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nathanmb
December 11th, 2012, 07:39 AM
I got an Idea for a novel. (I am fourteen by the way.)


Setting: Year is 2030 - Based in Dallas, Texas.


The book is about one basic idea: A Revolution, that starts with teenagers. Due to populations exceeding over two-billion in the United states after World War III and many immigration's to the U.S, the U.S government sends out agents who take out many teenagers and force them to be forgotten. (The process done is when a rapid-spreading lethal virus was spreading people were forced to take a shot which also included a undetectable chip that changes certain memories to forget that of one person and all events that happened with them.)


The plot: A 16 year old teenager chip is detected and taken out as it malfunctions, he is the only one in the United States and is forced to be the one to bring out everything and show everyone what the government has doing without proof and to change the course of things and their ways of taking out the population.

Michael Tea
December 11th, 2012, 08:44 AM
It is a decent idea. However every idea kind of depends on how you put it to practice. Even a weak plot may turn a book into a massive success if the writing is good.

If you aren't sure of your writing skills, just post a sample of the story and people can give you feedback and help you improve. :)

Burlesk
December 11th, 2012, 11:02 AM
It sounds like it might have potential. I'm a bit confused, though, by what is being done to these teenagers. What does 'the U.S government sends out agents who take out many teenagers and force them to be forgotten' mean? Do you mean 'take them out' as in 'kill them'? It also isn't clear what role the 'lethal virus' plays in this.

I think you need to do two things. First, set out the idea more clearly – that way, people will be better able to comment on it, and you will be able to clarify the idea in your own mind. That will help you with the second thing you need to do, which is to actually start writing the story. Even if it all goes wrong and fizzles out, you'll have gained some valuable experience.

cmshepard
December 11th, 2012, 01:07 PM
An outline may help you on this. I hate outlines and always have, but when I have some slightly unformed, "everywhere" ideas, an outline helps me put everything in its place. Like, exactly what is the government doing with the teeangers? What role does the virus play? What's the MAIN part of the plot, and what are some just cool ideas you could incorporate into your "filler?"

Have fun with it, that's the best way to write.

nathanmb
December 11th, 2012, 03:26 PM
Answer 1: The virus plays part because EVERYONE must take a shot which also injected the chip into the person.

Answer 2: (I am not 100% sure yet on this) The U.S Government sends in 5 girls to Dallas, Texas- they go and capture them with these 5 girls. Then afterwords they are taken to another country secretly.

Thank you a lot for your feedback, when I start more on the book I will be putting down a piece from it.

vasyaivanov
December 12th, 2012, 07:10 AM
Even though looks like Americans like blood, this promises a lot of it , which I am not sure is a good thing if you want to get an idea across.
And most good sci-fi books have an idea which makes people think about the present as well as about the future. What do you think your story would make one think about?

Jon M
December 12th, 2012, 07:49 PM
Well, since you asked ...

First issue I have is with the date -- it doesn't seem likely all of this would happen in 17 years. Could, obviously. But the government rounding up teenagers? That is a vastly different reality than the current one. You'll have to supply a credible explanation.

Second issue, and this may be endemic of young people, is this notion of great Evil (with capital E), and there being only The One (also in capitals) who can rescue Earth. This idea appeals to many folk, but personally it really bores me. Gray areas, ambiguous zones where people aren't sure their actions / thoughts are right or wrong, where there is no evil -- just unique circumstances -- interests me most.

Synopsis kind of reminds me of something a former creative writing instructor said once. He said a lot of young writers tend to include all of these world-ending scenarios in an attempt to make their stories interesting, full of conflict. And that is what you have here, essentially: not just WWIII, not just a country- or world-wide virus, but an Evil Government. To do any of these ideas justice requires a huge amount of research ... I'm not sure you fully realize how much work you have here.

Jeko
December 12th, 2012, 08:00 PM
A good idea. So what's your story?

Also, great to see more young talent popping up!

Jagunco
December 12th, 2012, 10:01 PM
I've just realized this mate but you've stated a population boom of teenagers in 17 years AFTER a world war.... you might want to play with your dates an perhaps miss out a war or something.

How about some other part of the planet was made uninhabitable and so more and more people ended up in the US and to combat it teenagers were made sterile rather than dead to control the population growth? Bit grayer areas there.

nathanmb
December 13th, 2012, 05:26 AM
After seeing this I thought about this:

Instead of a world war, a series of natural disasters leaves 20% of the earths land under the water due to earthquakes, erosion, tsunami's/hurricanes, and a major area of the Greenland ice sheet melting raising the sea level worldwide a few meters.

The reason why the government rounds up kids i am still thinking about

the antithesis
December 13th, 2012, 07:06 AM
I am reminded of a movie called Wild in the Streets. I have not seen it, but my father did before I was born. It's about a 25 year old who becomes elected president and all kinds of weird stuff happens, like everyone over thirty is put in concentration camp and kept on LSD. It ends with the president walking by some water where he meets a kid who's throwing stones, so he starts throwing stones in the water and talking and it eventually becomes an argument until the president says, well, I'm the president, so there and he walks away. The kid stews for a bit and says, when I grow up, I'll become president and when I do, I'll make everyone over the age of ten be on LSD or something like that.

I'm getting a similar vibe of your idea, if you can dig it.

Lewdog
December 13th, 2012, 07:14 AM
I got an Idea for a novel. (I am fourteen by the way.)


Setting: Year is 2030 - Based in Dallas, Texas.


