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View Full Version : Scape: a synopsis



Jeko
April 24th, 2012, 01:56 PM
Everyone thinks Mr Scattle is a creep. He never goes out, and is always watching people from his window as they try to ignore him and get on with their normal lives. But when things start getting even weirder, Jalie Jones cannot help trying to find out the truth, about Mr Scattle, his creepy house, and the sounds she hears coming from his basement.

What she finds is beyond anything anyone could have imagined. Scape: A world like her own, but crafted by Mr Scattle for his own mysterious purposes. It is filled with her neighbours, past and present, and many of them are... changed.

It begins as a magical world, but it isn’t long before Jalie discovers why Mr Scattle created the world, and why its residents are trapped inside. Mr Scattle has taken people here, and changed them – made them his own – just so he can have the pleasure of watching them fulfil his dreams before he devours them so that he can live on. There are two kinds of people in Scape; those that have not yet been taken, and those that have. Those that have not are models – facsimiles of reality given some sort of life - that Mr Scattle uses to work out people’s behaviour and how best to ‘change’ them. Once he is satisfied, he takes the person from the real world, altering their form as they are locked in his trap, ready to entertain him until he is hungry again.

Everyone in this world lives in fear; the models know that once the real ‘them’ is taken, they will be discarded and their life-force destroyed. They die. Those that have been taken know that at any time, Mr Scattle can get hungry, and his loyal servant, the Knight Pagan, always ensures he gets his meal. The Knight Pagan was the first to be taken, and was promised that he would be the last to be eaten. So, as long as Mr Scattle is taking and eating people, he lives on (for you do not age in Scape). In return, he keeps order in Scape with villainous force.
Jalie soon realises that she is in grave danger, but she cannot escape. No-one dares enter the house of Mr Scattle, and the door at the end of his basement is the only way out (and Mr Scattle has the key). Time is running out, for Jalie, and for everyone in, and out of, Scape.

And if Mr Scattle dies, everyone in Scape dies with him.


This is the outline for my new WIP, all of which is gradually discovered by Jalie throughout the story. It's a mixture of elements from fantasy, dark fantasy, horror and the supernatural, inspired by a film I watched recently. If you can guess that film, I'll give you a virtual chocolate...

So, what do you think? I'd like to know if this sort of story seems fresh/classic, and if it would work or not. It's more for a young adult audience, but could work for anyone. Depends on how I write it, I guess.

Gravehound
April 24th, 2012, 04:30 PM
I am very intrigued about this.
Post a chapter and I'll be sure to read and comment accordingly
In what era is this supposed to be happening (you mention a knight?)

Keep 'em coming!
GHound

abuistrago
April 25th, 2012, 12:28 AM
Ooooh! I liked it! Definitely not like anything I have read before and something I believe I would enjoy. Hope you post some more soon :)

Easee
April 25th, 2012, 02:58 AM
I have to say, as a similar genre writer, I really like this idea.

I work a lot with outlines, and world development, I know how frustrating it can be to write. I can write for months, hundreds of pages of outline, back story, and world dev. and yet have nothing on the actual page. This can be really frustrating for me. Let me tell you, though, that this is a fantastic idea.

There are so many things you can work with here. You have Mr Scattle, who is basically the god of the universe. That's awesome! Now my immediate question from a story perspective is, how will Jalie match his power in a conflict? Does his minion Knight Pagan have any special powers, and does he? Just curious.

I think the character Jalie is important. She needs to be very special in some way to escape.

I gotta say this peaked my creativity, this is a fun concept you have here. (Don't worry, I have enough of my own lol).

I'm curious, how is the world different and how are her friends/family different?

Again, I'm into this...

Jeko
April 25th, 2012, 08:45 AM
I'll start writing properly soon, once I'm done planning the outline, characters and key concepts.

To answer questions:

The era is modern, but the world of Scape is a mixture of many things, mostly designed to hint at Mr Scattle's history and how the world connects together.

