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Winston
May 27th, 2012, 09:28 PM
Now, I'm a tellin' this story just tha way I done heard it. If youn's don't like it, don't blame me...


Boudreaux and Thibodeaux was out coon huntin' one nice Spring evening. Boudreaux's best coon dog, Bocephus, had taken sick somehows. Thibodeaux volunteered to take Bocephus back home while Boudreaux finished up the hunt.

After the sun dropped down below the bayou, Boudreaux walked back home with a brace of coons over each shoulder. He was a might bit worried about Bocephus, and went straight away to Thibodeaux.

"How's mah dog doin'?"

Thibodeaux shrugged, "He up and died."

Boudreaux's sighed deep, and dropped his coons. Then got real angry like. "You just don't tell a man his dog died like that," he explained, "there's a word called 'tact'. I lernt it in school..."

"I didn't finish school."

"And that's why I'm gonna 'splain it to ya. Ya see, if you's got to break bad news to someone, you just don't blurt it out like a belch after a bowl of gumbo."

"I like gumbo..."

"Don't distract me!" Boudreaux roared, "Now, where wuz I? Ok, In this sit uration, you'd say like 'Oh, good 'ol Bocephus. I really love the way he used to chase squirrels back in the holler. I bet he's in a place now, doin' that'. See how that works?"

"So, I'm supposed ta lie?"

"Yer supposed to break it more gentle-like, that's all!" Boudreaux picked-up his coons, and looked over to the cabin. Smoke was a commin' from the stove, and he could smell vittles being cooked. "Say sonthin' smells good. Granny done got dinner 'bout ready?"

"Oh, she didn't finish," Thibodeaux stopped short, and thought. His eyes lit up, then he explained to Boudreaux, "Oh, good 'ol Granny. I really love the way she used to chase squirrels back in the holler..."

Jim Alias
May 28th, 2012, 08:30 AM
There is something inherently funny about people with names like Thibodeaux talking with Southern drawls and naming their dogs after country singers. I actually wish this was longer; you did an exceptional job here and I'm excited to see where this goes. One little thing to mention is the inconsistency of the narrative voice; it kind of strayed into something that Boudreaux might have said with this bit:

Smoke was a commin' from the stove, and he could smell vittles being cooked.

There's nothing wrong with this, obviously, but just keep it consistent in the future.

also "_____'s bad day" is a bit of a cliche though; having read this, I bet you could do a bit better.

Winston
May 28th, 2012, 06:03 PM
also ...."_____'s bad day" is a bit of a cliché though..

Glad you enjoyed it, but the entire piece is cliché, which was the intent. If you want (or can handle) more of this kind of humor, here's a link I found: Boudreaux and Thibodeaux Jokes - Southern Thoughts (http://www.southernthoughts.com/STBoudreaux.htm)

The disclaimer at the top was there for a reason. Stories like this have been told for generations. My retelling may have not done it justice, but I thought I'd give it a whack regardless. Actually, putting one's spin on such a tale can often be part of the charm. It's kind of a lost art.

Thanks for reading, and the critique.