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Shpob
March 19th, 2012, 08:07 PM
His advisers insisted that putting down the rebellion was the right choice. For the good of the kingdom.
Yet the Tyrant stared at the decree — missing only his signature — with sleepless eyes. His chambers were empty save him and the 10,000 souls that awaited a legislated oblivion. They danced like demons on the razor-edge of his crimson quill.
Finally, with the resignation of a dead man, the Tyrant signed. He considered slitting his wrist, spilling his blood onto the decree to prove his agony to the bureaucrats. But he decided not to. For the good of the kingdom.

--

Exactly 100 words--a drabble.
Just posted this on my blog The Drabbler (http://the-drabbler.com). Like it? Any suggestions?

Outiboros
March 19th, 2012, 08:32 PM
I'd say very solid, especially for 100 words. Still, would a king really slit his wrists? It seems... so un-kingly to do.

Ah, and I'd advise to put spaces around the '-'s. I almost thought decree—missing was one word.

Fallow
March 24th, 2012, 12:24 AM
What there is here is very good. You really set the scene, though 100 words is a rather small amount to judge by. Does the king lead a very strict, very ritualistic culture? Is he insane? Because without one of the two, I have a hard time thinking he was seriously considering slitting his wrists.

Shpob
March 24th, 2012, 03:28 AM
Thanks for the replies!
You both have a point--the whole wrist-slitting thing doesn't really fit. I suppose I was going for shock, but it's not worth it in so few words.
It's very difficult to write a good 100 word story.

Notquitexena
March 27th, 2012, 05:07 AM
It's a good attention grabber but I find myself why you are limiting yourself to 100 words.

Wilson Edward Burroughs
March 28th, 2012, 04:40 AM
My advice would be to avoid inane shock-value as a means of grabbing attention. Without a point it becomes something that is nearly as irritatingly fluffy and cringe worthy as Twilight's purple prose.

Shpob
March 28th, 2012, 04:56 AM
My advice would be to avoid inane shock-value as a means of grabbing attention. Without a point it becomes something that is nearly as irritatingly fluffy and cringe worthy as Twilight's purple prose.

Your response was fluffy and cringe worthy.
Bah. I apologize. Thanks for the comment, and you have a point--it's just that I automatically want to go into a writerly ramble rage whenever Twilight is mentioned in the same breath as my writing.

Fallow
March 28th, 2012, 05:02 AM
Your response was fluffy and cringe worthy.
Bah. I apologize. Thanks for the comment, and you have a point--it's just that I automatically want to go into a writerly ramble rage whenever Twilight is mentioned in the same breath as my writing.

Ha ha, I know what you mean. If my writing was compared to Twilight, I think I'd cry. ](*,)