When Jalie and Mr Scattle end up in conflict (and they will), it won't be about physical strength or powers. Mr Scattle is a quite human character, and although he once created the world, he no longer has much power to manipulate it. Thus, the conflict will be very complex - I'm thinking of going for a more intellectual victory, since I'm tired of writing things where people just shoot/stab each other. It'll be down to a series of events, all inside Mr Scattle's house. Of course, Mr Scattle's fingers will make a nice weapon, so it will get violent.

The Knight Pagan is one of my favourite characters to date. The way I'm going to introduce him is probably summed up by a snippet of character conversation. When Jalie first sees him, she is with someone else, and asks them where he got his armour from. Her friend will turn to her and say 'that's his skin'. He also always has his sword drawn - a large, greatsword, black like his armour and sharp as a razor, with an eye in the centre of each side of the hilt that watches you as you pass.

I'll definitely post some soon. Thanks for all the great feedback!

DarkMoonlight
April 25th, 2012, 05:51 PM
ok this actually sounds ace, reminds me of Neil Gaiman.
Can't wait to read more!!!!!!

Benjaminjsy
April 26th, 2012, 10:43 PM
I am a certified member of the young adult market and I can confirm that this sounds exactly like the sort of thing I'd like to read! :) Looking forward to seeing where this is going...

Blue Blazer
May 4th, 2012, 01:56 AM
reminds me of Neil Gaiman.

Argh, that's exactly what I was thinking as I read it. Beat me to the punch!

Jeko
May 4th, 2012, 08:38 AM
Neil Gaiman

He was the author that inspired me!

grimreaper
May 5th, 2012, 08:57 AM
Hello Cadence , just thought that I would let you know that Ireally like your story outline.
I will certainly read it if you ever write and publish it

AvatarAang
May 6th, 2012, 11:43 PM
Is it inspired by Coraline? Or Mirror Mask? (I think that's what it's called...)

This sounds really creepy and awesome. I'm already wondering "How are they going to get out? Appeal to the goodness in Mr Scuttle's heart? His shriveled, cannibalistic heart?"

The idea of making this little world and taking people and making them his own sounds so eerily childlike to me... Peering out of his windows like that weird kid you didn't let play four square, so instead he draws creepy pictures of you getting eaten by tigers or something.

Only instead of drawing pictures, he shoves you in his basement/secret world until you're ready to be eaten.

Jeko
May 7th, 2012, 04:29 PM
Yes, it was certainly inspired by Coraline. I've been developing the whole thing over the past week to make it even more original. Hope writing it all goes well - maybe I'll actually finish this one.

AvatarAang
May 8th, 2012, 03:06 AM
Ha. I know that. Starting a story, getting an idea, then flitting to the next one. I can't finish a story to save my life because I can't multi-task. Two ideas can't coexist in my brain peacefully.

They try to kill each other. Bloodily. You don't know how many have gone down in a blaze of glory. Mainly fanfiction ideas, those poor brave souls.

Notquitexena
May 8th, 2012, 05:03 AM
It sounds like it has potential? Have you come up with ideas for your protagonist/victims yet?

Potty
May 8th, 2012, 05:11 AM
Ever played fallout 3? There is a bit in there where the are a bunch of people trapped in a virtual reality and a sadistic man controls the machines and the constructs in which they live. He spends his time tormenting the residents to distraction to feed his own sick curiosity (hunger). He even gets the main character (you) to go round being really cruel so you can progress in the game. This sort of seems like something worthy of investigation for your story.

Jeko
May 8th, 2012, 08:12 AM
It sounds like it has potential? Have you come up with ideas for your protagonist/victims yet?

My protagonist is in full swing, with the basis for her character sorted and development for her character throughout the story to commence.


Ever played fallout 3? There is a bit in there where the are a bunch of people trapped in a virtual reality and a sadistic man controls the machines and the constructs in which they live. He spends his time tormenting the residents to distraction to feed his own sick curiosity (hunger). He even gets the main character (you) to go round being really cruel so you can progress in the game. This sort of seems like something worthy of investigation for your story.

I love that scene. Although, I always just go straight to the failsafe mechanism and end it quickly with a chinese invasion. It is fun working for him, though.