View Full Version : Untitled- exerpt(Warning:Language, contains the"F" word)

November 20th, 2011, 12:21 AM
"Wakey, wakey."
Someone's poking him, gently, in the shoulder. He opens his eyes. It's morning; daylight. Frank is standing over him.
Huh? he thought. "Ya", he answers outloud.
"Hey man, did you spend all night out here?"
Where's here? "I don't know...ya, I guess."
He was on the bench seat, a couch of sorts, built into the main cabin , the "common" room as they called it at the rental yard, like a living room, only on a boat. In this case, a "house boat." Frank's company had rented one every year for two weeks each August.
"Why didn't you sleep in your cabin?"
"I must've gotten up early to take a piss, and just fell back asleep out here."
He sits up. Oooh, headache.
"Ya, please"
Nausea hits him, hangover.
"You must've really tied one over last night. I know I did. Last thing I saw before I went down was you passed out on a deck lounge, so I woke you up. You said you were going down."
There were four couples on the trip. None of the others were up yet. He was an early riser, even on weekends and holidays. He couldn't help it. Years of contracting meant 5 or 6 am starts. It was already seven, late for him. He couldn't remember last night or how he'd ended up sleeping in the common room. His own wife was asleep in their cabin.
Oh ya, my wife, he thought. She'd prefer to sleep in as usual, but was rising early, by 8 am, because everyone else was up by that time.
"Here's your coffee, black. Right?"
He took the mug. From down below his wife came in.
Looking great as usual, he thought. She'd already put up her hair and refreshed her makeup.
What's she doing up so early? Athletic cloths: tight "sweats" that showed off her behind and a tee shirt. He always noticed, although this morning she didn't even give him a glance.
More cold than usual, he thought, but nothing new, except maybe there was something...They shared the same bed but hadn't actually "slept together" in more than eight months. He couldn't remember when the last time was that they'd had sex , it had been so long.
The others were coming up now. Everyone except for Ron, the only bachelor of the group. Ron's cement company was sponsoring half of this trip. He was a new salesman to the company and they thought it would be good for him to get to know everyone since they were his customers. Ron sold to Frank, and Frank sold to the contracters. Pancakes, eggs, bacon and orange juice all hit the table. Laughter and jokes.
"Hey, where's Ron?" someone asked. His wife gave a startled "jump" at the question; he happened to be watching.
What the hell..? he thought. She'd spilled coffee on her self. He watched her, and as he did, something, a strange feeling came over him. It was a bad feeling, a foreboding. Something bad had happened or was happening.
What is it? he wondered, and he noticed that behind his eyes and cheeks a "glow" began. It spread quickly up over his forehead. Fear? Panic? He felt a tightness in his ribcage.
"He must still be asleep."
He's not asleep, he thought. How do I know that, and why the fuck am I...? The glowing heat in his face and forehead became stronger. His forearms also began to tingle.
"You okay, buddy?"
"Ya", he lied. "Hangover, I guess."
He was Frank's second largest customer for three years running. They played golf and sometimes went out to dinner, always on the material house's tab. A lot of drinking was involved. It was all part of business.
He looked across the room over at his wife. She was talking to someone else, and then suddenly he knew: she'd fucked him, Ron. She'd had sex with him, last night as a matter of fact. A fresh wave of heat washed over him and he could hear his own heart pounding in his chest and head.
What the fuck? Why do I think this? And, where the fuck was I while this was going on?
He wondered if he was going to have a heart attack. There was something else, too, if he could just remember, something else really bad, worse than that. Even worse dread came over him. He thought about his wife's infidelity. That was bad, but that wasn't the only thing. As he sat there, he glanced down at his hands. Looking closer, he noticed skin missing from the knuckles of his right hand. Whatever it was, it was more than just the sex, the cheating, and yet it had everything to do with him, his wife, and Ron. He was in big trouble, definetly.
Linda, Frank's wife came up from down below.
"He's not in there. I knocked and then I looked in."
"Whad'ya'mean he's not there? Well, maybe he's in the head."
"I just came from the bathroom. And, I didn't see him on deck, either. Ron's not on the boat"
"Well, where the hell could he go? We're in the middle of a lake"

November 28th, 2011, 12:32 PM
He's not asleep, he thought. How do I know that, and why the fuck am I...? The glowing heat in his face and forehead became stronger. His forearms also began to tingle.
"You okay, buddy?"

This sounds like a comic book super heroes powers just starting to emerge.

