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View Full Version : An Avoidable Tragedy



xlwoo
May 19th, 2012, 04:18 PM
(It is a true story happened in China. Poeple's indifference to other pepole's violence cost them their lives. But such things happen in China not once. )

Why did she run the bus off the cliff? A bus packed with passengers. Why did she take away so many lives with her? The life so dear to the individual.
She was a bus driver running between small towns in the mountainous region of west China. People hold that women are not suitable to be bus drivers. How can a petite woman drive such a big vehicle? It was man’s job.
But why can’t a woman do what a man can? Driving a large vehicle is not like lifting a heavy weight. Surely, a petite woman can’t lift a weight a big man can. But since nowadays women are flying airplanes, it is a piece of cake for women to drive buses. Anyway, she got a job as a bus driver. It was a long distance drive through the hilly areas. It took long hours to start from one town to the next.
Her bus was waiting for the scheduled time to start while passengers filed into it with luggage, big and small. Those who got seats put luggage under them. Others rested theirs on the floor beside their feet. The bus was soon a full house, even no standing room left.
It was time to leave. She got on the bus and turned the ignition. She revved up and the bus rolled forward onto the highway. Some passengers occupying seats began to doze off. Some were listening to the music on the transmitter. Some looked through the window at the fleeting scenes outside. There were three young men standing in the front of the bus, talking loudly and joking with each other about sex. What else could young men nowadays talk?
The bus driver was a pretty woman, the young men noticed. The tall one said, “She looks like your mom.” “Like your mom.” The strong one retorted. “Do you know what I’m thinking?” The lean one said, “I want to have sex with her.”
She heard all that, but said nothing, eyes fixed on the road ahead. “You don’t dare.” The tall one challenged. “Wait and see.” Observed the lean one, then whispered, “You’ll share, as usual.” They kept on saying all the obscene things about sex. A middle-aged man sat behind them, frowning all the time as their lewd chitchat went on.
She thought that they were joking, though infuriated. She pursed her lips and kept silent. There were no bathroom on the bus. If any passengers wanted to pee between stops, they should ask the driver to stop the bus to let them down. They would go to find somewhere in the field or forest to perform the natural duties. Now almost half way to the next town, someone had that urgent need and the bus slowed down to a halt on the roadside.
“Hey, let’s have some fun!” The lean one said to the driver, once the bus stopped and the door was open. The driver sat there, sipping some tea from a flask she brought with her. She didn’t even glance at him.
“I know she’s a thorny rose.” said the strong one, “don’t get your hands pricked.”
“I like it” remarked the lean one, “to be pricked by a beautiful rose.” He went close to the driver and got hold of her arm, intending to pull her out of her driving seat. She refused to let go of the driving wheel, tightly clutching on it, while she shouted “Help! Help!” But no one in the bus stirred, some just watching and some even turning their heads away, pretending that they didn’t see anything. As the lean could not draw the driver away from her seat, the strong one went to his aid. She could not resist any more.
The middle-aged man ejaculated, “What you want to do with her? Let go of her!” “Shut up, you old pig!” the tall one yelled at him, giving a blow on his shoulder. The middle-aged man was short and thin. He knew that he could not assist her physically and had to hold his tongue. The three young men drew the driver out of the bus, into the glade.
When they were away, the other passengers waited patiently in the bus. No one even went to check on the driver. No one said anything. Everybody was aware what was happening there.
An hour later, the three young men came back first, sexually-satisfied broad smile on their faces. One of them was zipping up his pants. Another twenty minutes later, the bus driver walked slowly toward her bus, hair disheveled and the blouse awry. She got on it and sat down on her seat, no trace of tears seen. Some passengers urged her to resume the drive. She just sat there like a statue. “Start the engine,” shouted the strong one, “or you know what we will do to you.”
She calmly combed her hair with her right hand. “I don’t want that man riding on my bus any more.” She meant the middle-aged man. “I won’t go unless he gets down.” She didn’t declare the reason of her demand. But it didn’t matter. So some passengers began to persuade the middle-aged man to leave the bus. “Why should I leave? I have the ticket.” He said angrily. The situation continued for quite some time.
“I warn you to leave at once.” The tall young man barked at him. As the middle-aged man refused to budge, the tall young man snatched up his luggage and threw it out through the open door. When the middle-aged man hurried down to retrieve his luggage, the door closed and the bus started to move. The man stared after the bus rumbling away. He hated the three young men. He hated the bus driver. He hated all the passengers on that bus.
The bus climbed higher and higher on the mountain. Silence reigned in the bus. No one said anything. No one wanted to say anything after what happened a while ago. The road curved. On one side of it was the steep downfall into the depth of thousands of meters. The bus accelerated. It reached the curving point. It should slow down, but no, it still sped up till it ran off the cliff.
The police found no one alive. The news was on the television and papers. The middle-aged man learned it. He was grateful in his heart. His cheeks were wet with tears.

Jim Alias
May 28th, 2012, 08:12 AM
First things first: Formatting! This story is a big block of text that is very difficult to read. Tied for first place is grammar and spelling; combined with the first problem, this is nearly unreadable.

Nevertheless, I like the perspective looking at an actual event gives on the culture surrounding the characters. So many tiny details intertwining surrounding what seems at first blush to be a very simple event, and despite its analysis-type A->B delivery, it remained very poignant. Overall, all I can really say about this is that you have a great idea and a great story here, it's just lost in a haze of things that make it very, very difficult to read. Read a few of the other stories around here and in compilations of short stories, and try completely rewriting it from scratch, even referring to other literature for help with formatting, structure, and spelling. You have something here, man. Good luck.