View Full Version : Avtomat Kalashnikova

January 25th, 2011, 11:35 AM

Not even blood can wash away the goodness inside your heart, for, we are all born of love.

The Avtomat Kalashnikova model of 1947, commonly known as AK -47 is the most prolific assault rifle that exists today. It is an amalgam of desired criteria designed to withstand the worst condition one could ever imagine. It‘s durability can defy sandstorms, glaciers and typhoons which is paradoxical to its low-production cost. If you want someone dead, all you should do is pull the trigger from a distance of 1300ft and watch how the savage rifle will ragingly fire its hasty bullets propelled to filch your enemy’s life. The gun is truly legendary, but I wonder if it can take away the quintessence of being a man in me..

“ Target is approaching fast, you got 10 seconds to shoot..”
10.… 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4.… 3.…. 2.…”

I uttered a little prayer before beating the trigger.
Just like a whisper, my 46th prey was blown by my little friend named Bullet.

In my experience, guns are the most reliable talkers. It will only speak once, and when it does, it’s the end of conversation.

My name is John and I’m chasing vengeance. I’m trying to forget my past, my family, my lover and my friends. After the chaotic scene that took place ten years ago, I throttled my way forward to steer my lethal pursuit. It’s clear that not even my memories can stop me from painting the face of bloodshed.

“Nice work John. I have already forwarded the money. I’ll call you when I need you. ” a voice of a satisfied client talking.

Being an assassin is not easy. Love is a distraction. Affection is a wick for self-mutilation. Mercy must be eclipsed by odium and socialization must be episodic.

A day after, I went to Hawaii.
The Hawaiian juices are soothing, enough to relax my nerves.
Lively bodies are everywhere and the aroma of the bright flowers smells like life. How I love to watch the sunset as the serene lightness of wind gently kisses my stitched lips. I plan on wasting the day without talking to anyone when suddenly…

“ Hey..” a feminine voice.

(I stared at the girl, showing no emotions.)

“You’ve been lying there for almost five hours, I really thought you’re dead. .”

“ What do you want?” I asked.

“ I’m Mindy, and as you see, I’m looking for…”

“ I’m dull.” just to get rid of her.

“Well, I’m just glad you’re alive. ” she’s now walking away..

I watched her walk away quite troubled by my rudeness.
But conscience was hurting my ear so I called her back.

“Mindy. ” with a voice only above whisper.

She turned around smiling at me.

“ Let’s have fun!” she said with her eyes sparkling.

I was never with a woman for years now. I’ve forgotten what it feels like. In fact,even my few words seemed improper and I was beginning to think that I turned into a jerk over the course of time. Anyway, she’s still there, but I wont blame her if she chooses to leave me as the tribal rhythms of ethnic drums drown my hearing.

We watched how Hawaiians dance with fire. I watched her go crazy over glasses of tequila. I listened to her insane shouting. I photographed her dancing. And what did I do for fun? Nothing.

“ So John, how about tomorrow?”

“ Nope.”

“ That’s really sad.” her face rumpled.

“ Tonight.” I said with a manly stare on my face.

“ I really thought you‘re gay.”
I saw how elated she was and that put a conserved smile on my lips. After all the killings, I actually made someone glad. She’s like a child, a little girl playing with an assassin.

And so I carried her to bed. We kissed passionately. I felt her warmth. I ripped her top apart. I explored her body. I never felt this kind of thirst before. I traveled into a wonderland. I didn’t close my eyes. I chose to savor the view and I absorbed the scene of pleasure.

Her lips traveled down into my burly chest then she slowly went higher to lick my neck. Her fingernails scratched my back which took me atop of a very high sensation.

I put my lips on her ear before I teasingly brush it with my tongue.
I bit her neck and I carried her up against the wall.
She wrapped her legs around my hips.
I stared within the depth of her eyes and we became one.
There was pleasure, there was satisfaction, I found my release.

I left before she woke up and the last thing I saw in Hawaii was her beautiful face. I really believed that of all the roses, she’s the only one without thorns.

Two months later, I received a call from a client.

“ Mindy Shannen, An Irish Businesswoman. She’s a hindrance to my business.. For 1 Million USD, would you do it John?”