The book is about one basic idea: A Revolution, that starts with teenagers. Due to populations exceeding over two-billion in the United states after World War III and many immigration's to the U.S, the U.S government sends out agents who take out many teenagers and force them to be forgotten. (The process done is when a rapid-spreading lethal virus was spreading people were forced to take a shot which also included a undetectable chip that changes certain memories to forget that of one person and all events that happened with them.)


The plot: A 16 year old teenager chip is detected and taken out as it malfunctions, he is the only one in the United States and is forced to be the one to bring out everything and show everyone what the government has doing without proof and to change the course of things and their ways of taking out the population.

Have you read "Lord of the Flies?"

That would help you more than any of us probably could.

nathanmb
December 15th, 2012, 04:22 PM
I will read it

benluby
December 15th, 2012, 04:48 PM
The memory wipe chip I'd probably avoid, if you don't mind a bit of concern. Reason being, to selectively erase the memories of everyone that knows one person in particular borders on magical ability, rather than technological development.
Perhaps the chip contains a drug that, when said chip is activated, is released into the system and causes cardiac arrest or some other method of killing the teens? Then, you have the one teen who survived it, because his chip malfunctions...and now, the government has to send out their hit teams to try to take him out, and these aren't assassins with a lot of practice, thus, he has a chance to spread the word and find a way to neutralize the chips?

farefar
December 16th, 2012, 06:27 AM
I got an Idea for a novel. (I am fourteen by the way.)


Setting: Year is 2030 - Based in Dallas, Texas.


The book is about one basic idea: A Revolution, that starts with teenagers. Due to populations exceeding over two-billion in the United states after World War III and many immigration's to the U.S, the U.S government sends out agents who take out many teenagers and force them to be forgotten. (The process done is when a rapid-spreading lethal virus was spreading people were forced to take a shot which also included a undetectable chip that changes certain memories to forget that of one person and all events that happened with them.)


The plot: A 16 year old teenager chip is detected and taken out as it malfunctions, he is the only one in the United States and is forced to be the one to bring out everything and show everyone what the government has doing without proof and to change the course of things and their ways of taking out the population.

A solid start however you might want to consider making it a more realistic so that readers can relate to the scenario.
1. Numbers are a great way to make a solid basis for any setting. ( consider dropping the population from two billion to something more on the lines of one billion or less) The USA currently has about 320 Million citizens. So two billion might be a bit much

2. Establish a vivid state of the country. The majority of the people reading your book will be from a first world country and as such know what it is like to do something as simple as buying groceries or stopping by a local fast food joint. Use these locations and daily motions of a common middle classed teenager to twist the world. In this way you can once again help the reader relate to your fiction.

3. Writing anything lengthy can be difficult due to the sheer size of the writing. Take it step by step. As you come up with new plot developments write them down. Don't worry about staying in order simply jot down whatever comes to mind then review it later. After a few months you will have the whole book drafted and ready for revision. Think of it as a large puzzle with all the pieces in your head, put the pieces in place as you realize their appropriate place.

nathanmb
December 16th, 2012, 10:47 PM
@Benluby
I have done research on it, and it is possible. The way it is done basically putting the human mind under short term, but selective memory loss. The idea is for the chip to automatically select the memories and selectively choose and change a memory.

@Farefar
Thanks a lot for your reply. I will take your advice.

nathanmb
December 16th, 2012, 10:56 PM
I will show you some of my writing skills. (remember im 14) It will give you an idea on the new technology based in this books time. I have not started writing the book yet, but I am basing this small piece on the book and this will NOT be used in the final draft.

I went over to the wall with my crowbar. I saw John pointing at the crate I was right next to. I looked at it and started prying it open. John was mouthing something, I wasn't paying attention.
The top of the crate loudly cracked and broke open. Inside were assault rifles, PDW's, grenades, and handguns. I went a grabbed one of the assault rifle, an ACR. Four grenades, and I found a machine pistol, an older model though. It looked like a G18, I switched it to fully automatic.
John loudly whispered "Woof" for the sign. I frantically turned the safty off my ACR and grabbed one of the PDW's, a classic MP5. I tossed him it and pulled out a bag and put magazines for the MP5 in it, including a pistol with the safty on. I toss it to him and he silently grabs the bag, a cartridge falls out of the bag and caused all attention to go to Johns area of the room.
John goes to the side of a crate and I see him soundlessly saying a prayer. He grabs his MP5 ready to take a man out the first second he sees him. I ready my ACR and noticed it has a XR Sight on it. I check through it and press a button. I see 5 men behind the crates through the X-Ray Sight, two unarmed, the others with the standard M94 Rifle.
I whisper to him "Three armed, two unarmed. Unless I say not to, we will take them all out."
"You sure?" He whispered back. I nodded.
I saw one of them through the X-Ray holding something, but it is not detectable. He turned the corner and before I could fire he threw a taze grenade. It explodes right next to John sending him into a great spasm while being charged with hundreds of volts of electricity. I saw one man turn the corner, I ducked down, I heard footsteps and one of the men saying "Search for anyone else." Right then I came up from my cover, ready to do all I can for our goal.. Everything felt like it was slow.
I aimed at the first armed man looking at me, the only one who looked at me at the time, I fired at him and shot one of his taze grenades and the rest started to struggle to stay concious. Johns body lay limpless and asleep from the charge. As the grenades effects wore off I aim at one of them. I start thinking of everything that can result from me doing this.
But I have to, I got a reason for all of this, after the massacer, it is time to take this to the next level.