. And as for Gurudeva, he had to be focused on his main task, he was giving many mantras to many people, he was channeling their own personal nature, and his secretary didn’t want to bother him with small things, like the political matters that were going on between the devotees and me.”

“I can understand all you said, but still it doesn’t feel right. I know you, and I know how you work. You are a serious person, and I am pretty sure you were doing your best. You seem to be so organized. I don’t think it was necessary for the devotees to interfere.”

“It wasn’t necessary, and it was inappropriate. Things would have been better if they didn’t. But they thought it was a good idea at the time.”

“Are you ready to tell me what happened next?”

“It was a pain. I will tell you, then. When my guru came to Brazil, even though he was supposed to stay at my institute, we arranged a room for him in a 5-star hotel, and his secretary was paying for it. But my guru also asked me to book a room for myself in that hotel, even though I might not sleep a night in it. As it turned out, I didn’t use it. During the whole week he was staying here, I was paying for that room I never used.”
“Somehow, I suppose, my guru realized that I was having problems with the Venezuelan devotees, so in order to keep me away from them, he gave me another service. He asked me to translate a book, that would be given to the people who were receiving the mantra. I love to translate things as much as I like writing and editing, but I didn’t like to do that service at all. I was at my institute, we were hosting a crowd, Gurudeva was here, and I had to stay at my computer, translating a text. It didn’t make any sense to me, but I was pretty fast and when I was almost finished, they said to me that they were ready to go to Argentina.”

“Rewind, dear. I am sorry, I am a little lost. Let me get this straight. Your guru kept distributing mantras in your institute. You had booked a room in the hotel, but you were not sleeping in there. You were translating a book. And then they informed you that you all were going to travel to Argentina?”

“Yes, Sam. You understood that right. When I heard them saying I was supposed to be at the airport to get on the flight to Argentina, the first thing I thought was about the room in that hotel. I thought I should check out. It wouldn’t make any sense to keep paying for a room I wasn’t using. But they were ready to go to the airport. They had already checked out from the hotel. They could have told me about that so I could too, but they didn’t. They could have warned me, I don’t know why they didn’t. I suppose it wasn’t on their minds.”

“Vilminha, how do you expect me not to think bad things about the devotees?”

“I don’t know, Sam. I am working on it myself. I went to Gurudeva and said that I had to go to that hotel to check out, and I would meet them at the airport, and if I couldn’t be on time, I’d catch the next flight. I was almost crying, Gurudeva could see. He realized how unfair the devotees were being with me. Gurudeva said he would be waiting for me, no-one would be leaving for the airport until I came back.”
“When I was leaving the Institute on my way to the hotel, there was still a line of people standing there to receive the mantra, and I was surprised to see Eduardo. My brother was there waiting to receive his. I said to Eduardo that he shouldn’t wait, it would take ages until it was his turn. Perhaps it wouldn’t be possible to receive the mantra at all, because we were about to go to Argentina. Eduardo was so humble, he didn’t want me to use my influence to get him in to see Gurudeva before the other people. He kept waiting in the line. As I couldn’t wait any longer, I left him there, and went to the hotel to check out.”
“When I got back to the institute, I could see Gurudeva embracing Eduardo. He had just received his mantra. I was so happy to see that scene. I cried out of happiness, despite everything I went through, seeing that made it all worth it. I forgot about everything that I went through previously.”

“Eduardo received mantra from your guru!”

“Such a beautiful scene. Gurudeva is so tall, he was embracing him. I was feeling some kind of ecstasy I can’t describe, my job seemed to be done, I didn’t mind the rest.”

“And after that you went to Argentina?”

“As soon as my guru saw me he made a sign to his secretary and we all ran to the airport and went to Argentina. And then I was nobody again. I had left my kingdom, so I wasn’t the queen. If even here I wasn’t respected, think of how it was there. We didn’t remain in Argentina that long, just a couple of days. We went back to Săo Paulo, and then to Rio de Janeiro, but it was impossible for me to organize an event on such short notice, so my guru decided to go back to Caracas. So they all left, but I didn’t. I remained in Brazil, depressed, of course. I couldn’t digest what I had been through for months.”

“What happened to Hrday? You didn’t mention him? Was he even in Brazil?”

“It is funny you know, it was all bad timing. He couldn’t come to Brazil because he had auditions. I say it was bad timing because my ex wasn’t here either. He had moved to India just few months prior to that. And the three of us had always wanted my guru to visit Brazil. It would have been so much easier on me if I had Hrday and my ex with me. And they also would have had so much fun. But it was a bad timing, none of them could be here. For many years Hrday was in Europe and never got the chance to be heard, and at that very time he got his auditions. And the same thing with my ex. During our marriage we organized the temple with the devotees so many times, we invited Gurudeva to come here and he didn’t. And finally, when he came, my ex had recently left for India.”

“Did your guru visit Brazil again?”

“He did. The following year he came again and it was another pain. I mean, it is always auspicious to be around him. I don’t want to seem ungrateful. I suppose something must be wrong with me. I try, I try so hard, but things never work between the devotees and me.”

“Do you want my chest before you tell me this story?”

“It would be lovely, Sam. I’d appreciate it.”

“You are so brave, dear.”

“Do you think so, Sam? I don’t like cowardice. I’d rather die than live giving up. It may seem that I give up, but I don’t. I only rest for some time, to renew my energy for the next round.”

“So, rest now, dear, you have another round, another story to tell. So many stories, I can’t believe how many things you’ve gone through.”

“Now that I am with you, I forgot everything. I only think that I am with you.”