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jamie's
March 2nd, 2012, 09:26 PM
Cryer In The Rain



Some people have it hard, some people have it harder. Or they simply don't have it at all. Until they have found it.



* *** *



The old park was a large place. It had also been a place of a recent storm; the enormous tree branches were lying all over. There also were broken sitting banks. Places at which hearts had been broken, then healed, then perhaps broken again. The rain that day was telling such stories.

''Excuse me, mister! Do you know of a sitting bank still useful?'', Anika asked a passer by who was, just as she, trying to enjoy that day, no matter what.

''I think there are some untouched banks on the other side of the lake...so I've been told'', the man was trying to keep his little dog well-mannered. The dog owner and his pet had been dressed in waterproof coats. Anika marked it as soon as she had seen them.

All over again in started to pour with rain. Anika and the man with the dog had to part. ''See you on the other side of the lake!'' the man said to Anika, he was confused. She rushed to hide from the rain under a building near by.

The man's dog was determining the walking pace of his owner. ''What have I done...?'' asked the man himself, as the boring rain drops were falling onto his unshielded nose. The following of the dog had turned into a giant question. The man tried to look over his shoulder several times, but his dog was more determined, pulling the man away toward the little dog's favourite play area, on the other side of the lake.

''I hope she'll forgive me...'', the man wiped out the water from his face with his wet palm. The little dog then suddenly came to a halt, and started to cry.

The dog had been broadcast on TV stations. No one could exactly say what could trigger his crying. Did he anticipate an earthquake, a volcano eruption thousands of miles away perhaps? The man smiled sourly: or did the small Cryer anticipate the soaking wet lady on the other side of the lake?

So many people in this world, crossed the man's mind. More dogs then humans, for sure. One dog for each human. And there would still be a surplus of dog friends.

A mile down the road the dog's friend and the rain stopped. ''Let's see what's around us'', hummed he to his pal. The rainbow showed up. The man and Cryer looked at it. It had almost reached the other side of the lake. He turned his face toward Cryer, and the dog cried. ''Yep, my boy...the colours of life. They try upward, and then, by and large, they fade out''. Cryer cried some more. But, soon enough, his eyes were alive, as if he was trying to say something to his pal.

''Come on, smart pants, let's go, let's go to the other end!'', the man laughed as they headed for the other side of the lake, to try and meet Anika again. ''Yes, the lady's name was Anika, Cryer! The name was written on her trainers!'', the man grabbed Cryer by his hands. Cryer then barked joyfully at his pal's being such a sport.



* *** *



Anica left her home as a teenage girl only to become homeless.

''I promise you the other galaxy'', Luckie nodded as he was trying to impress her with his knowledge of everything. She recalled, she didn't know what he was saying at that time, but, yes, he used to nod when trying to show off, and it worked pretty well for him.

She was too young and reckless to even imagine what a galaxy meant. And she didn't give it a thought at all. ''Maybe because it didn't mean a thing'', the temperature was bellow freezing, yet it was raining, and she was recapitulating.

She had been a chubby seventeen-years old girl, with teeth like pearls and large breasts. Enough for Luckie to begin recitating a poem of some imaginary poet of his, so pearls and boxom worked as lucky charms anytime. For him, oh yes, but what about her?

She changed her mind about becoming veterinarian, and/or actress, after she had met Luckie… ''Ha, ha, ha…'', the laughter triggered by remembering Luckie singed inside of her now, as the carroll singers were passing by her, the invisible one. Luckie was giving her looks and pieces of advice about how to become an actress… ''You should do this…'', ''you should do that'' stuff, you know, people, oh…

She couldn't take it any more, so she left the bank which offered the look at the lake's swans. ''Somewhere is colder yet'', the swans were spreading their wings. They were here and there breaking the thin ice around them.

She headed for the large park, although she had heard that there were large tree branches which the recent storm had left behind. ''How strong and alive they had been...'', thought she of her summers' strolling through that park. She lifted her gaze to protect herself from the rain falling in her eyes, and by doing so, saw her thin hand. ''Memories, only memories I am left with...''. She didn't feel resignation though, only the results of it.

''There is a man, maybe he's got an extra umbrella for me...'', she headed for the man. As she reached him hey had a chit-chat, and he was off with his dog. Then he tried to come back and help her somehow, maybe. His dog was anxious, he was crying. The man had to leave her. They would meet on the other side of the lake.

The rain stopped, and she was on her
way to the other side. She was trying to make herself warm. The dog has had his waterproof coat. Luckie he. Here she goes again – again with Luckie, she smiled sourly.

She reached the other lake's side soon enough for Cryer to spot her, make the highest jump he was able to make, get rid of his leash, and run away from his pal, reaching Anika, jumping for joy into her cold hands, warming them until the man came.

''Anika?'', asked the man.''Luckie?'', asked she. They were hugging each other. Cryer watched and watched, then went away to look for his ball somewhere on the play area, after having left as a present a long, satisfied, cry to remember.

CalebTheWriter
March 9th, 2012, 05:10 PM
I can say there is something I like about the story; you create a unique image, and the story sounds good from what I can tell. The character change was a little confusing, it is a hard thing to do and make the characters distinct in some way from each other. In both the scenes the characters speech patterns are the same, it would sound better if there was a bigger difference between Anica and Luckie and there presence in the world. I do like the feel of the story, and you have good grammar (compared to me anyway). Keep at it!

jamie's
March 9th, 2012, 08:17 PM
Hi CalebTWriter,
Welcome to the Forum:)
Many Thanks for putting some good word,
Bye,
jamie's