View Full Version : (C.13) Laughter is The Best Medicine – Part 3

January 9th, 2013, 01:45 PM
“It is funny, you know, Sam, I was always good at talking to people. I mean, being in public, under the spotlight and all, but in fact I don’t have many friends. I could quote another saying my mother always told, to show you how I think about this. It goes like that: Antes só do que mal acompanhado. which means ‘It’s better to stay alone than to seek bad company.’ I don’t like to go to parties, even though people invite me. Some clients would like to have me as their friends, but I never allow people to get so close. Social life seems to be such a vain thing, it seems so superficial. I can’t start a conversation in those circumstances, I can’t talk about a subject in vague terms and not go to its depths. Maybe there is something wrong with me.”

“If that is the case, there is something wrong with me too. I share the same taste, I don’t like to go to parties either. If I start to talk to people I disagree with, I always give good arguments, perhaps I seem to them to be arrogant, but for me they are ignorant people.”

“If you are arrogant, this makes two of us. I am arrogant too. In fact, what is wrong about wanting to develop a subject, wanting to have a good conversation, exploring the depths of a thing, rather than just having fun, drinking and dancing, and all that nonsense? I don’t get it, Sam.”

“Me neither, dear. But you always have fun with your family. You have lots of fun. You laugh and all, and these sayings seem to be pretty entertaining.”

“I don’t have any other choice, Sam. Either I laugh or I cry. So as they say, laughter is the best medicine.”

“What do you mean when you say you could cry?”

“Some of the sayings are really insane. Not my grandmother’s sayings, but some that other people told me – my brothers, the physiotherapist, neighbors, everybody who knows I am working on that book about sayings comes to me with some other sayings.”

“Please, tell me one of those.”

“Okay, I will, but remember, you are the one who asked for it. Here it goes: O peido é um telegrama que chega via estação bunda para avisar que o trem merda está chegando. which means ‘The fart is a telegram that arrives at the butt station to tell that the shit train is about to arrive.’”

“Oh, my! Who told you this one?”

“Eduardo did, he is the king, I mean, the queen. Let it be, it is too complicated. Actually, it is not. It is just the way we address him. He is the queen if you know what I mean.”

“Vilminha, you are confusing me.”

“Don’t you think that I am confused myself? I told you, Sam, I laugh not to cry. But I must admit, some of those sayings are pretty funny, I can’t help but laugh at them.”

“Tell me another one.”

“There is a famous architect, the one who designed the Capital of Brazil, the city of Brasília. He died when he was 104 years old, just few days before his 105th birthday. There is a famous saying he used to say all the time, it goes like that: A vida é assim: nasceu, morreu, fodeu. which means ‘Life is like that: you are born, you die, you’re fucked.’ His name was Oscar Niemeyer, and he was also the man who designed the United Nations building in New York. That guy was brilliant, a real genius, and it is so funny to hear old people cursing.”

“I suppose so.”

“But there are other funny sayings that are not so dirty, grandma’s sayings, like this one: Queres um pouco do que mal me chega e se aceitares pouca vergonha tens? which means ‘Do you want to take some of what little I have, and prove that you have no shame?’ I like this one, because even though the person saying it is being polite, and is trying to offer to the other person the little he has, he is also saying if the other person accepts it, it will mean the other person has no shame. What is being offered shouldn’t be accepted, because it is too little, it couldn’t be satisfactory even for one person, let alone for two people.”

“Well, sometimes we do things like that. We offer something out of politeness, but in fact we don’t want to offer the thing, and deep inside we are praying for the person not to accept it.”

“See, these sayings are so frank. This is why I have no other choice, but to laugh.”

“Tell me another one.”

“Let me think, let me think, I must decide from which category, I have divided them into three – light, medium and heavy – for obvious reasons, if you know what I mean.”

“I suppose I do. You just mentioned a heavy one.”

“No, Sam that one I told you, the one Eduardo told me, is in fact categorized as medium.”

“It can’t be. I wonder then how the heavy ones go.”

“They are nasty, disgusting and obscene, and I never know if I should laugh or cry when I hear one of those. But I made a vow of happiness here, so I’ve decided to laugh for mum’s sake, and she laughs as well, insane old lady.”

“Oh, Vilminha, such a happy family you have.”

“I suppose so. But let me choose another one. What about a medium? Can you take it?”

“Well, I thought the mediums were heavy, but if you say so, I will take them, go on.”

“So, here it goes: O que é um pum para quem já está cagado? which means ‘What is a fart for the person who has already soiled his pants?’”

“Oh, boy, Vilminha, are you really sure this is not a heavy one?”

“I’ve told you, Sam, the heavy ones can make you cry, whether out of laughter, or out of insanity. They drive me crazy, it is unbearable to think about the whole idea expressed in those sayings.”

“So, rephrasing, you didn’t get just a happy family, your family is also insane.”

“Now you got it right. This is what happens down here. They are all insane people, and I am one of them, I suppose.”

“And now you are with me. I am not quite sane myself. I hold a façade of pseudo-sanity, but this can’t trick everybody around me. Can it trick you?”

“No, Sam, it cannot. I know you are insane, dear. And I love you because of it. Let’s create our own kind of insanity, and never mind about the normal people. I don’t care about them anyway.”

“Me neither. I enjoy your insanity, I was drawn to it since I read your letter.”

“That letter was meant for an insane person, I threw my net and got my fish.”

“You’ve got me, dear.”

“I am so happy I did. Now we became an insane couple. Who would think it would happen?”

“I wouldn’t. I didn’t even dare to dream of it.”

“Perhaps your guardian angels made the arrangement for you. They knew you wouldn’t go after that yourself. This was arranged in heaven, I am certain of that, and I am grateful. Thank God I’ve found you.”

“Thank God I was found.”