The dial tone awakened my senses. It felt like I was falling from an unending height of devastation. Where is my heart when I said yes?

But I’m an assassin. Someone will do it eventually so, I’d rather be the one.

I went to work. I checked her profile. I surveyed her visibility. I marked her routine and covered the most perfect surveillance designed to kill my 47th target.

From the tiniest bit of information I got, I begun cracking her personal data until I filled the vacuum of my determination with clustered facts aimed to kill her .

“ So she uses dirty tricks too. She orders pawns like me to kill for her. She’s a demi-goddess..” Perhaps, things like this is a way for an elite.

“ A rose without thorns huh? She’s a thorn with a rose.”

Everything was set to fulfillment. The plan to snatch her breath seemed an easy task.

I called my spotter, Leo.
Since the location is crowded, a shot from a distance would be suiting and an assistance from an eagle eye is necessary for counter-measures.

“ Target’s location is verified. She’s going out… She’s going out…
We got four seconds to terminate her….……..and…. she’s out!!”

“You’re in John!”

The crosshair was perfectly aimed on her still forehead. My breathing was flawless and there was no doubt in my mind that I was going to kill her. I heard a dove clapping his wings as the voice from my radio echoes the signal of a looming tragedy. I saw her smiling from afar in the middle of that lethal scope.

“ 4.……3.…….2.…….”

“ BANG!!”

I hastily turned my back as spectators and sirens begun to inundate the place.

“ Perfect John!”
Leo’s voice verified the crime’s success right in my ear.

I saw the red and blue lights scattered in all directions before I vanished along with my conscience…

“ Same as ever John. You’ll get the money as part of our deal. I’ll call you when I need you.”

After receiving my satisfied client’s call, I immediately thought of checking my e-mail to confirm if he abided with our deal.

The familiar tone of Windows serenaded my ears.
Only short seconds elapsed and I was there.

Email: [email protected]******.com
Password: chas******e

There are two unread messages. I was expecting only one and so I thought of another obliteration request right away. But I was wrong…


I do hope that you remember me. I’ve never met a guy like you before- someone as reserved.

John, I’m havin’ a child and please, don’t be too frigid not to understand why I’m telling you this.

All you need to do is reply to this message.
I’ll be waiting..

Mindy. .

January 25th, 2011, 12:37 PM
Great outline for an interesting story. All you need is enough detail to bring the characters to life, so the reader really cares about them. I don't think the title works; it's not about what firearms do, it's about what people do.

January 25th, 2011, 12:44 PM
Thanks wron. What you said is very helpful. I'm going to make this one better. Thank you. :)

January 25th, 2011, 01:32 PM
That was no heart attack. This is no outline. It may not pull anyone else in as it did me, but I found it perfect. This is a quick look in at how one part of the real world works. We may not approve, we may not like it, but we have to face it. This is real.

The weapon is as much a character in the story as John or Mindy. You can't do what John does for a living with just any weapon. The Avtomat Kalashnikova has a personality that is unique, except for the cheap ripoffs made in the US and the Czech Republic. I'm assuming John was using either an original Russian-made AK or the equally good, some say slightly better, Chinese model.

Well done, walkbyfaith, well done.

January 25th, 2011, 01:56 PM
Thank you so much garza.. The Avtomat Kalashinikova itself resembles John.. The only difference is the fact that John has a heart.. I really appreciate everything you've just said.. Take care brother.. Persons like you inspire me a lot. :)

January 25th, 2011, 02:06 PM
I didn't want to say it this way, out of respect for the group, but maybe I should. Guns don't kill people. People kill people.

January 25th, 2011, 02:14 PM
A gun is just a tool.. You're right wron.. A gun acts after the will of someone who owns it...
Some people just don't care about others until their own doings backfire against them.

January 25th, 2011, 02:42 PM
As a reporter the most dangerous weapon I've ever aimed at anyone is my pencil. But also as a reporter I've been in close contact with, mingled with, got drunk with, joked with, fellows armed with AK-47s and fellows armed with M16s, and I have, on several occasions, been caught in the crossfire between such groups. To say the personality of the weapon has no influence on the attitude of the man carrying the weapon is to disregard the experiences of many of us who've been there.

