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gerkintrigg
February 26th, 2012, 08:54 AM
Jonathan Tiles passed through the deserted park on the way home from the pub, late one evening. His guts moaned with acidic resignation as his stomach swam on the edge of a vomity drunkenness that threatened to steady his steps with a vinegar flow.

The moon was full in the blue sky, so the phone shining a bright, blue light off the wet grass, was unnecessary. He forgot that he should have been inside. The full moon had been predicted by the app on his iPhone. It had even howled at him this morning to warn him to beware of werewolf attacks - a joke that he found more ironic than funny. He was not worried about being attacked. Instead, he visited the local pub to consume as much numbing liquor as he could before he, himself, changed.

Now that the insubstantial clouds moved out of the way of the wide, bright orb in the sky, he looked at it. It did not need to be in focus in order for the change to happen. There was nothing he could do; nothing he could ever do. The pain in his ribs stabbed hard and he doubled in agony, grasping his chest and howling loudly. His jaw cracked and stretched and his snout slathered and grew long, angry fangs. Not tonight, not tonight!

He remembered as the hair grew on the backs of his hands everything that tonight was to be, meeting his girlfriend's parents for the first time... But there could be no question of that now, surely. The hair pushed painfully thick fur through the eyelets of his shoes which ripped and tore the leather away from the rubber soles. He remembered why he had tried to numb the pain. Being drunk was helping a little, but when his bones stretched, he felt every inch and they all hurt. He was now free from human thought, free to be an animal. The alcohol running through his veins made him dumb and slow and he staggered home on all four limbs to his beige house that sat (mercifully) alone at the bottom of the hill. He fumbled for his keys. His doggy eyes finding it hard to distinguish the colour coded key fob that he used to mark the different keys for the door.

There was noise from inside. He fell against the door and banged his head on the wood. There was a moments silence as the world span and Jonathon gripped the floor with each matted paw, trying to stay upright. The door creaked and a sliver of yellow light cracked the porch in two as the door opened with a sigh. Standing in the swaying doorway was Sarah, Jonathan's girlfriend. She was there already! What was he to do now? Her face twisted an ugly expression as she took in the horrifying scene of her boyfriend on the door step. She screamed and yelled, and reached for something to hit him with.

"Your drunk!" she shouted and slammed the door.

Duncan21
March 1st, 2012, 06:28 PM
To be honest your story left me feeling confused. Did he change at the end? Was it all in his head? If he did change does sh know about him? I think if fleshed out this story could be quite good.

gerkintrigg
March 2nd, 2012, 10:26 AM
No, the point is that all the girlfriend sees is that he's drunk... not that he's a werewolf. It's an exploration of the differences between Male and Female perception.

I thought it was funny. Thank you for removing this delusion from my ego. :o)

Outiboros
March 2nd, 2012, 11:04 AM
If you want to make it more clear, you could always consider a few lines form the girlfriends viewpoint. I myself was confused a bit too, and was wondering whether he never changed or if he did and his girlfriend was totally cool with it.
I understand it's hard to do a proper viewpoint change in such a short story, but you could always try.

gerkintrigg
March 2nd, 2012, 11:20 AM
Yeah I can give it a go. Thanks for the advice.

Druidus-Logos
March 10th, 2012, 03:55 PM
I agree with the other posters, a little confusing. But it's got promise.

tputnik
March 10th, 2012, 08:09 PM
I understand what you where going for here. If it where fleshed out a little more I think people would be able to better understand the situation in the story and wouldn't be so confused. None the less, it's written well... though I'm not one for modern day tech. in a "Werewolf" story but that's just personal taste on my part... Always been more of a Wolfman type Werewolf story person.