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Raptor980
March 16th, 2012, 05:36 AM
Flowers now grow over her grave. They are daisies, her favorite. They are what I remember her by, the one last thing she gave to me.

Tears filled my eyes. I could feel them streaming down my face, but I paid no attention to them.
I sat by her grave for hours telling her the stories and the rest of the things that I wanted to tell her before she died.

She did not listen. She was gone.

I continued talking to her, and even though she wasnít listening, I felt better inside.

A smile crept over my face as I continued talking, telling her all that had happened ever since she left.

Oh, how I wish I could relive that moment. I felt an overwhelming sense of warmth and joy course through me in those few hours that I spent with her.

All I could think of was her face, the peaceful expression she wore before she died. Itís as if she knew she was going to a better place.

Those haunting memories that I used to have were gone, washed away. I accepted the fact that she left us.

I got up, the smile still on my face, and stared at the daisies.

I realized something in those last few seconds I was by her grave. No one is too far gone.

tolleburg
March 22nd, 2012, 03:34 PM
Nice story.....somewhat short, would have liked to hear more vivid expression of memory and how it affected the narrator.

Nice work, keep writing.

felix
March 22nd, 2012, 08:59 PM
Flowers now grow over her grave. They are daisies, her favorite. They are what I remember her by, the one last thing gift she gave to me.

Tears had filled my eyes. I could feel them streaming down my face, but I paid no attention to them.
I sat by her grave for hours telling her the stories and the rest of the things that I had wanted to tell her before she died.

She did not didn't listen. She was gone.

I talked continued talking to her, and even though she wasnít listening, I felt better inside.

A smile crept over my face as I continued talking went, telling her all that had happened ever since she left.

Oh, how I wish I could relive that moment. I felt an overwhelming sense of warmth and joy coursed through me in those few hours that I spent with her.

All I could think of was her face, the peaceful expression she had woren before she died. Itís as if she knew she had known she was going to a better place.

Those haunting memories that I used to have were gone, washed away. I accepted the fact that she had left us.

I got up, the smile still on my face, and stared at the daises.

I realized something in those last few seconds I was by her grave. No one is too far gone.

I liked it. Short snappy, to the point.

A few issues with tense and clunky sentence structure, but it didn't detract too much from the flow. I'd consider fleshing this out with perhaps a tad more exposition and character development, but it wouldn't be a disaster not to.

Nice work. :)