January 25th, 2011, 02:56 PM
Both of you are right... There's a thing called synergy between the shooter and the gun...
Somehow, it feels like, some things are really made to fit into your soul..

The Avtomat Kalashnikova is a metaphor for John's personality..

January 25th, 2011, 05:35 PM
walkbyfaith - You've been there. You know.

January 25th, 2011, 11:56 PM
indeed garza...

Olly Buckle
January 26th, 2011, 11:37 AM
The AK is different from most Russian weapons, the classification of most is an abbreviation of the weapon type followed by the year of design, eg T39 is a tank designed in 1939. The AK was exceptional enough that the designer was honoured by having his name as the prefix.

Walk by faith, I wonder if English is not your only language? Some of your constructions are slightly strange to my ear, for example,

If you want someone dead, all you should do is pull the trigger from a distance of 1300ft and watch how the savage rifle will ragingly fire its hasty bullets propelled to filch your enemy’s life.

I would expect something more like this:-

If you want someone dead, all you need do is pull the trigger at a distance of 1300ft and watch the savage rifle rage fire, propelling its hasty bullets to filch your enemy’s life.

This is not a criticism, merely a question, sometimes having a slightly different view of a language can be beneficial, some of our greatest writers started life speaking Welsh, Irish or Scots Gaelic. Though looking back I do think "should" is the wrong word there, nobody "should" be aiming guns at others in my opinion.

January 26th, 2011, 02:44 PM
I like the story, but there are a few problems: First, while the AK-47 is generally considered one of the most reliable assault rifles in production, its accuracy is woeful. The SA80 assault rifle is the most accurate ever produced, with a range of 450 metres (1470 feet). Whereas the AK-47 has a maximum range of 300 metres (970 feet). At a distance of 1300 feet you would be lucky to hit a car, much less a human being.

Second, if your main character is an assassin he would know not to use a weapon such as the AK for disposing of targets. He'd want a suppressed weapon. The AK-47 is not a great platform for mounting a suppressor to because the muzzle threads are not cut straight to the bore, which means that any suppressor added to it would not be affixed straight enough to avoid damage from bullets. He would opt for a sniper rifle instead.

It's just things like this that need to be researched if you write in this genre. Overall, the story is engaging and fun to read.

January 27th, 2011, 04:37 AM
When you talk about accuracy of a rifle the number you must be concerned with is its MoA - moment of angle. All rifles are accurate at 400 metres, but how accurate? If you fire ten rounds at a target 400 metres away, how big will the circile be that you need to draw to include all the hits? What I've been told in the field is that AK47's adapted for sniper work will equal or surpass any small calibre assault weapon.

For many the AK47 possesses a mystique that puts it outside any ordinary comparison of firearms. A fellow in the bush in El Salvador commented that he would give me his wife before he would give me his AK. There are too many personal factors that go beyond any scientific or technical evaluation.

Maybe the story stretches my suspension of disbelief to the breaking point, but that's okay. In the words of the story I hear a voice I've heard many times before in those dark places where death walks.

Edit - Looking back over the whole thread I suddenly see two lines in this last post that give me an idea for a story. If I quote myself, is that plagiarism?

January 27th, 2011, 05:37 AM
Actually, English is my third language after Mandarin and Filipino..
Anyway, what you said is really helpful..
Would you let me use your suggested construction so I can make this piece better?

January 27th, 2011, 05:46 AM
An AK-47 is a very versatile rifle.
Actually, it can even propel a bullet up to a distance of 1400ft. When modified, noise suppression is greatly possible..
Avtomat Kalashnikova is a character. It just like what garza said..
Somehow, the gun is a reflection of someone's soul..

Well, Sam, I really appreciate your comment. It's my fault. I failed to provide enough details to avoid confusions on the part of the readers..
But I really want to thank you for reading it.. I'll make it better next time..
Be safe brother.

January 27th, 2011, 07:57 PM
Maglakad sa kapayapaan, maglakad sa pamamagitan ng pananampalataya, kapatid.