PDA

View Full Version : Suzy's Deadline



Kyle R
April 26th, 2012, 09:42 PM
:encouragement:

garza
April 29th, 2012, 03:37 PM
Kyle - Odd, to me, that you've received no comments on this. Perhaps there are no metafiction fans around these days.

This is a good use of the style - complex without being complicated, if that makes sense. Anyroad, the three streams are easy enough to follow and mesh well.

*
garza pauses to consider whether a detailed critique is needed, and decides it is not.

*
Good work.

Bilston Blue
April 29th, 2012, 04:05 PM
*looks around with suspicion*

Where did my comments go?

EDIT: found them in the other thread.

CJ Tomlinson
May 10th, 2012, 07:13 PM
Well, this certainly hit me hard!

I haven't really come across this type of story before, other than maybe in an interactive fiction game or something.

This felt very unique, and well done. The only thing wrong I could find was two typos. The story was engaging, and I actually started feeling that sense of "what does it matter", but when the professor announced it it still felt like a revelation.

In short; BRILLIANT!

Euripides
May 10th, 2012, 09:12 PM
Just a couple of minor typos...surpress should be suppress.

I was a tad lost between Mr. Adams and Mr. Whitcomb, and Amy....but that's probably due to my first time reading something like this.

Enjoyed it, even with me being lost.

tshuki
May 14th, 2012, 06:53 PM
I really enjoyed reading this piece! Your language is fluid, words flow freely - and the text literally sucked me in. I liked the idea behind it and the way you got it through was convincing. <3
Great work!

Dearest
May 16th, 2012, 10:08 AM
I understand the value of Amy essentially measuring the students' interest in the story, but she seemed just a bit... too excitable. It was easy to get mixed up in her reactions.