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View Full Version : Best story ever written part 2: Winchester rises again.



Walt1093
May 26th, 2012, 10:46 PM
Author's note: Decided to give you guys a double dose of my literary awesomeness, prepare to be spellbound by this amazing story.

Blaze winchester was riding his purple stegosaurus down times square. He retired from the police force, mainly because so many women wanted to make out with him. He broke up with Katniss because she said that he was too good for her. Now he rode his stegosaurus down times square. Women crowded all around him, but the mean stegosaurus kept them away. Winchester looked up at the sky and looked down and felt a sweat coming off of his forehead and threw it to a woman nearby and she kissed it and took it home as a souvenier and kept it forever and ever and ever and ever and ever and evers and evers and evers and evers and evers.

Peeta Mellark was riding his moped through the sky, flying into buildings and flying into them. black flames arupted outta nowheres. Then Peeta landed on his nose, right in fronts of officer Winchester's stegosaurus. the stegosaurus let winchester off, then began to massage the man's elbows. massage the man's elbows.


"Officer Winchester!!!!!!!! Something wonderful has happened!!!!! Mitt Romney has invaded our city, and his ally, the evil Justin Bieber and his beautiful glorious wonderful wonderful sexy glorious accomplice Snooki!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Peeta screamed as he jumped up and down!!!!!


" Don't worry my young friend, when faced with a new weeapon, you fight fires with fires." Winchester gave whistlecall. "we'll fight women with women. You see son, women are so weak and fragile compared to men, therefore, us fighting them would be unfair. Women are here for men's pleasure. You must learn that," Winchester utterly rambled with beautiful prose.


Kim Kardashian kame running through the streets, holding ten watermelons under each arm. She ran up to Winchester ran up to him ran up to him. And threw her arms around him and kissed him and told him how wonderful he was and kissed him again and backed away and asked what the mission was and how they were going to protect the helpless city of New York!!!!!!!!!!


"Don't worry my weak and helpless woman." He winked at Peeta. "We will all work together to save the day!!!!!!!!"


"Oh thank you officer winchester!!! Its so wonderful to have a man around who will help us weak and helpless women!!!!!!" Kim sobbed as she jumped up and down. Peeta saw the badguys coming.


"Oh Officer Winchester Officer Winchester Officer winchester!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The Bad guys are coming!!!!!" Peeta screamed as he jumped up and down!!!!! "I want my mommy!!!"


Winchester slapped Peeta.


"How dare you behave like a coward, does this mean that my assistant supercop is fradycat!!!!" Winchester said with words that built up Peeta's courage.


"But Officer winchester!!!! Please have mercy on me, I have always been a sissy boy!!!!!!! I could never measure up to Gale's manliness, I was just a baker's son!!!!!!!! I never even killed anyone in the arena!!!!!" Peeta groveled as he jumped up and down.


"What about foxface!!!!!! you didn't have any trouble killing HER did you??" Winchester responded. But there was no time for small talk, Mitt Romney was closing in for the battle.


"I see that your end is near....... near...... near......" said Mitt Romney without moving a single face muscle.


"No Romney!!! YOUR end is near!!!!!!" Winchester yelled, "At least Obama doesn't flip flop his positions."


"I don't flip flop my positions, becuase I believe in business......business......business..........busi nessssss........" He held a stone expression "Money is all I care about. Those stupid redneck evangelecals can fall into the ocean for all I care, I don't need their votes anymore." Winchester slapped Romney, killing him with one blow. Rick Santorum fell from the sky and kissed Winchester's feet, thanking him for a job well done.


"Its not over yet, we still have BIEBER to deal with." Winchester said. Justin Bieber erupted from the ocean, carrying Snooki in his arms.


"You bet its not over Winchester, you haven't met the likes of me yet." Bieber said. He started singing Baby baby baby, and Winchester was challenged for the first time.


"NO!!!!!!!!!!! That noise is so HIDIOUS!!!!!!!!!" Winchester screamed as he plugged his ears. Bieber smiled, knowing he had won. but not yet. Peeta was ready to save the day.


"Justin, do you want some of my chocolate cake?" Peeta asked as he jumped up and down.


"Yes!!! I loves candy!!!!" Bieber said as he jumped up and down. He took a bite, then wanted more, until he ate the whole cake.


"Its made with a special kind of chocolate, its called something like, ex-lax."


Bieber felt a gurgle in his intestines. His stomach bloated, and he started passing gas uncontrollably. He felt the urge to go to the restroom.


"I've gotta go poo poo!!!!!" Bieber screamed as he jumped up and down. Snooki ran away, diving off the brooklyn bridge to escape the horrid smell of Bieber's gas.


"You saved the day Peeta, maybe being a sissy boy isn't such a bad thing after all." Winchester said. Kardashian began making out with him again.

Jim Alias
May 28th, 2012, 08:52 AM
I have to be honest:

This simply does not strike me as funny in the way that Friedberg and Seltzer do not strike me as funny. I know there's some sort of irony or sarcasm going on here, but the most constructive criticism I can give here is to step back and stop doing this sort of thing forever. This is to parody what a semi-truck is to a nursing home. Unless, of course, you're parodying terrible parodies, in which case that's A+ work.

Seriously though, what did you expect to gain as a writer posting this?

Walt1093
May 28th, 2012, 03:34 PM
I have to be honest:

This simply does not strike me as funny in the way that Friedberg and Seltzer do not strike me as funny. I know there's some sort of irony or sarcasm going on here, but the most constructive criticism I can give here is to step back and stop doing this sort of thing forever. This is to parody what a semi-truck is to a nursing home. Unless, of course, you're parodying terrible parodies, in which case that's A+ work.

Seriously though, what did you expect to gain as a writer posting this?


Please read the first one, and then this one will make sense. Its my attempt at writing the worst short story ever.

Randyjoe
June 2nd, 2012, 08:06 PM
I have to be honest:

This simply does not strike me as funny in the way that Friedberg and Seltzer do not strike me as funny. I know there's some sort of irony or sarcasm going on here, but the most constructive criticism I can give here is to step back and stop doing this sort of thing forever. This is to parody what a semi-truck is to a nursing home. Unless, of course, you're parodying terrible parodies, in which case that's A+ work.

Seriously though, what did you expect to gain as a writer posting this?

I can't believe you don't like this. I honestly think it's funny, I'd like to see more. My only complaint is that you've dropped the phonetic spelling, mistakes and inappropriate adjectives you had in the first one which made it extra retarded.

playingthepianodrunk
June 4th, 2012, 06:05 AM
I have to agree with this guy. If you don't like these symbols of society why not ignore them. To mock them is to further play into them. I feel like the humor is forced and immature. My best advice would be to stop watching Tosh.o, better yet throw your T.V off the Brooklyn Bridge.