Also I'm kind of confused. These four couples plus the one single guy, all spend 2 weeks in august on a boat in a lake? That sounds miserable. They must not only work together but be best friends as well in order to spend two weeks together on a boat like that. What do they manage to do for 2 weeks? Is there some kind of staff who makes the eggs and bacon appear before them.

Pancakes, eggs, bacon and orange juice all hit the table.

He was on the bench seat, a couch of sorts, built into the main cabin , the "common" room as they called it at the rental yard, like a living room, only on a boat. In this case, a "house boat." Frank's company had rented one every year for two weeks each August.

I spent a few years living on Cape Cod, and all of the house boats I have experienced have been small. The lake bound house boats aren't very big either. I'm having a hard time visualizing 9 adults happily going on for 2 weeks in a house boat. It would make more sense if they were on some manner of yacht.

Do you have any experience with house boats? Or women? I could never talk my girlfriend into a 2 week boat trip, unless it was some private romantic thing, because she's just not that into water sports. One week might have been a more believable amount of time.

It's a fun read, because it sounds like paranormal mystery. If it is a mystery a boat on a lake is a good setting.

November 29th, 2011, 04:52 AM
No superheroes. I was trying to describe the sensations that one gets, or at least that I've experienced when I feel extreme anxiety/fear/dread. I think it's an adrenaline reaction. Embarrassment can feel similar. I guess it didn't work.

He, the main character, does not have esp. He just has a poor memory brought on by acute alcohol consumption. He knows something happened but his memory of it is unclear(so far)

"Houseboating" as a form of vacationing, is popular in some places, and woman do go. Some married friends of mine recently returned from one such trip. What is there to do? Well, you drive the boat to a secluded location , preferably a beach cove and park it. Then, using it as a home base, you fish, waterski, wakeboard, swim, or just go speeding around in smaller boats. Typically, there's a lot of alcohol involved.

Size of the boat? How many couples? Hmm... I'll have to research that.

Servants? No. You cook for yourself. Although there are beds and a kitchen(gally?) conditions are spartan. It's sort of like camping. It's not for everyone. Some like to see the pretty water from a window or a balcony, others can't wait to get "into" it.

Two weeks? Your right, that's too much. Do I know any women? Well, no., but I've heard of them. Fluffy tails, sharp retractable claws, devilish eyes... Hang on a second...EH, Honey?..houseboat trip, how long, usually? One week, right. Thanks. Sorry. Yep, one week it is. I'll change that.

The story is based on true events as were related to me years ago. I thought I would take the basic premise and go with it.

November 30th, 2011, 01:25 AM
So, this morning I run into one half of the couple who went "houseboating" about a month ago. His name is &***. I'll just refer to him as "R". I asked him some questions:

Me: Hey, how many couples were on the houseboat trip with you?

R: Uh, let's see..Hey ****(material house owner who paid for and organised trip. I will call him 'A' )how many people were on the trip?

A: Oh, crap, like uh, 14 this time. We've had like over twenty before.

Me: All on one boat? I thought those things were small.

R: No, you can get 'em even bigger than that. This thing was three stories.

Me: And everyone had their own rooms, their own bedrooms?

R: Oh, ya. Of course. The things big...full kitchen too. They're really nice..plasma screens, refridgerator, microwaves. It like a house. It is a house, on the water.

Me: So, conditions, are they what you'd call "spartan"?

R: Oh, no way. Believe me, when "A" goes, it's always first class. Especially if his wife goes. I've been like 6 or 7 times with him. It's always really fun. There's only one drawback: you have to all get along. You have no choice. Your stuck with 'em on a boat.

Me: So, you "drive" a three story house boat to a spot and park it?

R: Ya, you drive it. The things go like 15 miles an hour, so, in 2 hours you can drive 30 miles.

Me: And how do you know where to go?

R: Well, we've been to that place so many times that we know exactly where we want to go, but even if you didn't, you could just ask around at the dock and someone would tell you a good direction to go.

Me: So, you have a cove that you go to and you anchor offshore?

R: Ya, sort of. What you do is you ram the boat, front first, into the shore. Then it just stays there by itself. It's like fifty feet long, so the rear end of the boat is in deep water and you fish or swim right off the back end- there's even a waterslide. When it's time to leave, your props are in deep water and they just pull you right off the shore. At first it's kind of tricky driving that big old thing, but you get the hang of it pretty quick. It's a boat. Just a big boat.

Me: And you guys brought other boats? Smaller boats.

A: We had two of 'em.

Me: How long was the trip?

R: Ten days

A: Ya, ten days.